If you’re feeling lonely in life, say goodbye to these 10 habits

by Brendan Brown | April 25, 2024, 7:23 pm

In the midst of our busy lives, it’s not uncommon to feel lonely. 

Loneliness can be a tough adversary to conquer. 

While it’s true that everyone feels lonely from time to time, persistent feelings of loneliness can make life seem like a solitary and perhaps, a sad journey too.

But remember, you’re not alone in this. There are habits that can make us feel more alone than we really are. 

Let’s delve into those and figure out how to change them.

1) Avoiding social interactions

Is it easier for you to stay in, rather than going out and socializing? 

Do you find yourself turning down invitations or avoiding social gatherings

If that’s the case and you’re feeling lonely, it might be time to reconsider this habit.

Here’s the thing: 

While it’s perfectly okay to need some alone time, consistently avoiding social interactions can lead to feelings of loneliness. 

I understand it might seem daunting at first, but it’s about taking small steps. 

What about reconnecting with old friends? 

I know the first time might be intense, but try opening up and expressing how you feel. This will clear the air and reassure your friend that they didn’t do anything wrong. You were just going through a rough patch.

We’ll talk more about expressing your feelings further along… For now, let’s look at our next habit. 

2) Constant comparisons

With social media at our fingertips, it’s all too easy to fall into the habit of comparing ourselves with others.

I bet, you’ve looked at someone’s vacation photos or happy family snaps and thought, “Why isn’t my life like that?”

Truth is, this comparison can make you feel isolated and alone. But remember, social media often showcases the best parts of people’s lives, not their struggles or mundane routines.

I found it extremely eye-opening to limit time spent on social platforms.

If and when I do use them, I remind myself that each person’s journey is unique and not as picture-perfect as it might seem.

3) Not expressing your feelings

Bad habits die hard, and bottling up your emotions is one such tough habit to break.

More often than not you might think that you’re being strong, but sharing your feelings with others can be incredibly liberating. 

It requires great courage to open up, making yourself vulnerable in front of others. 

Now that’s real strength if you ask me!

If you’re feeling lonely, don’t hesitate to reach out to a trusted friend or family member and express your emotions. 

4) Rejecting new connections

Here’s a fact to remember: 

A casual conversation could blossom into a meaningful friendship when you least expect it.

If you’ve been feeling lonely, meeting new people and making new friends can be intimidating, I know. 

However, rejecting potential connections because of fear or skepticism can intensify feelings of loneliness.

Try to remain open to meeting new people, whether it’s at work, a hobby club, or even your neighborhood coffee shop. 

5) Not nurturing existing relationships

Remember the saying, “Out of sight, out of mind?” 

That can often be true with our friendships and relationships.

Amidst the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to neglect our existing relationships.

Can you relate to this?

Have you ever neglected relationships out of laziness or because you were absorbed in your routine? Or maybe, someone did that to you?

However it came about, we’re social animals, so nurturing existing relationships can provide a solid foundation of support, alleviating feelings of loneliness.

My advice is to actively make time for those close connections. This can do a world of difference in making you feel less lonely. 

6) Over-reliance on digital communication

So, we live in an era where digital communication often substitutes face-to-face interactions. 

While this has its advantages, over-reliance on digital communication can lead to feelings of disconnection and loneliness.

Maybe I’m just getting old, but I remember when I was young, if you broke up with your girlfriend by SMS it would be seen as cowardly!

Nowadays, I feel like this has changed. We have welcomed technology into our lives without limits, and it’s almost accepted for people to have entire relationships in the virtual world. 

Stay human – meet your loved ones and cherish those moments.

7) Neglecting self-care

Let’s face it, when you’re feeling lonely, self-care often takes a back seat. 

However, we all know that regular exercise, a balanced diet, and even moments of mindfulness are essential for overall well-being.

You might think: 

How’s self-care related to my loneliness?  

Lack of self-care can be a result of your loneliness. As you take care of yourself, you’d be surprised at how your perspective changes and feelings of loneliness start to dissipate.

8) Being too self-critical

Truth be told, we all have an internal critic. 

I will admit here, I know exactly how it feels to constantly berate yourself and undermine your achievements. It’s not strange to feel alone and unworthy.

I learned a great deal about the concept of “compassionate internal dialogue” while working with my therapist.

It’s a way of talking to yourself in moments of loneliness, stress, or disappointment. 

Now, want practical advice for remedying this habit? 

Next time you find yourself feeling one of these emotions, be kind and talk to yourself with the compassion you would talk to a loved one. 

Over time, that self-critical voice will remain, but the message and tone will be completely different, empowering you and helping you feel better and perhaps more social! 

9) Staying stuck in the past

Can you relate to the difficulty of letting things go?

Do you hold on to:

  • Past regrets?
  • Failures? 
  • Lost relationships?

All of these can intensify feelings of loneliness

While it’s natural to reflect on the past, staying stuck there isn’t beneficial.

Take a chance to reflect and forgive yourself for past mistakes. 

Remember that they don’t define your future. Embrace the present and look forward to the future with optimism and open-mindedness.

10) Not seeking help

If you’re feeling persistently lonely, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. 

Sometimes, it takes an outside perspective to help us navigate our feelings and make positive changes in our lives.

As I mentioned, I see my therapist a few times a year. Let me share with you how I felt after my first session:

It felt as if a dark cloud disappeared from the top of my head, in only one session, her external output helped start my recovery process. 

Loneliness doesn’t have to be a life sentence. 

By saying goodbye to these habits, you’re taking proactive steps toward embracing a more connected, fulfilling life

I can guarantee it won’t be easy, but it’ll be well worth it. 

And always remember, it’s okay to feel lonely, and it’s okay to ask for help. You’re not alone in this journey.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *