10 things in life you should always keep private (if you want to maintain your reputation)

by Tina Fey | May 3, 2025, 2:07 pm

There’s a fine line between being an open book and oversharing.

The difference? Simply put, it’s discretion. Revealing too much can harm your reputation, while keeping certain things private maintains it.

In life, it’s crucial to discern what should be kept under wraps – not because you’re hiding, but because some information is best left undisclosed.

Here are 10 things you should always keep private if you want to safeguard your reputation.

This is your guide for what not to spill in your quest for openness. Let’s dive right in.

1) Personal grievances

We all have those moments when someone or something gets under our skin. It’s part of being human.

While it’s essential to express your feelings and not bottle them up, there’s a time and place for everything. Publicly airing your personal grievances, especially on social media platforms, can create a negative image of you.

Remember, it’s not about being fake or inauthentic – it’s about choosing the right audience for your complaints. You might feel better venting to a trusted friend or family member rather than ranting for the world to see.

And when it comes to the workplace, airing frustrations about colleagues or clients can be a quick way to lose respect and trust.

2) Financial details

Money matters are a biggie on the privacy list. I learned this the hard way.

I remember a time when I casually mentioned my salary during a casual conversation with friends. The next thing I knew, I was dealing with uncomfortable questions, unnecessary comparisons, and a lot of awkward silences.

You see, people have different financial situations, and discussing yours can lead to unnecessary judgments and comparisons. It can also cause envy or resentment among friends or family members.

Ever since that incident, I realized that keeping my financial details to myself helps avoid awkwardness and maintains harmony in my relationships.

3) Past mistakes

We all have a past, and it’s often filled with mistakes – big and small. It’s not about being deceptive or dishonest, but about understanding the implications of sharing your errors.

Here’s something to consider – a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people are more likely to remember negative information about others than positive information.

While it’s essential to acknowledge and learn from our mistakes, they don’t define us. Sharing them freely, especially those that don’t serve a purpose in the present, can lead to unnecessary judgment.

Maintain a good reputation by keeping your past mistakes to yourself unless revealing them serves a specific purpose or contributes positively to your present.

4) Love life details

Romantic relationships can be a whirlwind of emotions, and it’s natural to want to share your experiences, both good and bad. However, divulging too much about your love life can lead to gossip, misunderstandings, and even damage your relationships.

The complexities of the heart are personal and deeply intimate. Sharing these intricacies with others may lead to unwanted advice, comparisons or even judgments.

Respecting the privacy of your relationship not only preserves its sanctity but also helps maintain your reputation. After all, some stories are best kept between two hearts.

5) Family issues

Every family has its share of issues and conflicts. They’re a normal part of life. But sharing these issues publicly can lead to unnecessary drama and scrutiny that can harm your reputation.

Family issues are sensitive and personal. Discussing them openly can cause discomfort to those involved and may even escalate the situation further.

Moreover, airing out family laundry can change people’s perception of you and your family.

Keep family matters within the family. It’s a sign of respect and maturity, and it helps maintain your reputation.

6) Personal life goals

We all have dreams and aspirations that we hold close to our hearts. These personal life goals are often the driving force behind our actions and decisions.

While it’s important to have people to share your aspirations with, broadcasting them to the world can sometimes do more harm than good. It may invite unsolicited advice, criticism, or even skepticism from others.

Moreover, there’s something incredibly special and intimate about nurturing your dreams within you. It allows you to develop self-belief and determination without the noise of external influences.

Keep your personal life goals private. Let them be your secret source of inspiration and motivation. When the time is right, let your achievements speak for themselves.

7) Medical history

I remember when I had to undergo a minor surgery. While it wasn’t life-threatening, it was something I was nervous about. I chose to keep it to myself until after the procedure was done, and I was glad I did.

Your medical history is a deeply personal matter. Disclosing it can lead to others viewing or treating you differently based on your health conditions or past illnesses. It can also invite unwanted advice or comments that can add stress.

Your health is your business. So, unless necessary, keep your medical history private to maintain your peace of mind and reputation.

8) Good deeds

Helping others and doing good deeds is a wonderful thing. Yet, publicizing these acts can sometimes shift the focus from the deed itself to seeking recognition.

People often respect those who do good quietly because it shows their actions are driven by genuine kindness, not by the desire for applause or attention.

Rather than announcing your good deeds, let them remain your silent gifts to the world. It’s a unique way to maintain your reputation while spreading positivity.

9) Personal beliefs

We live in a diverse world, and we all hold unique beliefs, be they political, religious, or philosophical. While it’s important to stand by your convictions, sharing them openly can sometimes lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, or even damage your reputation.

Discussing beliefs can often become heated and polarizing. It’s challenging to change someone’s deeply ingrained beliefs, and trying to do so can strain relationships.

Respecting other people’s beliefs while keeping yours private can help maintain a peaceful environment and protect your reputation. Remember, your actions should define you more than your beliefs.

10) Your secrets

The most personal pieces of our lives are often our secrets. These are things that we choose to keep to ourselves for various reasons – be it to protect ourselves or others, or simply because we’re not ready to share them.

Revealing your secrets can make you vulnerable and open to judgments, criticisms or even betrayals.

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