12 bad habits that are sabotaging your relationships

Bad habits: we all have them, but not all of them have the same impact. 

When it comes to relationships, certain bad habits can spell real trouble. 

You might not even realize you’re doing something that’s pushing people away, making them less likely to trust you or invest in a relationship with you. 

Why should you care? 

Because these habits can stand in the way creating healthy, fulfilling relationships.

So, without further ado, here are 12 bad habits to watch out for: 

1) Avoiding difficult conversations

We’ve all been there: a topic makes us uncomfortable, so we sweep it under the rug, hoping it’ll vanish.

But, in relationships, avoiding those hard chats does more harm than good. Trust me, I’ve learned this the hard way. 

What’s important is to approach these conversations with empathy and an open heart. 

The truth is not every discussion will be pleasant, but avoiding them altogether can strain the bond you’ve built with your partner. 

My advice? Face them head-on. Your relationship will thank you for it.

2) Not making time

In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day tasks and forget about nurturing our relationships. 

Think of the dishes, deadlines, and chores—they all seem pressing. But remember, relationships need time and attention just like any other living thing.

No one expects you to forgo your responsibilities. 

But, it’s essential to carve out moments for your partner. 

It can start with as simple as a ten-minute chat over coffee or planning a date night. Prioritize them. They deserve it, and so do you.

3) Taking your partner for granted

Have you ever believed that no matter how you behave, your partner is stuck with you?

Let me break it down for you: That’s not love; that’s complacency.

When we become familiar with someone, there’s a dangerous tendency to assume they’ll always be there, no matter what. 

But never forget – every day is an opportunity to show your partner appreciation. 

A thank you for a small gesture, a compliment, or simply being present can make all the difference. 

4) Poor communication skills

We’ve all heard it—communication is key. 

But how many of us genuinely practice it? 

There were times when I’d bottle up my feelings, only to let them explode later and that’s neither healthy nor fair to our partners.

Next time you feel upset or frustrated, remember that it’s okay to feel that way. 

But rather than letting emotions simmer, express them.

In essence, talk to your partner and share your feelings, allowing them to do the same.

Listen actively and you’ll realize your bond will grow stronger with every honest conversation.

5) Comparing your relationship to others

In this age of social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing our own lives to the highlight reels of others. 

I’ve found myself envying couples on Instagram or friends who seem to have the “perfect” relationship. 

But such comparison is a slippery slope that can lead to unnecessary resentment and insecurity in our relationships.

The truth is, that every relationship has its ups and downs and what’s shown publicly rarely depicts the entire story. 

Why not focus on nurturing and understanding your own relationship dynamics instead of comparing it to others?

Your love story is unique, and that’s what makes it special.

6) Holding onto grudges

It’s human to get hurt and feel wronged at times.

We tend to cling to these grudges and past mistakes, and as a result, it can erode the trust and intimacy in a relationship. 

Talk about your feelings, understand each other’s perspectives, and aim to move forward together. 

At the cost of sounding cheesy, love thrives in understanding and forgiveness.

Remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning negative behavior, but it means choosing peace over resentment. 

7) Neglecting self-care

It might seem counterintuitive, but neglecting our own well-being can negatively impact our relationships. 

You can’t pour from an empty cup, that’s why taking care of yourself, mentally and physically, allows you to bring your best self to the relationship. 

After all, taking care of yourself not only strengthens the bond with your partner but also enhances your own happiness and fulfillment.

In other words, feeling better with yourself makes you feel better with your partner and those around you.

8) Setting unrealistic expectations

It’s not uncommon for us to envision an idealized version of a relationship. 

Relationships require:

• Work
• Understanding
• Compromise

Instead of seeking perfection, focus on building mutual respect, trust, and understanding. 

After all, placing unrealistic expectations on your partner and your relationship, like mirroring a romantic movie, can set you both up for disappointment and heartache.

9) Being overly critical

We all have our quirks and imperfections. 

I’ve learned that continuously pointing out the negatives can overshadow all the positives. In my opinion, it sounds a bit arrogant, as if we ourselves don’t have flaws.

I humbly recommend that you choose your battles wisely.

Constantly nitpicking or focusing on your partner’s flaws can erode their self-esteem and the overall happiness of the relationship. 

While it’s crucial to address significant concerns, avoid magnifying small annoyances into major issues.

10) Becoming too independent

I’ve found that being overly independent, to the point of excluding your partner from decisions or experiences, can create feelings of isolation and disconnect.

Don’t forget a relationship is a partnership. 

It’s essential to strike a balance between maintaining your individuality and fostering a shared life together so involve your partner in your decisions, experiences, and emotions.

Grow both as individuals and as a couple.

11) Ignoring physical intimacy

A relationship is far more than just a physical connection. 

It’s not just about sex but about touch, closeness, and shared vulnerability but I’ve realized that simple gestures like holding hands or a hug can work wonders.

You see, neglecting intimacy can lead to feelings of distance and disconnection. 

On the other hand, intimacy helps strengthen the emotional bond between partners. 

Make it a point to stay connected, not just emotionally but also physically. 

12) Keeping score

It’s tempting to keep a mental tally of everything you’ve done for your partner versus what they’ve done for you. 

I mistakenly thought it was a way to ensure fairness. But relationships aren’t a game so keeping score only breeds resentment and competition.

Consider instead, focusing on mutual love, respect, and support. 

Try to give without always expecting in return, and recognize the value of emotional reciprocity over a point-based system.

In conclusion, it’s essential to realize that relationships are a continuous journey of growth, understanding, and love. 

While it’s natural to fall into these habits, recognizing and actively addressing them is the mark of a strong, mature relationship. 

Love is a two-way street, and both partners need to be committed to making it work. 

With mutual respect, understanding, and consistent efforts, you can navigate through any challenges that come your way.