9 things in life that don’t actually matter in the long run, according to psychology

by Tina Fey | January 21, 2025, 8:59 pm

We often obsess over things that, in the grand scheme of life, don’t matter much at all. From the latest phone model to the hottest fashion trend, we sometimes let the unimportant take up too much space in our minds.

Now, I don’t claim to know everything, but according to psychology, there are quite a few things we stress over that won’t mean much in the long run. No, seriously.

Let’s take a deep breath, relax, and dive into this list of 9 things in life that don’t actually matter in the long run.

1) The pursuit of perfection

We’ve all been there. The endless chase for the perfect body, the perfect job, the perfect house, or even the perfect partner. Society has set such high standards that we often get caught up in the unrealistic pursuit of perfection.

But here’s what psychology has to say about it.

Perfection, according to psychologists, is an illusion. It’s a never-ending chase that leads to stress, anxiety, and often disappointment. Because no matter how hard we try, there will always be something more to achieve or an area to improve.

In the grand scheme of things, this pursuit doesn’t matter much. Life is full of flaws and imperfections, and that’s what makes it beautiful and worth living. So why not embrace them?

2) Social media validation

Now, I’m going to get personal here. I used to be hooked on social media. Posting every minute detail of my day, waiting for the likes and comments to roll in. The validation from those heart reacts and thumbs-ups meant the world to me.

But then one day, I took a step back and asked myself – why? Why was I so dependent on validation from people who were essentially strangers?

Psychology tells us that this obsession with social media approval is not healthy. In fact, it doesn’t contribute to long-term happiness or self-esteem.

In the end, it’s your own opinion of yourself that matters. The likes, comments, shares – they don’t define your worth or happiness in the long run. Trust me, I’ve been there and can vouch for it!

3) Material possessions

It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of consumerism. Everyone seems to be flaunting their latest gadgets, luxury cars, and designer clothes. But does owning all these things truly lead to happiness?

Interestingly, a study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that materialistic people are often less happy and more prone to depression and anxiety. The constant craving for more can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and a never-ending cycle of wanting.

In the long run, it’s the experiences we have and the relationships we build that truly matter. These are the things that enrich our lives and create lasting joy. So, save your energy for what really counts!

4) Holding grudges

It’s natural to feel hurt and upset when someone wrongs us. Sometimes, we hold on to these feelings for too long, turning them into grudges. We believe that holding a grudge is a form of self-protection, ensuring that we won’t be hurt in the same way again.

But according to psychology, holding onto resentment and anger can actually do more harm than good. It keeps us stuck in the past and prevents us from moving forward.

In the long run, these grudges don’t matter. What matters is our ability to forgive, learn from our experiences, and continue growing. So if you’re holding on to a grudge, consider letting it go. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it for your peace of mind.

5) Conforming to societal norms

From a young age, we’re taught to follow certain rules and norms set by society. We’re expected to get a good education, land a stable job, get married, have children – the list goes on. It’s as if our lives are laid out in a predetermined template.

But here’s the thing. Everyone’s journey is unique. What works for one person might not work for another. Following societal norms blindly can lead to dissatisfaction and a sense of losing one’s individuality.

Psychology suggests that in the long run, these societal expectations don’t really matter. What truly matters is that you live your life according to your own values and aspirations. So don’t be afraid to break some rules and carve your own path. Your future self will thank you for it!

6) Regrets and past mistakes

We’ve all made mistakes. Some small, some big, some that keep us awake at night. It’s part of being human.

Living with regret can be a heavy burden. We dwell on what could have been, thinking about the paths not taken or the opportunities lost. But here’s a heartfelt reminder – your past does not define you.

Psychology tells us that our mistakes and regrets can serve as valuable life lessons. They’re stepping stones to growth and self-improvement.

In the long run, it’s not the mistakes that matter, but how we choose to learn from them. So let’s forgive ourselves, leave the past in the past and focus on making the most of the present. Because ultimately, that’s all we have control over.

7) Fear of change

I used to be terrified of change. The idea of stepping out of my comfort zone and embracing something new was daunting. I held onto the familiar, even when it didn’t serve me well.

But here’s the reality check. Change is an inevitable part of life. It’s a sign of growth and evolution.

Psychology shows us that fear of change can hold us back from reaching our potential. We get stuck in a cycle of complacency, missing out on new experiences and opportunities.

In the long run, this fear doesn’t matter. Change is going to happen whether we like it or not. So we might as well embrace it, and who knows? It might lead to something amazing.

8) The need to always be right

We’ve all encountered people who have an insatiable need to be right, and maybe sometimes, we’ve been those people. This can often lead to conflicts and strained relationships.

According to psychology, the constant need to prove oneself right stems from insecurity and a deep-seated fear of being seen as incompetent or weak. But here’s the truth – it’s okay to be wrong. In fact, it’s perfectly human.

In the long run, being wrong and admitting it shows character, humility, and a willingness to learn. It doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong in an argument. What truly matters is the ability to listen, understand, and respect different perspectives. So say goodbye to that constant need to be right – your relationships will thank you for it!

9) Other people’s opinions

Let’s face it, we often worry about what others think of us. We may find ourselves making decisions based on other people’s opinions rather than our own desires or needs.

But here’s a crucial fact. You are the author of your own life. The only opinion that truly matters is your own.

Giving too much weight to the opinions of others can be draining and can steer you away from your authentic self. Remember, at the end of the day, it’s your life to live, not theirs. So stay true to yourself and let go of the need for outside validation. It won’t matter in the long run.

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