10 clever ways to make a friend feel valued and appreciated

I was always brought up to treat other people the way I’d like to be treated.

When that comes to interacting with my friends, that means I like to go out of my way to make them feel valued and appreciated. The hope is that they’ll return the favor.

And that brings me on to the point of today’s article. Let’s take a look at ten of my favorite ways to make my friends feel valued and appreciated.

1) Write them a letter

In today’s digital world, the simple act of writing someone a letter can be enough to make them feel valued.

It takes time to write a letter, and it also shows the person that you were thinking of them when you sat down and put pen to paper. It also leaves them with something physical and tangible that they can hold on to as a reminder that you appreciate them.

How you choose to deliver that letter is up to you. It’s always nice to get a letter through the post, but if you want to surprise someone then you might have to hand deliver it if you don’t happen to have their postal address.

2) Get them a personalized gift

Giving someone a gift is one thing, but giving them a personalized gift is something else entirely.

I like to do this by hiring an independent artist to make something. A particular favorite is to get an artist to draw or paint a person’s pets, because that’s a surefire way to give them something that’s close to their hearts.

On top of that, it’s like that last point we covered in that it gives them something physical that they can hang on to. In the case of art, they can even hang it up on their wall.

3) Use active listening

Active listening is a type of listening that’s characterized by paying particularly close attention to what the speaker is saying.

We’re often guilty of sitting around and waiting until it’s our turn to speak, thinking about what we’re going to say instead of properly listening to the person we’re speaking to. Active listening is the solution to that.

To get started with active listening, commit to giving the person you’re listening to your full attention. Prompt them with open-ended questions to get them to keep talking and focus on understanding the true meaning of what they’re saying.

4) Perform a random act of kindness

Random acts of kindness are all about finding something small that you can do to make someone’s day better.

Historically, the point behind random acts of kindness has been to pay it forwards by doing nice things for total strangers. We can take that concept and adapt it to do nice things for a friend.

This might mean dropping off a fresh cup of coffee at their house in the morning, offering to help them clean their house or picking out a book you think they’ll like. The possibilities are endless!

5) Make them a playlist

Making someone a playlist is the 21^st century equivalent of making them a mixtape.

The nice thing about making a playlist is that it doesn’t cost any money but it’s totally personalized not only to the person you’re making it for but also to the relationship between you.

For example, if I was going to make a playlist for a family member, it would be very different to a playlist that I’d make for a friend.

A word or two of warning, though: don’t keep asking your friend whether they’ve listened to it. They’ll do so in their own time.

6) Take them out for coffee

Everyone likes going for coffee, especially if a friend is paying.

Taking someone out for a coffee allows you to treat them while simultaneously spending some time with them. You can catch up and have a chat and even rekindle old friendships that have started to wither and die.

And of course, there’s also the added advantage that you get to enjoy a delicious coffee, too. Everybody wins!

7) Take out a subscription for them

In this day and age, there are limitless opportunities for us to take out subscriptions for people.

For example, there are services like Hello Fresh which provide meal kits, and most of us use Spotify, Apple Music, Netflix, Disney Plus and/or other streaming services. I’ve even taken out a family plan on Duolingo and gifted premium membership to a few friends.

Taking subscriptions out for people is super meaningful because it means you can give them access to a service that they might not otherwise have had access to. And you can tailor this gift to your friend by picking a subscription that you know they’ll like.

8) Make a donation in their name

This is one of my favorite things to do because it allows you to do some good in the wider world, as well as within your friendship.

The idea is to choose a charity that means something to your friend. Perhaps they have a relative who’s successfully fought cancer. If that’s the case, you could make a donation to a cancer charity.

These days, most charities make it possible for you to make a donation in someone’s name, but even if not, the simple gesture of donating in your own name can be enough. It’s all about the gesture.

9) Send them a care package

A care package is exactly what it sounds like – a little package that’s filled with things that are designed to help people to take care of themselves.

My mum likes to do this whenever I’m feeling under the weather by sending me a little package filled with medicine, snacks and anything else that she thinks will help to cheer me up. It makes it a lot easier to get through the tough times.

The other thing I like about sending a friend a care package is that just like creating a playlist, it requires you to be thoughtful and to spend time coming up with something that your friend will like.

10)  Shout them out on social media

If all else fails, you can always give your friend a little shout out on social media to acknowledge how important they are to you.

What I will say, though, is that this should be your last resort. That’s because while this can make a friend feel valued and appreciated, it’s also the laziest of all of these options. It’s easy, but it’s not super meaningful.

On top of that, if you do this too often, your other friends will notice and you risk annoying them. You might even make them feel left out because you didn’t give them a shoutout.

Conclusion

These ideas that I’ve shared with you today should help you to get a good idea of some of the options that are out there for making your friends feel valued and appreciated.

However, there are plenty more options available to you, and this list is by no means exhaustive. Use it for some inspiration but feel free to come up with your own options.

In the end, the best way to make a friend feel valued and appreciated is to value and appreciate them. If you put in the effort, they’ll notice.