10 signs you love each other a lot, but you just weren’t meant to be

by Tina Fey | November 28, 2024, 5:05 pm

Love can be a complex and confusing thing. Sometimes, you love someone deeply, but there’s just something off. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but the relationship just doesn’t feel like it’s meant to be.

Recognizing this can be tough, especially when you’re so emotionally involved. But there are signs you can look out for. Signs that suggest you love each other a lot, but maybe, just maybe, you weren’t meant to be together.

In this article, I’ll share with you 10 signs that might indicate you’re in love with the right person at the wrong time. Remember, these signs don’t mean the end of the world – they’re just guideposts to help you navigate your love life.

1) Constant compromise

Relationships involve give and take. A little compromise here, a bit of sacrifice there – it’s part and parcel of being in love. But what happens when you’re always the one bending over backwards?

When compromise becomes a one-way street, it’s a sign that something’s amiss. Love should balance out, with both parties making efforts to meet halfway.

If you find yourself constantly adjusting your needs, wants, or desires to accommodate your partner, it might be time to rethink things. It’s not about tallying scores, but about mutual respect and consideration.

Love is about growing together, not losing yourself in the process. And while you might love each other a lot, constant compromise could be an indication that perhaps you just weren’t meant to be.

2) You feel like a square peg in a round hole

You know, I’ve been there. I once dated someone who was absolutely wonderful. They were kind, caring, and we shared a deep love for each other. But as time went on, I realized that we were fundamentally different.

We valued different things, our life goals didn’t align, and it felt like I was trying to fit into a life that wasn’t mine. I was a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. It was love, no doubt, but it just didn’t feel… right.

While opposites do attract, there’s a limit to how far that can go. If you constantly feel out of place or misunderstood despite all the love you share, it could be a sign you weren’t meant to be. Being in love should feel like coming home, not like trying to squeeze into someone else’s version of life.

3) You’re happier apart than together

Love is supposed to make you feel good, right? But what if you notice that you’re happier when you’re not together? According to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, individuals who experience frequent, severe conflicts in their relationships reported lower levels of happiness and self-esteem.

If you find yourself feeling more relaxed, more at ease, or just generally happier when you’re not with your partner, despite the love you have for each other, it’s a sign that something is off. Love should enhance your happiness, not lessen it. It could be an indication that while there’s love, you might not be meant for each other.

4) The future feels uncertain

When you’re in a relationship that’s meant to be, you can usually picture a future together. You see the other person in your plans, in your dreams, and in your everyday life years down the line.

But if you struggle to imagine a future with your partner, despite how much you love each other now, it could be a sign that something’s not quite right.

It’s normal to have doubts and fears about the future, but if the thought of building a life together feels more like an uphill struggle than an exciting adventure, it might be a sign that you just weren’t meant to be.

5) More effort than ease

Every relationship requires effort. It takes work to build understanding, foster communication, and maintain the spark. But there’s a difference between a healthy amount of effort and feeling like you’re always swimming against the tide.

If your relationship feels more like hard work than harmony, it might be a signal that something isn’t quite right. When love becomes more about struggle than joy, more about arguing than understanding, and more about tension than tenderness, it could be a sign that you love each other a lot, but you just weren’t meant to be.

Remember, while love isn’t always easy, it shouldn’t feel like constant hard work either.

6) You’re not growing together

Love isn’t just about shared moments, laughter, and affection. It’s also about growing together, about evolving as individuals and as a couple. It’s about becoming the best versions of yourselves, both for each other and with each other.

But if you notice that you’re growing apart instead of growing together, it can be quite heartbreaking. If your paths seem to diverge more than they converge, despite all the love you share, it’s a sign that something isn’t quite right.

Remember, love is a journey that two people take together. It’s about sharing dreams, goals, and personal growth. If that’s missing in your relationship, it could be an indication that you love each other a lot, but you just weren’t meant to be.

7) You feel lonely in their company

Once, I was sitting across from someone I loved deeply. We were in a crowded room, but it felt like we were the only two people there. And yet, despite being physically close, I felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness.

Feeling alone when you’re with someone is an odd thing. You’re supposed to feel connected, understood, and loved. But if you often feel lonely even when you’re together, it’s a sign that you may not be connecting on a deeper level.

Love is about more than just being together. It’s about feeling seen, heard, and valued. If you’re not getting that from your relationship, despite loving each other dearly, it could be a sign that you just weren’t meant to be.

8) You’re more in love with the idea than the reality

Sometimes, we fall in love with the idea of a person rather than who they truly are. We adore the image we’ve created in our minds – the perfect partner, the flawless relationship. But reality can be starkly different.

If you find yourself constantly trying to reconcile the person in front of you with the idealized version in your mind, it’s a sign that something is off. Despite your deep love, if you’re always hoping for them to change or be different, it could indicate that you just weren’t meant to be.

Remember, love is about accepting someone for who they are, not who you want them to be.

9) You keep secrets from each other

Trust and openness form the backbone of any loving relationship. When you love someone deeply, you should be able to share your thoughts, fears, dreams, and even embarrassing moments with them.

However, if you find yourself holding back or keeping secrets from your partner, it’s a red flag. Despite your love for each other, if there’s a lack of trust or if you’re not comfortable being completely open with one another, it could be a sign that you just weren’t meant to be.

Remember, love thrives on honesty and transparency. If those are missing in your relationship, it could be a sign of deeper issues.

10) Your gut feeling says so

Sometimes, despite all the signs and signals, it comes down to your intuition. There’s a voice inside of you, a gut feeling that tells you something isn’t right. It’s easy to ignore, especially when you’re in love. But often, your intuition knows things before your mind does.

If your gut feeling is telling you that you and your partner just aren’t meant to be, despite all the love you share, it’s worth paying attention to. It’s not always easy to listen to that voice, but it’s there for a reason.

Remember, your intuition is a powerful tool. Trust it. It might just be trying to tell you something important about your relationship.

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