10 behaviors that show you’re becoming a confident and more assertive person

by Joyce Ann Isidro | December 29, 2023, 10:57 pm

Have you ever met someone who always seems to stand tall, who is ever-so-calm and assertive?

Chances are, that’s someone who’s confident and assertive.

It might look intimidating or even arrogant to some, but they’re actually just strong-minded and self-assured.

So, if you’re interested in seeing if you’re one of them, this article is for you.

Below, we’ll discuss some behaviors that indicate you’re on the path to becoming more assertive.

These are actions that might seem unusual to some, but are actually quite common and natural for those growing in confidence. 

Let’s begin.

1) Asserting boundaries

When someone is able to effortlessly say ‘no’ when they’re uncomfortable or overextended, they’re likely growing in confidence and assertiveness.

This is because confident people understand the importance of setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. They recognize their limits and aren’t afraid to voice them, even if it might disappoint others.

This doesn’t mean they’re being rude or unsupportive — they’re just valuing their own mental and emotional well-being.

Whether it’s declining an extra workload, asking for personal space, or stepping out of a draining social commitment, they aren’t afraid to stand their ground.

So, the next time you assert your boundaries, remember that it’s not audacious. It’s a sign that shows you respect your own needs and teaching others how to treat them – a hallmark of growing confidence and assertiveness.

2) Speaking up

Ever been in a situation where you thought your opinion wouldn’t matter?

For a long time, that was me. I would sit quietly, holding onto my thoughts, fearing they might be rejected or criticized.

But as I grew more confident and assertive, I realized the importance of speaking up and expressing my thoughts and ideas.

I remember being in a team meeting where our project was heading in a direction I had reservations about. Instead of keeping quiet as I would have done before, I voiced my concerns.

It was nerve-wracking, but to my surprise, my input was welcomed and even led to a beneficial change in our approach.

Of course, you still shouldn’t dominate conversations or disregard others’ opinions — just be open to sharing your perspective.

3) Embracing challenges

If you’re a person who confronts challenges head-on instead of shying away from difficult situations, you’re definitely someone who is growing in confidence and becoming more assertive.

You understand that challenges are opportunities for growth. This doesn’t mean you’re reckless or disregard potential risks—it means you’re able to acknowledge the challenge, assess the situation, and take calculated steps to overcome it.

4) Accepting criticism

When it comes to criticism, a lot of us can be sensitive — and it’s normal. Criticism can hurt, especially when you realize you haven’t done as good as you thought.

But that’s what sets confident and assertive people apart — they see criticism as an opportunity for growth rather than a personal attack.

They have the ability to take constructive feedback on board, assess its validity, and make changes if necessary. They don’t let criticism define them — they use it as a tool for self-improvement.

Of course, it goes without saying that you shouldn’t accept unwarranted or harmful criticism. Always discern between what’s helpful and what’s not and respond accordingly.

5) Valuing self-worth

Ideally, a strong sense of self-worth is something we should develop as we grow older. But often, it can be hard to do this, especially when you’re surrounded by people who constantly bring you down.

That’s why it’s so important to develop confidence and assertiveness. 

Because when you’re confident and assertive, you understand that your value is not determined by external factors like possessions, achievements, or other’s opinions. Instead, you value and respect yourself for who you are, flaws and all.

But don’t mistake this for self-centeredness or narcissism — it’s simply a healthy dose of self-love and respect. Appreciating your unique qualities and embracing your imperfections is not being egotistical, but a show of self-worth.

6) Pursuing goals

All of us have goals, but when you develop confidence and assertiveness, you develop the determination you need to work towards it.

Because when you have the determination, you don’t just dream — you do.

You create plans and pursue your goals with tenacity, unafraid of the commitment required to achieve what you want.

Keep in mind, however, that this is not synonymous with being an unhealthy workaholic or obsessed with success — it just means you know what you want and are determined enough to make it happen.

7) Listening actively

If you have someone in your life who makes you feel truly heard and understood, that’s a person growing in confidence and becoming more assertive — and you should take a page out of their book.

Confident and assertive individuals understand the value of active listening. They know that effective communication is not just about speaking up, but also about genuinely listening to others.

So don’t just agree with everything you hear. Make an effort to understand different perspectives and respond thoughtfully.

8) Seeking personal growth

Confident and assertive people often have a lifelong commitment to personal growth. They understand that there’s always room for improvement and are open to new experiences and learning opportunities.

They consistently invest time in developing their skills, broadening their knowledge, and bettering themselves. 

This indicates an understanding of the importance of continuous learning, a willingness to evolve, and an embracing of the journey towards becoming the best version of themselves.

9) Practicing self-care

There was a time when I didn’t prioritize my own well-being. I was constantly on the go, trying to meet everyone’s expectations, often at the expense of my own health.

But as I began to grow in confidence and become more assertive, I realized the importance of self-care. 

I started making time for activities that nourished my body, mind, and spirit. I started embracing rest and relaxation as essential components of my routine, not just luxuries to be enjoyed occasionally.

But don’t let this turn into self-indulgence or laziness. Simply acknowledge that taking care of yourself is crucial to being able to put forth my best in other areas of life.

10) Believing in yourself

The cornerstone of growing confidence and becoming more assertive is believing in yourself. It’s about trusting your capabilities, valuing your worth, and knowing that you have the strength to weather whatever life throws at you.

Of course, this doesn’t mean being free from fears and doubts — it means that despite having such, you’re still choosing to believe in your potential and abilities, even when things get tough.

It’s this unwavering belief in yourself that fuels confidence, assertiveness, and ultimately, the drive to become the best version of yourself.

And that is perhaps the most powerful of all.

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