10 signs someone is genuinely attracted to you but trying to play it cool

Decoding the language of attraction can be downright bewildering. Sometimes, people are genuinely attracted to you but try to play it cool to keep their feelings under wraps.

Are they really into you, or are they just being friendly? Trust me, we’ve all been there. But don’t worry, there are certain signs that can help you unravel this mystery.

In this article, I’m going to walk you through the 10 signs that someone is genuinely attracted to you but trying to play it cool. 

Let’s dive in.

1) Their body language speaks volumes

Body language is a powerful tool in understanding someone’s feelings towards you, and this is especially true when it comes to attraction.

People who are genuinely attracted to you but trying to play it cool might not openly confess their feelings, but their body language often tells a different story.

You see, no matter how hard we try to hide our emotions, our body tends to give us away. It could be the way they glance at you when you’re not looking, the subtle touch on your arm during a conversation, or the fact that they always position themselves close to you.

These subtle gestures can be easy to miss if you’re not paying attention. But if you start noticing them, it might be a sign that they’re genuinely attracted to you.

However, remember that body language might differ from person to person. What’s important is the consistency of these signs. If they keep happening, chances are they’re not just coincidences.

2) They remember the small details

I remember when I first noticed this with my now-husband. We were only friends back then, and he was trying to keep his feelings for me a secret. But one thing that stood out was how he remembered every tiny detail about our conversations.

Once, I casually mentioned my favorite childhood book in a conversation. Weeks later, he surprised me with a copy of that same book on my birthday. It was a small detail from a random conversation, but he remembered it.

If someone is genuinely attracted to you, they’ll pay extra attention to what you say and remember the details that even you might forget. They’ll bring up these details in future conversations or use them to show their care and interest in you.

These gestures might not scream “I’m attracted to you,” but they certainly whisper it. 

3) They’re always there to support you

One of the biggest signs that someone is attracted to you is their willingness to be there for you, no matter what. Even when they’re trying to play it cool, this trait is hard to hide.

Research shows that people who are attracted to someone instinctively want to assist them and be part of their lives. It’s a way of showing care and building a deeper bond.

So, if they’re always ready to lend a hand, willing to listen when you need to talk, or even just there to cheer you up when you’re feeling down, take note. They might be trying to convey their feelings without actually saying the words.

Genuine attraction is about more than just being supportive when it’s convenient. It’s about showing up consistently, even when things get tough.

4) They initiate contact

When someone is genuinely attracted to you but trying to play it cool, they might not confess their feelings outright. But one thing they’ll likely do is initiate contact.

Whether it’s a text message, a phone call, or arranging meet-ups, they’ll find reasons to get in touch or spend time with you. This could mean sending you funny memes that reminded them of you, sharing interesting articles, or simply asking about your day.

But remember, the frequency of contact matters too. If they’re constantly reaching out to you and initiating conversations, it’s a good sign they’re into you.

Yet, they might still try to balance this out to avoid coming off as too eager. So if they’re hitting the sweet spot between being present but not too pushy, chances are they’re genuinely attracted and just playing it cool.

5) They show genuine interest in your life

Another sign that someone is genuinely attracted to you is their interest in your life. Even when they’re trying to play it cool, their curiosity about your world can hint at deeper feelings.

They’ll want to know about your day, your plans for the weekend, your favorite movies, or even how your annoying work project is going. It’s not just about making conversation; they’re genuinely interested in getting to know you better.

This interest often extends beyond just you. They might also show interest in the people and things that matter to you – wanting to meet your friends, showing curiosity about your hobby, or even asking about how your pet’s vet appointment went.

6) They light up when they see you

There’s a certain spark that’s hard to miss when someone is genuinely attracted to you. Even if they’re trying to play it cool, this glow is often visible.

You can see it in their eyes, their smile, and the way their face lights up when they see you. It’s like you bring a certain brightness to their day that nothing else can.

This isn’t about grand gestures or overly romantic moments. It’s about those small, genuine reactions that happen naturally when they’re around you. It’s the kind of thing that can make even the most ordinary moments feel special.

If you notice this glow in them whenever you’re together, it could be a heartwarming sign that they’re genuinely attracted to you but trying to keep it subtle.

7) They tease you in a playful manner

I used to be quite sensitive about my clumsy nature. But one day, a friend started teasing me about it in this light-hearted, playful way that actually made me laugh. It was fun, not hurtful, and it was then I realized – he was genuinely attracted to me.

Playful teasing is often a sign of attraction. It’s a way for someone to initiate interaction and express interest without being too serious or obvious about their feelings.

If they’re poking fun at you in a good-natured way, laughing with you, and making sure you’re enjoying the banter as well, they might be showing their attraction subtly. Just remember, the key here is respect. Genuine attraction means they’ll never cross the line into making you feel uncomfortable or upset.

8) They’re comfortable with silence around you

In our society, silence is often seen as awkward, something to be filled with chatter. But when someone is genuinely attracted to you, they don’t feel the need to fill every moment with conversation.

They’re comfortable sitting in silence with you, whether it’s enjoying a peaceful sunset or simply being present with each other after a long day. These moments of quiet can actually be quite intimate, allowing a deeper connection to form.

So if someone seems perfectly at ease during those quiet moments with you, it might seem unusual, but it could be a sign they’re genuinely attracted and just trying to keep it cool.

9) They show respect for your boundaries

Respect is a foundational element of any relationship, and it’s certainly a sign of genuine attraction. If someone respects your boundaries, it shows their regard for your feelings and comfort.

Even if they’re trying to play it cool, they’ll make sure not to cross any lines you’ve set. They won’t pressure you into anything you’re not ready for or comfortable with. Instead, they’ll give you the space and time you need.

This respect can manifest itself in many ways: understanding when you need alone time, not pushing you to share things you’re not ready to discuss, or even respecting your dietary choices at a dinner date.

Remember, a person who genuinely likes you cares about your comfort and well-being, and respecting your boundaries is a clear sign of that.

10) They’re themselves around you

The most telling sign of genuine attraction is authenticity. When someone is truly attracted to you, they’re comfortable being their true self around you.

They’re not trying to impress you with a false image or pretend to be someone they’re not. Instead, they let you see their quirks, their passions, their vulnerabilities – the real them.

This authenticity is a testament to their trust in you and their desire for you to know the genuine person behind the cool exterior. So if someone lets their guard down and shows you their true self, it’s a beautiful sign of genuine attraction.

Final thoughts: It’s all in the subtleties

When it comes to discerning whether someone is genuinely attracted to you but trying to play it cool, it’s these subtleties that hold the answers. The fleeting glances, the soft touches, the shared laughter – they all weave a story of attraction that words often fail to capture.

Renowned psychologist and author, Dr. John Gottman, suggests that these ‘bids for connection’ are the building blocks of a relationship. They are the small moments where someone reaches out, in their own way, to show interest and affection.

Recognizing these signs requires attention and insight. But once you start noticing them, they can transform your understanding of attraction and connection.

So next time you find yourself questioning someone’s feelings towards you, don’t just focus on what they say. Pay attention to what they do – the actions they take, the space they share with you, their reactions when you’re around.

Because sometimes, it’s these silent signals that shout the loudest about someone’s genuine attraction towards you.