11 behaviors that make you seem less intelligent (but are easy to stop)

There’s this generally held belief that intelligence is innate – something you’re either born with or not, like having blue eyes or a knack for playing the piano.

So when you’re not on the receiving end of that genetic lottery, well, tough luck, right?

But that’s not true. Intelligence is much more nuanced than that.

Intelligence is about awareness. It’s about understanding how your habits and behaviors can impact how you’re perceived.

It’s about acknowledging that what’s inside your head isn’t the only thing that matters – you should be socially aware, respect those around you, and refrain from saying things you shouldn’t be talking about in the first place.

Here are 11 behaviors that make you seem less intelligent, but are easy to stop: 

1) Speaking Before Thinking

If you want to appear more intelligent, it’s crucial to stop the habit of blurting out words before thinking about their depth, meaning, and implications.

I understand you just want to contribute to the conversation; however, people might question your judgment when you habitually interrupt with comments that seem off-point, disconnected, or straight-up unhelpful.

At work, it can make you seem unreliable. In your personal life, you might come across as inconsiderate.

So let’s take a step back and think about how this behavior might be playing out in your life.

Are you often the first to speak in a meeting or social gathering?

Do you often regret something you said because it wasn’t thought out?

Are you awake at night thinking “I wish I hadn’t said that”?

From there, recall how people reacted or treated you afterwards. How could you have done better?

A good piece of advice that has worked well for me is to try to take a deep breath before you speak, giving your thoughts a moment to form properly. 

When you give your thoughts a moment to shape up, your words can be more insightful and meaningful.

2) Using Slang, Profanity, and Filler Words Excessively

Slang, while it can help you connect informally with certain groups, can create a barrier.

It can be unprofessional or alienating to those unfamiliar with the language.

On the other hand, profanity is generally considered crude and disrespectful.

Excessive profanity can also signal a lack of vocabulary or control over your emotions.

Meanwhile, filler words – such as “uh”, “like”, and “you know” – can disrupt the flow of your thoughts and communication.

They clutter your speech, making it harder for others to understand and appreciate your ideas.

You might also give the impression of lacking confidence, diminishing the perceived value of your words.

Years ago, I sat through a keynote speech about the intricacies of rocket science.

My anticipation was high, but the delivery fell flat. The scientist’s speech was peppered with so many “likes” which made his fascinating topic as compelling as a lecture watching paint dry.

His overuse of filler words diluted the impact of his expertise.

3) Laughing Inappropriately or at the Wrong Times

Granted, laughter is a universal language of joy, it can undermine the perception of your emotional intelligence.

When we laugh during the wrong times – including serious discussions or solemn occasions – the people around us might think that we lack empathy or don’t understand the gravity of the situation.

This results in mistrust and discomfort in our relationships.

I’m not saying you should turn into a humorless robot. Laughter is great. But timing, as they say, is everything. Not every situation calls for a belly laugh.

The next time you feel an ill-timed chuckle coming in, bite your slip, and your reputation will thank you for it.

4) Being Unaware of Current Events

Think about it. If someone starts talking about the recent election results or a groundbreaking new scientific discovery, and you’re staring back with a blank look – it’s not exactly a great look, is it?

Remaining oblivious to current events is another behavior that can make others think you’re not as intelligent as they thought.

In a constantly evolving world, staying updated with the latest developments – be it global, national, or even in your own community – isn’t just a measure of general social awareness, but also a sign of how involved you are with the bigger conversation.

Find a handful of reliable sources. It’s time to get in the know.

5) Monopolizing Conversations

You can’t have meaningful relationships if you don’t have meaningful conversations.

That said, when you monopolize conversations, you not only disrupt the natural give-and-take of dialogue, but you also risk coming off as self-centered and lacking in social intelligence.

I was quite the late bloomer. Back when I was a little less socially adept, I was the person who would talk your ear off about anything and everything.

I was uncomfortable with silence. I thought if I kept talking, I’d come across as intelligent and interesting. Spoiler alert: I was wrong.

I came off as self-absorbed. It took a few cringe-worthy moments and more than one impatient eye-roll before I got the memo.

