7 behaviors of people who navigate their midlife crisis successfully

For many people, the term “midlife crisis” conjures images of impulsive decisions, from buying flashy sports cars to making dramatic career shifts.

Midlife can indeed be a turbulent time filled with self-reflection, doubt, and the looming question: “Is this all there is?”

But a midlife crisis doesn’t have to be a crisis at all. I’ve been there myself, but I made it through the proverbial tunnel with the right behaviors and mindset. 

If you’re going through one yourself and need some inspiration, you’re in the right place. Here’s a peek into 7 behaviors of people who navigated a midlife crisis successfully:

1) Embracing change

Let’s consider our lives right now. As the years have passed, each one has brought about changes, both small and significant.

Our hair might be graying, our career paths might have taken unexpected turns, and the dreams we once had may have evolved into something entirely different.

Being in midlife necessitates the acceptance that change is inevitable. It’s an essential part of our existence.

The key is to relinquish the illusion of stability that comes from resisting change. It doesn’t work that way.

Our actions and reactions to these changes are what truly shape our reality, and they are most impactful when they happen naturally. When we adapt instinctively.

If we can learn how to embrace change, the struggle won’t be so difficult. We’ll be able to let go of the need to control every aspect of our lives.

2) Failure is not a dead end

This realization dawned on me during one of my darkest times, when seemingly everything was going wrong.

The popular advice often tells us to “always aim for success” or “avoid failure at all costs”. While this is often preached in our achievement-oriented society, it’s not the whole truth.

Instead, the true understanding comes from recognizing failure as a part of the journey. It comes from observing our failures.

How exactly do you do that? With a non-judgmental eye.

Look at your failures, but don’t judge them. Don’t avoid them, don’t suppress them, and don’t intervene at all on your part. Just be an observer, and wait for the enlightenment.

As you observe, slowly your life becomes less cluttered with failures. But you aren’t becoming complacent, you’re just becoming more alert, more resilient.

When you try to “avoid failure” at all times, you give too much power to your fear of failure. You surrender your instinctive power of resilience.

Now, I give less power to my fear of failure. Sometimes I stumble and fall. Other times I’m faced with daunting challenges. I don’t let this deter me anymore.

3) They don’t rush to fix things

This may sound counterintuitive, but here’s what I’ve learned.

The urge to “fix everything” often stems from the belief that our lives are on a timer. But the fact is that our lives unfold at their own pace, not dictated by societal norms or expectations.

Let me clarify.

Think about nature right now. A flower blooms when it’s ready. The sun rises and sets in its own rhythm. Seasons change in their own time. While reading these words, you’ve taken a few breaths in your own natural rhythm.

If you’re going to navigate midlife successfully, it’s crucial to understand that you don’t have to fix everything immediately. You’re allowed to take time.

Let go of the illusion of urgency that comes from believing you need to have everything sorted out right now. That’s not how life works.

Your actions towards resolution are most powerful when they happen without forced haste. When you act patiently.

So take a deep breath. Trust that you will get past it because believe me, you will. 

4) Relationships matter more than achievements

I started this discussion by focusing on behaviors and attitudes.

The thing is, behaviors and attitudes also influence how we relate to people.

In my experience, during midlife, it’s easy to get caught up in personal achievements. We could become obsessed with reaching certain milestones, whether it be career advancement, financial security, or personal accomplishments.

Our intentions are good. We all want to create a stable and secure future for ourselves and our loved ones.

But when we get so engrossed in our personal achievements, we can slip into the habit of thinking our goals are more important than the relationships around us.

We can lose touch with friends. We may become irritable and possibly not such an enjoyable person to be around.

Real talk – How you treat people is what matters, not the achievements that shape your identity.

I speak more about the importance of relationships in my video exploring the midlife crisis. Watch it here:

5) They learn to accept themselves

This is a lesson I learned through my own midlife journey.

Growing up, I always strived for perfection. Whether in academics, sports, or my career, I was constantly pushing myself to achieve more. I thought that if I could just reach that next milestone or achieve that next goal, then I would finally be content.

But when I hit midlife, something shifted. The same strategies and behaviors that had served me well were no longer fulfilling. Despite my achievements, I felt a persistent sense of dissatisfaction.

I realized then that my relentless pursuit of perfection had made me lose sight of who I was. I was so focused on becoming a better version of myself that I hadn’t taken the time to truly accept and appreciate the person I already was.

I started to slow down and practice self-acceptance. It wasn’t easy at first, and it’s still a journey. But each day, as I learn to embrace my strengths and accept my flaws, I find myself more at peace with who I am.

Which brings me to my next point…

6) Self-care is critical

For those feeling overwhelmed by midlife changes, dedicating time for self-care can provide a sense of balance.

It’s a reminder that amidst all the external changes and pressures, it’s essential to look inward and cater to our physical, emotional, and mental well-being.

Prioritizing self-care encourages us to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion, which in turn can foster resilience and a positive outlook during this transitional phase.

7) They welcome uncertainty

Navigating through midlife successfully often involves an unexpected ally – uncertainty.

While we may spend our whole lives seeking certainty and stability, the truth is, life is inherently unpredictable. The illusion of certainty can sometimes rob us of the opportunity to grow, explore, and redefine ourselves.

During midlife, many aspects of our lives might seem uncertain – career paths, relationships, personal identities. However, this uncertainty isn’t something to be feared. Instead, it’s a space brimming with potential and possibilities.

Embracing uncertainty allows us to remain open, adaptable, and ready to seize new opportunities. It invites us to question our old beliefs and patterns, paving the way for personal growth and transformation.

It’s all about perspective.

Bottom line: It could be evolutionary

The complexities of human behavior and coping mechanisms often have profound links with our evolutionary history.

One such connection is the relationship between individuals navigating their midlife crisis successfully and the evolutionary concept of adaptability.

This concept plays a vital role in our responses to life’s challenges.

For those navigating their midlife crisis successfully, adaptability might be a decisive factor in their resilience. The ability to adjust to new conditions, embrace change, and learn from failures could potentially foster a sense of fulfillment and growth during this transitional phase.

As Charles Darwin once said, “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent; it is the one most adaptable to change.” This wisdom holds true for navigating midlife crises as well.