9 little-known psychological tricks to catch out a liar

by Tina Fey | March 4, 2024, 12:25 pm

Let’s face it, we all tell a fib now and then. But what happens when you’re on the receiving end of a lie? How do you spot it?

Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s not as tricky as you think! With a bit of knowledge about human psychology, you can become a pro at catching out a liar.

There are certain little-known psychological tricks that can help you see right through someone’s falsehood. And no, it’s not about becoming a human lie detector, but about understanding the subtle signs people often exhibit when they’re not telling the truth.

1) Inconsistencies in their story

Lies are difficult to maintain. Why? Because they’re not rooted in reality – they’re fabrications, fictions, figments of imagination. And for a liar to keep up with their own lies, they need to have a memory sharper than a steel trap.

Now, this doesn’t mean that every time someone forgets a detail they’re lying. But if their narrative seems to change every time they tell it, or if they’re constantly contradicting themselves, you may want to take note.

In psychology, this is often referred to as the “cognitive load” of lying. The brain has to work harder to come up with and remember a lie than it does to simply recall the truth.

So, if you suspect someone is trying to pull the wool over your eyes, pay close attention to their story. Is it consistent? Does it stay the same over time? If not, you might be dealing with a liar.

2) Unusual body language

Here’s something I’ve personally noticed – when people lie, their body language often gives them away. The psychological stress of lying can trigger some pretty telling physical responses.

I remember once, I had a friend who always seemed to avoid eye contact whenever he was telling a tall tale. It was as if he was trying to look everywhere but at me. It wasn’t a guaranteed sign of dishonesty, but it did raise my suspicions.

In another instance, a former colleague would often touch her nose or cover her mouth while lying. It was subtle, but once I noticed the pattern, it became a clear tell.

3) Overly detailed stories

When people lie, they often feel the need to make their story more convincing by adding unnecessary details. This happens because they believe the more information they provide, the more believable their lie will be.

A study from the University of Sussex found that liars often provide more details than necessary in an attempt to appear truthful. They may describe the color of a car, the weather on that day or irrelevant conversations they had.

However, these excessive details can actually serve as a red flag. If someone’s story seems too intricate or detailed for a casual conversation, it might be worth scrutinizing a bit more.

4) Changes in speech patterns

Just like body language, the way people speak can also give away their deceit. Changes in speech patterns can be a significant indicator that someone isn’t being entirely honest with you.

For instance, a person who is lying might start to speak more quickly or slowly than usual. This could be because they’re trying to think of the lie as they go along or because they’re attempting to control their nervousness.

Additionally, a liar might start using more complex sentence structures or unnecessary jargon. They might also avoid using personal pronouns like “I” or “we”, as a subconscious way of distancing themselves from the lie.

So, if you notice that someone’s speech is suddenly peppered with complexity or changes in speed, take note. It could be an attempt to mask the truth.

5) Emotional incongruence

Here’s where the power of empathy and observation comes in. When people lie, there’s often an emotional mismatch between what they’re saying and how they’re feeling. This is known as emotional incongruence.

For instance, if someone claims they’re thrilled about a recent promotion but their voice lacks enthusiasm or their facial expressions don’t match the joy they should be feeling, this might be a sign of dishonesty.

Similarly, if someone is telling a sad story but their expressions seem forced or they’re struggling to show genuine sorrow, you might want to think twice about the truthfulness of their narrative.

6) They react defensively to questioning

We all value honesty in our relationships, whether they’re friendships, family ties or romantic partnerships. It’s the glue that holds us together, nurturing trust and mutual respect. But what happens when that honesty seems to falter?

I’ve found that when people are lying, they often react defensively if their narrative is questioned. Instead of addressing your doubts or concerns with understanding, they may become hostile or overly argumentative.

This isn’t about a casual disagreement or a spirited debate. No, it’s about a sudden shift in demeanor – an unexpected wall going up when simple, honest clarification is sought.

If you’ve ever experienced this, you know how disheartening it can be. It’s like a storm cloud suddenly obscuring the sun on a clear day.

7) Delayed responses

Sometimes, it’s the silence that speaks louder than words. I remember a time when I was trying to get to the bottom of a situation. I asked a simple question, but the response took longer than expected. It was like time stood still, and the silence hung heavy between us.

This delay wasn’t about collecting thoughts or being thoughtful in response. It was more like a pause to fabricate a story that would be palatable. The moment stretched on, and in that silence, I could almost hear the gears turning, the lie being crafted.

Delayed responses can be a telltale sign of dishonesty, as it often means the person is taking extra time to come up with a believable lie. So next time you’re in conversation and there’s an unusual pause before an answer, take note.

8) Offering unsolicited reassurances

Ever had a conversation where someone keeps reassuring you even when you haven’t expressed any doubts? Like, “I swear on my mother’s life,” or “I promise you, I’m telling the truth.”

These unsolicited reassurances can sometimes be a sign of deception. It’s as if the person is trying to convince themselves just as much as they’re trying to convince you.

The psychology behind this is quite fascinating. It’s almost like they’re overcompensating for their lie by showering you with assurances.

However, this isn’t a foolproof method to catch out a liar. Some people are just naturally more expressive and emphatic in their speech. But if these reassurances start feeling forced or excessive, it might be time to question their authenticity.

9) Trust your intuition

At the end of the day, your gut instinct can be one of the most powerful tools in detecting dishonesty. We are all equipped with a primal sense of intuition that can often guide us towards the truth.

Our subconscious picks up on signals and patterns that our conscious mind may overlook. So if something doesn’t feel right, if a person’s words or actions are causing a disquiet in your gut, listen to it.

This isn’t about jumping to conclusions or making unfounded accusations. It’s about staying attuned to your own internal compass and giving it the attention it deserves. After all, intuition is just another form of knowledge, honed by years of human evolution and personal experience. Trust it.

Final thoughts: Honesty is in our nature

At the core of our being, humans are social creatures wired for honesty and trust. This innate tendency towards truth is what allows us to function in complex societies, build relationships, and cooperate with each other.

Despite this, lies do find their way into our lives. But just as our brain has the capacity to fabricate falsehoods, it also has the ability to detect them. Each subtle inconsistency in a story, a shift in body language or tone of voice, the overuse of reassurances – they all set off alarms in our intuitive minds.

The nine psychological tricks we’ve discussed aren’t foolproof lie detectors. They’re tools to enhance your awareness, to nudge your intuition, to make you a better observer of human behavior.

So next time you feel deceived, trust your instincts, observe carefully and remember these insights. You may find that the truth isn’t as elusive as it seems.

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