I realized that being smart isn’t about how much you can talk; it’s about how well you can listen.

6) Poor Body Language

You never get a second chance at a first impression.

Believe it or not, our words aren’t the only ones doing the heavy lifting.

Other factors that contribute significantly to impressions include the way we carry ourselves, the gestures we make, and the expressions we wear on our faces.

Poor body language can chip away at the perception of our intelligence, no matter how smart we might be.

Some examples of poor body language are slouching, avoiding eye contact, and crossing your arms defensively.

When you do these things, you’re not just “looking” less intelligent, you’re also showing that you’re unsure of yourself – even if you feel otherwise.

7) Oversharing Personal Information

There’s a fine line between being open and oversharing – and it’s a line that’s easy to cross.

When you share too much personal information, particularly in inappropriate settings or with people you don’t know well, it can make the other party uncomfortable.

You’ll project an image of poor judgement or a lack of social intelligence.

It can even come across as a desperate attempt for attention or sympathy.

Being more aware of what, when, and with whom you share personal stories can drastically improve your social interactions.

You don’t always have to wear your heart on your sleeve. Be mindful. You might think you’re just being your authentic self, but you’re failing to take into consideration the comfort and boundaries of others.

Learn how to respect not just your own experiences but also space (not just in the physical sense).

8) Procrastinating

“Walking the talk” is a trait that’s often associated with intelligence.

When you procrastinate regularly, especially with work, your co-workers might think that you don’t know how to commit or that you’re incompetent.

You might even be the reason for missed deadlines, rushed work, or unfulfilled promises.

I remember a project early in my career that I was spearheading.

The deadline seemed comfortably far away, and I kept putting off starting the work, assuring myself that I had ample time.

As the days rolled into weeks, I started panicking; I threw myself into the work, spending sleepless nights and overtime hours trying to meet the deadline.

The project was completed, but the quality was not up to par, and my superiors noticed.

While I beat myself up for not meeting expectations, I realized that my habit of procrastination was not just causing me stress but also affecting how others perceived my capabilities.

So I started breaking down tasks into smaller parts, setting internal deadlines, and most importantly, worked on what I needed to do instead of waiting for the “right” moment or the last minute.

9) Being Negative and Complaining Frequently

As cheesy as this sounds, negativity is like a dark cloud that can overshadow the brightest of minds.

When you frequently complain or exude bad vibes, you’re casting yourself in a less favorable light and thus make others think that you’re not that intelligent.

You’ll seem like the type of person that’s more interested in dwelling on problems than finding solutions.

If you find yourself constantly complaining, it’s high time for an attitude adjustment.

Challenge yourself to find a silver lining or a potential solution. This change, of course, won’t happen overnight.

It takes time and effort to go from being a habitual complainer to an active problem-solver.

10) Rarely Admitting You’re Wrong

Imagine you’re at a party, and you confidently state that Asia is the smallest continent.

Someone else chimes in and points out that actually, Australia is the smallest continent.

But instead of admitting your mistake, you double down – now everyone hears your little argument, and things get awkward.

You’re not a know-it-all. You’re not perfect. You have shortcomings and mistakes that you should own up to unless you want to seem stubborn, egotistic, and lacking self-awareness.

Accept that you’re not always going to be right and there’s nothing wrong with that.

When you apologize properly, you’ll come off as more mature, more likable, and yes, more intelligent.

11) Being Dismissive of Other Cultures or Traditions

Cultural intelligence is as essential as intellectual and emotional intelligence.

When you’re dismissive of other cultures and traditions, you might just be uncultured and refuse to see that there’s a world beyond you and what you’ve known. This isn’t just a matter of political awareness.

It’s about respect and wanting to connect with diverse individuals or ideas.

During a trip abroad, I found myself dismissing a local religious ritual as “primitive”. Yeah, I know, I was insensitive.

My attitude not only offended my hosts, but it also made me look ignorant, narrow-minded, and honestly, stupid.

Please learn from my screw-up. The next time you encounter a cultural practice that’s different from yours, ask – understand – respect. The world is so much bigger than you.