8 behaviors that make you seem less confident (but are easy to stop)

Ever feel like people don’t take you seriously? Or like you’re not being noticed?

We’ve all felt that way, and it’s not fun.

Confidence is something we all want, but sometimes, we do things that make us look less confident without even knowing it.

Think of confidence as a key. A key that can unlock new chances, make people think good things about you, and help you deal with life’s challenges.

But, you have to know how to use this key right. Little things that we do can make us look less confident, and it’s often these things we don’t notice.

But there’s good news! We can spot these things and stop them.

In this article, we’re going to talk about ten things you might be doing that make you look less confident.

We’ll also give you easy ways to stop doing these things. So, get ready to learn how to show the world a more confident you!

Remember, being confident doesn’t mean being someone else. It means being the best you that you can be.

Let’s get started!

1. Constantly Apologizing

We all know the importance of saying “sorry” when we’ve made a mistake.

But, have you ever noticed how often you apologize when you don’t really need to?

Maybe you’ve said sorry for asking a question, or for taking a little longer to do something.

Apologizing all the time can make you look less confident because it seems like you’re always assuming you’ve done something wrong.

It’s as if you’re always expecting to be in the way or to mess up, and that’s not a confident mindset.

The fix is simple: be mindful of when you’re saying “sorry.”

Is it for something you really need to apologize for? If not, skip the sorry.

Instead of saying, “Sorry, can I ask a question?” try saying, “I have a question.”

This small change can help you come across as more confident because you’re not always putting yourself in the wrong.

And remember, it’s okay to take up space, ask questions, and make mistakes.

That’s all part of being human!

2. Avoiding Eye Contact

Remember the last time you were talking to someone who wouldn’t look you in the eye?

It probably made you feel like they weren’t fully engaged or even that they were hiding something.

This is how important eye contact can be. It’s one of the primary ways we communicate confidence to others.

Now, I remember my first job interview. I was incredibly nervous and had a habit of looking down when I was anxious.

So, during the entire interview, I barely made eye contact with the interviewer.

Needless to say, I didn’t get the job. Later, when I asked for feedback, they told me I seemed “nervous and unsure.”

From that day, I realized the power of eye contact.

It can be uncomfortable, especially when you’re not used to it, but it makes a huge difference in how people perceive you.

The next time you’re speaking with someone, try to maintain eye contact.

It communicates that you’re engaged, honest, and confident.

But remember, there’s a balance. Too much eye contact can feel intense or aggressive. Aim for a comfortable middle ground where you’re holding eye contact most of the time, but also naturally breaking it off occasionally.

Related: 8 things confident introverts always do (but never talk about)

3. Speaking Too Quickly

When we’re nervous or unsure of ourselves, we often start to talk faster without even realizing it.

This quick pace can make it hard for others to follow along, and it can make you seem less confident.

It’s like your words are trying to keep up with a racing mind.

Do you remember being asked to read out loud in school?

The nerves would kick in, and before you knew it, you were racing through the text like a runaway train.

Your teacher might have told you to slow down and take your time. That advice still applies today.

Speaking slower allows you to articulate your thoughts more clearly and gives you time to breathe and think about what you want to say next.

It also shows that you believe what you’re saying is worth listening to.

The next time you find yourself in a conversation or giving a presentation, consciously try to slow down your speech.

A simple trick is to take a small pause after each point you make, almost like inserting a comma in your speech.

This habit might take some time to get used to, but over time, it’ll make you come across as more thoughtful, clear, and confident.

4. Hiding Behind Qualifiers

We all do it. We cushion our statements with words like “just,” “maybe,” “kind of,” or phrases like “I think,” or “It’s just my opinion, but…”.

These qualifiers, as they’re called, are a way for us to soften the blow of our words, to make our thoughts and ideas seem less direct, less assertive.

But here’s the raw truth: overusing qualifiers can make you seem less confident.

When you say, “I just think that we might want to consider another approach,” it sounds like you’re not quite sure of your idea, like you’re hesitant to put it out there fully.

It’s as if you’re apologizing for having an opinion or suggestion.

