“It works with complete strangers, and makes them much more likely to agree with you or to do what you are asking them to do,” Mr. Pease explained.
9 body language habits that make you look genuinely friendly
There’s a fine line between appearing genuinely friendly and just putting on a show.
It all boils down to body language. Body language speaks volumes about your true intentions and feelings, and people can usually tell if you’re being sincere or not.
As someone who’s spent a lot of time observing and studying human interactions, I can tell you this: there are certain body language habits that make you look genuinely friendly.
In this article, I’ll share with you the 9 body language habits that can make you come across as a truly warm and approachable person. No pretense, no fakery – just real, genuine friendliness.
So, ready to learn? Let’s dive right in!
1) Mirror their body language
One of the most effective ways to make people feel comfortable around you is to subtly mimic their body language.
This is known as mirroring. It’s a powerful non-verbal cue that says “I’m on the same wavelength as you”. It creates a subconscious connection between you and the other person, making you appear more friendly and approachable.
“We tend to like people who imitate us—as long as we don’t notice that they’re doing it,” explains Chris Frith, an emeritus professor of neuropsychology at University College London.
Mirroring can be as simple as adopting the same posture as the person you’re talking to, or matching their gestures and facial expressions. It’s all about showing empathy and understanding.
But remember, subtlety is key here. Overdoing it can come off as mockery or mimicry, which can backfire and make you seem insincere. Therefore, keep it natural and unobtrusive.
When done right, mirroring can help you build rapport and foster genuine connections with others. So why not give it a try?
2) Maintain eye contact
Eye contact is a powerful form of non-verbal communication. It can express interest, engagement, and openness. In my personal experience, maintaining eye contact has been the cornerstone of forming genuine and friendly connections.
I recall a situation where I was attending a networking event. I was introduced to a person who seemed rather reserved. As we started conversing, I made a conscious effort to maintain steady eye contact.
This wasn’t a staring contest, but rather a way to show my interest and attentiveness towards what they were saying.
As the conversation progressed, I noticed them opening up more, sharing their thoughts and experiences freely. The initial reservation seemed to have melted away.
They later mentioned how they felt comfortable talking to me and appreciated the fact that I seemed genuinely interested in what they had to say.
So from my experience, I can vouch for the fact that maintaining eye contact can be an effective body language habit that makes you appear genuinely friendly. Just remember not to overdo it as it can become uncomfortable and counterproductive.
3) Offer a warm smile
A smile is an universal sign of friendliness. But did you know that not all smiles are created equal?
There are many types of smiles, but the one that makes you appear most genuinely friendly is the Duchenne smile. Named after the 19th century French neurologist Guillaume Duchenne, this type of smile engages not just your mouth, but also your eyes.
When you give a Duchenne smile, the corners of your mouth turn upwards and your cheeks lift, causing your eyes to crinkle up. It’s often referred to as “smiling with your eyes”.
This type of smile is perceived as authentic and warm, making it an effective way to show friendliness and build rapport with others. So next time you want to make a positive impression, remember to flash a warm Duchenne smile!
4) Keep your body open
Our bodies can communicate just as much, if not more, than our words. One key habit to making yourself look genuinely friendly is adopting an open body posture.
What does that mean? Simply put, avoid crossing your arms or legs when interacting with others. These are often seen as defensive or closed-off postures that can create a barrier between you and the other person.
Instead, try to keep your arms relaxed by your sides and your stance open. This sends out a signal that you are approachable, receptive, and ready for interaction.
It’s a small change that can have a big impact on how friendly and approachable you appear to others.
5) Nod when they speak
Active listening is a crucial part of appearing friendly and approachable. And one of the best ways to show that you’re actively engaged in a conversation is by nodding your head when the other person speaks.
This simple non-verbal cue shows that you’re not only listening, but also understanding and agreeing with what they’re saying. It’s a powerful form of non-verbal communication that can encourage the speaker to open up more, and share their thoughts and ideas freely.
Having said that, balance is still the name of the game. Overdoing it can make you seem insincere or patronizing. The next time you’re in a conversation, try nodding your head subtly to show your active engagement.
You might be surprised at how much it can enhance your interactions.
6) Use touch appropriately
Touch is a powerful tool in human connection. Used appropriately, it can communicate warmth, empathy, and friendliness.
I’ve found that small gestures, like a light touch on the arm during a conversation or a friendly pat on the back, can go a long way in making someone feel comfortable and accepted.
However, it’s crucial to remember that everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to touch. It’s always important to respect personal boundaries and ensure that any form of touch is appropriate and consensual.
According to body language expert and author Allan Pease, the most effective area for physical contact is the elbow. The touch should be gentle, lasting no more than three seconds.
In the end, building genuine relationships is all about respecting others and making them feel valued. A simple, respectful touch can often communicate this better than words ever could.
7) Show genuine interest
In my early days of networking, I made the mistake of focusing too much on my own image and getting my message across.
Over time, I realized that the key to building strong, friendly connections was not in talking about myself, but in showing genuine interest in others.
When you ask people about their thoughts, experiences, and ideas, and truly listen to their responses, you not only learn more about them but also make them feel valued. This can greatly enhance your friendly demeanor.
I have found that asking open-ended questions and encouraging others to share more about themselves has led to some of the most meaningful and rewarding relationships in my life.
So remember, showing genuine interest is a powerful way to appear genuinely friendly.
8) Speak softly
The way you speak can greatly influence how friendly you appear to others. Speaking in a calm, soft tone can make you seem more approachable and less intimidating.
It’s not about being quiet or shy, but rather about creating an atmosphere of comfort and ease. A soft voice invites others to lean in and listen, fostering a sense of intimacy and connection.
However, it’s important to maintain clarity and ensure that you’re being heard. After all, communication is a two-way street.
In your next conversation, try lowering your volume a notch. You might find that it helps to create a more friendly and welcoming vibe.
9) Be yourself
At the end of the day, nothing beats authenticity. Trying to put on a façade or be someone you’re not can often be sensed by others. There’s something incredibly powerful and magnetic about being genuine.
Embrace your quirks, your passions, your strengths, and even your weaknesses. They make you who you are. People are drawn to honesty and authenticity.
That’s why I always say: don’t be afraid to let your true self shine. It’s the most genuinely friendly thing you can do.
Final thoughts: It’s all about connection
The nuances of human interaction are complex and diverse, often rooted in our innate desire for connection and belonging.
In making an effort to appear genuinely friendly, we’re not merely putting on a facade. Instead, we’re aligning our external expressions with our internal feelings of empathy, kindness, and warmth.
Here’s the bottom line: appearing friendly is not as important as being genuinely friendly. The point of practicing this habit is to let your genuine friendliness shine through your actions.
At the end of the day, we’re all just looking for authentic connections in this shared human experience.