10 behaviors that immediately turn people off when you first meet them

There’s a fine line between making a good first impression and completely turning someone off.

The difference? Awareness.

Often, we’re not even conscious of the behaviors we exhibit that can be off-putting to others when we first meet them.

I’m going to share with you ten of these common mistakes that can instantly shift someone’s opinion about you, even before you’ve had the chance to properly introduce yourself.

Let’s get started.

1) Dominating the conversation

One of the quickest ways to turn someone off when you first meet them is by dominating the conversation.

We’ve all been there. You’re excited to meet someone new, maybe you’re a bit nervous, and before you know it, you’ve spent the entire time talking about yourself.

While it’s natural to want to share about your life and experiences, it’s important to remember that good conversation is a two-way street.

Others may interpret this behavior as self-centered or uninterested in them. And that’s not the impression you want to leave.

Try to make sure the conversation is balanced. Ask questions, show interest in what they’re saying, and give them space to share about themselves too.

2) Checking your phone constantly

I’ll never forget this one time I met up with a friend of a friend for coffee. We’d heard so much about each other and were eager to finally meet in person.

As soon as we sat down, his phone started buzzing. And instead of turning it off or silencing it, he kept checking it every few minutes.

I tried to be understanding at first. But after a while, it became clear that his attention was divided. He was physically there, but mentally somewhere else.

It was a real turn-off. I left that meeting feeling like I was less important than whatever was happening on his phone.

When you’re in a conversation, especially when meeting someone for the first time, give them your undivided attention. It shows respect and tells them that they are important to you. Your phone, emails, or text messages can wait.

3) Negativity and constant complaining

We all have our bad days, where everything seems to go wrong and complaining feels like the only option. However, when meeting someone new, this can be a major turn-off.

In a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, it was found that people who constantly complain are perceived as less attractive. This is because complaints often bring down the mood and can make the other person feel uncomfortable or burdened.

First impressions count and a positive attitude can go a long way.

4) Not respecting personal space

Personal space is something we all value, and it’s an unspoken rule of social interaction. When someone invades this space, it can make us feel uncomfortable or even threatened.

When meeting someone for the first time, it’s crucial to maintain a respectful distance. This means not standing too close, not touching unnecessarily, and certainly not leaning in too much during conversation.

Everyone has a different level of comfort when it comes to personal space. It’s always better to err on the side of caution and respect that boundary until you get to know the person better.

5) Interrupting constantly

There’s nothing quite as frustrating as someone who doesn’t let you finish your sentences. Being interrupted constantly can make people feel unheard and undervalued.

When we’re excited or passionate about a topic, it can be easy to accidentally cut someone off mid-sentence. But remember, a conversation is a two-way street.

Listening to what the other person has to say is just as important as sharing your own thoughts. Show respect by letting them finish their thoughts, and they’ll be more likely to extend the same courtesy to you.

6) Being dismissive of others’ opinions

We all have our beliefs, values, and opinions. They are a part of who we are. When you meet someone for the first time and they dismiss your point of view without even considering it, it can feel like a personal attack.

It’s okay to disagree with someone. But it’s not okay to dismiss their opinion without understanding their perspective. Remember, everyone has a unique worldview shaped by their experiences.

Let’s strive to foster an environment of mutual respect where everyone’s opinions are valued, even if they differ from our own. We may learn something new and grow as individuals in the process.

7) Not making eye contact

I’ve always been a little shy, and for the longest time, I struggled with making eye contact during conversations. I didn’t realize how much of an impact it was having on my interactions until a close friend pointed it out.

Eye contact is more than just a social norm; it’s a form of non-verbal communication. It shows the other person that you’re engaged and interested in what they have to say.

However, when you avoid eye contact, it can come across as disinterested or even rude. It took me a while to overcome this habit, but once I did, I noticed a significant improvement in my conversations and connections.

When you’re meeting someone new, make sure to maintain appropriate eye contact. It could make all the difference in how your interaction goes.

8) Trying too hard to impress

It might seem like a good idea to put your best foot forward when meeting someone for the first time, highlighting your achievements and successes. After all, you want to make a good impression, right?

However, this can sometimes have the opposite effect. People often appreciate authenticity over a polished facade. Constantly trying to impress can come across as boastful or insincere.

Instead, focus on being genuine and real. Share your passions and interests, but also be open about your struggles and failures. You’ll find that people are more likely to connect with your authenticity than a carefully curated image.

9) Lack of enthusiasm

Enthusiasm is contagious. When you’re truly excited about something, it shows, and it can draw people in.

But, conversely, a lack of enthusiasm can be off-putting. If you seem uninterested or bored when meeting someone new, they might feel that you’re not interested in getting to know them.

Even if you’re having a bad day or feeling low, try to engage in the conversation and show genuine interest in the other person. Small things like maintaining eye contact, nodding along, and asking follow-up questions can go a long way in showing your enthusiasm.

10) Not being present

In our fast-paced, digital world, it’s easy to get distracted. But when you’re meeting someone for the first time, the most important thing you can do is to be fully present.

When you’re truly present, you listen better, respond more authentically, and engage more meaningfully. It shows respect and interest in the person you’re interacting with.

Set aside your distractions, quiet your mind, and focus on the person in front of you. Being present might just be the key to making a genuine connection.

Final thoughts: It’s about respect

At the heart of it all, these behaviors revolve around one basic principle: respect.

When we respect others, we listen attentively, we consider their opinions, and we engage with genuine interest. We give them space when needed, and we value their time and presence.

Dr. Maya Angelou, a renowned author and civil rights activist, once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

When we meet someone for the first time, we have a unique opportunity to make them feel seen, heard, and valued. By avoiding these off-putting behaviors, we can ensure that our interactions leave a positive and lasting impression.

As we navigate through our social interactions, let’s remember to carry respect and mindfulness with us. Because in the end, it’s not just about making a good impression. It’s about making meaningful connections.