Now, I’m not saying you should never use qualifiers. They have their place. They can make our speech sound more polite or considerate.

But when you use them too much, especially when you’re expressing your ideas or making suggestions, they can dilute your message and make you seem less sure of yourself.

Here’s the hard part: starting to cut back on qualifiers takes a real honesty with yourself.

It means accepting that your thoughts and ideas are valuable and deserve to be heard as they are, without softening or minimizing.

So, the next time you catch yourself cushioning your words with qualifiers, try to resist the urge.

Let your thoughts stand on their own. You might find that people take you more seriously when you do.

Related: People who are truly authentic never fake these 8 things

5. Fidgeting

Think about it. When you see someone constantly shifting in their seat, twirling their hair, or tapping their foot, what’s your first impression?

Most likely, you think they’re nervous or anxious. Fidgeting is a clear body language sign that can make you appear less confident.

Fidgeting is often a physical manifestation of our internal nerves. We do it without thinking when we’re uncomfortable or anxious.

But it can distract others and take away from the message we’re trying to communicate.

Now, overcoming fidgeting isn’t easy; it’s often a subconscious habit. The first step to changing it is awareness.

Pay attention to what your hands, legs, or even your face are doing when you’re in conversations or public speaking situations.

Once you become aware of these fidgeting habits, you can consciously work on keeping them in check.

Try to keep your movements calm and composed. It might feel strange at first, but over time, you’ll find yourself fidgeting less and exuding more confidence.

Remember, confidence is as much about how you present yourself physically as it is about your mental state.

6: Overthinking Every Single Detail

Have you ever found yourself replaying a conversation in your mind over and over again, dissecting every word, every gesture, every facial expression?

Well, join the club. This is a classic sign of low confidence, often referred to as ‘overthinking’.

Overthinking can lead you down a rabbit hole of self-doubt and anxiety, making it difficult to make decisions or take action.

But here’s an interesting fact: did you know that confidence, or lack thereof, is usually quite fluid and can change daily, even hourly​?

This means that just because you’re overthinking today, doesn’t mean you have to be stuck in this pattern forever.

You might be wondering, “how do I stop overthinking?”

Well, a good starting point is to practice mindfulness. Try to stay present in the moment, instead of getting lost in your thoughts.

Mindfulness can help you break the cycle of overthinking, allowing you to trust in your abilities and regain your confidence.

Related: 8 phrases intelligent people never use at work

7. Neglecting Self-Care

Here’s something you might not expect on this list: neglecting self-care. You might wonder, “What does self-care have to do with confidence?”

Well, a lot, actually!

When we’re feeling tired, stressed, or run-down, it’s harder to portray confidence.

Think about the last time you were really exhausted. Did you feel like your most confident self? Probably not.

Self-care involves taking time to replenish your physical, emotional, and mental energy. This could mean getting enough sleep, eating healthy, exercising regularly, taking time to relax, or doing activities you enjoy.

When you take care of yourself, you’re telling yourself that you’re important. And when you feel important and valued, that boosts your confidence.

So, don’t neglect self-care. Make it a priority. It’s not just about feeling good—it’s also about showing up as your most confident self.

8. Shying Away from Compliments

I have to admit, I used to be a master at dodging compliments. Every time someone complimented me, I’d immediately dismiss it or downplay it with a comment like, “Oh, it’s nothing,” or “I just got lucky.”

I thought I was being modest, but in reality, I was undermining my own confidence.

Shying away from compliments can make you seem less confident because it sends the message that you don’t believe in your own worth or abilities.

It can also make the person giving the compliment feel awkward or dismissed.

Accepting compliments graciously is a sign of self-assuredness.

It shows that you recognize your own worth and are comfortable with others seeing it too.

So, the next time someone gives you a compliment, resist the urge to downplay it.

Instead, try simply saying, “Thank you.” You might find that it feels awkward at first, but over time, it can help you feel more confident and appreciative of your own abilities and accomplishments.

Related: 

• 8 things confident introverts always do (but never talk about)
• 8 phrases intelligent people never use at work
• People who are truly authentic never fake these 8 things