10 little phrases that make you sound more insecure than you are

We all want to be confident, right?

But sometimes, the words we use can make us seem less sure of ourselves than we really are.

In this article, we’ll talk about 10 phrases you might be saying that could be making you look less confident.

By being careful with our words, we can show people that we’re strong and sure of ourselves.

Are you ready to learn how to sound as confident as you feel?

Let’s get started. 

1. “I’m no expert, but…”

We’ve all used this phrase at some point, especially when we’re about to share our thoughts or ideas.

It might feel like you’re being humble or polite, but it can also sound like you’re not confident in what you’re about to say.

If you have something to share, just go ahead and say it!

You have every right to your opinion and your ideas are valuable.

Remember, you don’t need to be an expert for your thoughts or opinions to matter.

2. “This might be a stupid question, but…”

There’s a good chance you’ve heard this one before, or maybe even said it yourself.

While it’s true we don’t all know everything, starting your question with this phrase can make it seem like you’re doubting your own intelligence.

But remember, there’s no such thing as a stupid question. 

If you’re curious or don’t understand something, asking questions is a great way to learn.

3. “Sorry to bother you…”

I must admit, this one has slipped out of my mouth more times than I can count.

It’s a phrase often used when we’re about to ask for help or need someone’s attention.

But when I stopped to think about it, I realized that by saying this, I was almost apologizing for taking up space or someone’s time.

The truth is, we all have the right to ask for help or seek attention when it’s needed.

It’s part of interacting with others and getting things done.

Instead of starting with an apology, a simple “Excuse me” or “Do you have a moment?” can be more assertive and respectful of both your time and theirs.

4. “Just”

The word “just” is a sneaky one; it often finds its way into our sentences, diluting the impact of what we’re trying to say.

When you say things like, “I just think…” or “I was just wondering…”, it can make your statements appear less decisive and less confident.

The word serves to soften your message and can inadvertently communicate that you’re not fully invested in your own opinions or inquiries.

IF you catch yourself using “just,” consider dropping it to make your statements more direct and confident.

Your thoughts and opinions are valuable and deserve to be clearly and assertively communicated.

5. “Does that make sense?”

This phrase tends to pop up at the end of our explanations or statements, as if we’re seeking validation that our input is understandable or logical.

It might feel like you’re being considerate, ensuring that your listener is following along.

However, it can also subtly suggest that you’re not confident in your ability to communicate effectively.

I believe in the heart of hearts that it’s crucial to trust in our capacity to express our thoughts clearly. Your feelings, thoughts, and ideas are valid and they do make sense.

Instead, consider asking, “Do you have any questions?” or “Would you like me to elaborate on that?”

These alternatives show that you’re open to further discussion without doubting your own articulation.

6. “I may be wrong, but…”

This phrase has been my go-to disclaimer whenever I felt uncertain about my opinions or ideas.

I used to think it made me seem open-minded, ready to accept if I was incorrect.

But then, I realized it was doing more harm than good by making me sound unsure of my own thoughts.

Honestly, we all get things wrong sometimes and that’s okay! It’s part of being human.

So, instead of preemptively declaring potential inaccuracies, let’s focus on stating our thoughts confidently and be open to learning from any corrections or constructive criticism that may come our way.

After all, it’s through these conversations that we grow and learn.

7. “I guess…”

“Guessing” is something we do when we’re not sure, right?

So, when we start our sentences with “I guess…”, it can sound like we’re unsure or indifferent about what we’re saying.

It’s as if we’re not fully committed to our own thoughts or feelings.

Let’s be real here, it’s okay to be decisive and have strong opinions. It doesn’t mean you’re being stubborn or close-minded.

It means you’re being honest and open about your thoughts. So instead of saying “I guess…”, let’s try saying “I think…” or “I believe…” to express ourselves confidently and authentically.

Your voice matters, so let it be heard loud and clear. 

8. “I feel like…”

This phrase is frequently used as a buffer when we’re about to express an opinion or make a statement.

It may seem like a harmless way to soften the potential impact of what you’re about to say, but it can also come across as if you’re not entirely sure in your stance.

Linguist Mark Liberman found that the use of “I feel like” before expressing an opinion has risen significantly over the decades.

This might be due to a cultural shift towards expressing ourselves more tentatively.

However, if you’re sure about your opinion, consider simply stating it outright.

It’s okay to assert your thoughts directly, without any cushioning.

9. “I’ll try…”

This phrase is one I used to use a lot, especially when I was unsure if I could meet someone’s expectations or complete a task.

Saying “I’ll try…” can sometimes sound like you’re not fully committed or you’re already expecting to fail.

When I caught myself using it, I started to replace “I’ll try” with “I’ll do my best”.

This small change made a big difference. It helped me feel more confident in my abilities and showed others that I was committed to doing the best I could.

It’s a small tweak, but it can really help to boost your self-confidence and show others that you’re serious about what you’re doing.

10. “It’s probably not that good, but…”

This is a classic self-deprecation phrase many of us use when we’re about to present something we’ve worked on.

It might seem like you’re just trying to lower expectations, but really, it can come across like you’re not proud of your work or you don’t believe in its value.

It’s time to give yourself some credit!

You’ve put in the work, you’ve put in the time, and you deserve to feel proud of that.

So instead of downplaying your efforts, let your work shine for what it is.

You might be surprised at how well it’s received when presented with confidence.

11. “I don’t know why I’m upset.”

Okay, this one’s a bit different. It’s not about sounding unsure, but it can indicate that you’re not giving your feelings the validity they deserve.

Saying “I don’t know why I’m upset” can sound like you’re brushing off your emotions or deeming them as unimportant.

The truth is, your feelings are valid. Always. It’s okay not to have all the answers right away.

Emotions can be complex and sometimes they need to be felt before they can be understood.

So give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling without judgement or dismissal.

Remember, the way we speak about ourselves and our thoughts greatly impacts how others perceive us.

So let’s choose our words wisely and communicate in a way that truly reflects our confidence and self-assuredness.

Because we are more than capable, more than enough, and definitely more secure than some of these little phrases might make us seem!