People who are great listeners often embrace these 8 ways of thinking

There’s a unique quality that sets great listeners apart.

It’s not just about hearing the words but understanding the unspoken language too.

Great listeners don’t just nod their heads; they adopt a certain way of thinking that makes the speaker feel truly heard and understood.

In this article, we’ll explore the eight thought processes that great listeners often embrace. And trust me, adopting these can transform your listening skills and deepen your relationships.

So, get ready as we dive into the mindset of remarkable listeners.

1) Embracing silence

In the world of communication, silence is golden.

Great listeners know the power of a well-placed pause. They understand that there’s value in the spaces between words.

Often, in a conversation, we’re so eager to fill in any gaps with our own thoughts or opinions. But great listeners resist this urge.

Instead, they embrace the silence. They use it as a tool to allow the other person to gather their thoughts, to fully express their ideas without feeling rushed or interrupted.

Silence provides breathing space for deeper understanding and connection. It’s a simple yet powerful way of showing respect to the speaker.

So, next time you’re in a conversation, try embracing the silence. You might be surprised at what you’ll discover in those quiet moments.

2) Practicing empathy

Empathy is a powerful tool in any conversation. As a great listener, I’ve learned this first-hand.

A few years ago, I found myself in a conversation with a colleague who had just gone through a challenging work situation. As she shared her experience, I didn’t rush to offer solutions or advice.

Instead, I chose to simply empathize. I acknowledged her feelings, saying things like “That sounds really tough” and “I can only imagine how you must be feeling”.

I actively tried to put myself in her shoes, to understand her perspective without judgment.

After our conversation, she thanked me for being there and said that the talk was extremely helpful for her. She didn’t need me to fix anything; she just needed someone to truly listen and empathize with her situation.

So from personal experience, I can vouch for the power of empathy in listening. It builds connection and allows the speaker to feel seen and understood.

3) Avoiding interruptions

Did you know, a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that people who interrupt conversations are often perceived as more dominant, but less likeable?

Great listeners understand the importance of allowing the speaker to finish their thoughts without interruption. It’s not just about politeness or conversational etiquette, it’s about showing respect for the speaker’s ideas and opinions.

Interrupting can often derail a speaker’s train of thought, causing them to lose their point and creating a barrier to effective communication.

So if you want to be a better listener, practice holding your thoughts until the speaker has finished. This approach not only can enhance your relationships, but it also steers clear of the negative perception associated with frequent interruptions.

4) Being present

In our fast-paced, multi-tasking world, giving someone your undivided attention is a gift.

Great listeners understand the importance of being fully present in a conversation. They’re not scrolling through their phones or thinking about their next task. Their focus is on the speaker and what they’re saying.

By being present, you show the speaker that you value their thoughts and feelings. It also helps you to fully grasp what’s being said, rather than just catching bits and pieces.

So, whether you’re having a casual chat or a serious discussion, make a conscious effort to be fully engaged. You’ll find that it not only improves your listening skills but also deepens your relationships.

5) Showing genuine interest

There’s nothing more heartwarming than feeling truly heard and understood.

Great listeners don’t just hear words; they show a genuine interest in understanding the person behind those words. They listen to understand, not just to respond.

They ask thoughtful questions, delve deeper into the conversation, and show curiosity about the speaker’s feelings and experiences. They create a safe space where the speaker feels valued and appreciated.

Their intent is not to offer advice or solutions, but to simply understand and connect on a deeper level.

So remember, the next time you’re in a conversation, show genuine interest. It’s a simple act that can leave a lasting impact on someone’s life.

6) Checking assumptions at the door

Earlier in my career, I found myself in a disagreement with a team member. We were both convinced that our own approach was the best.

I remember going into a meeting with him, ready to defend my point of view. But instead of launching into my argument, I decided to really listen.

I put aside my assumptions and preconceived ideas about what he was going to say. And as I listened, I realized that his approach had merits that I hadn’t previously considered. By checking my assumptions at the door, I was able to see a different perspective and we eventually found a solution that worked for both of us.

Great listeners understand the importance of this approach. They know that our assumptions can cloud our understanding and prevent us from truly hearing what’s being said. By being open-minded and setting aside preconceptions, we can fully engage with the speaker and gain a better understanding of their perspective.

7) Reflecting and summarizing

One of the most effective ways to show that you’re truly engaged in a conversation is by reflecting and summarizing what’s been said.

Great listeners often use this technique. They’ll paraphrase the speaker’s words or summarize their key points. This not only shows that they’re actively engaged, but also helps to clarify any misunderstandings and ensures that they’ve correctly understood the speaker’s message.

Reflecting and summarizing is a powerful way to validate the speaker’s feelings and thoughts. It indicates that you’re not just passively hearing the words, but actively trying to understand their perspective.

So next time you’re in a conversation, try reflecting back what’s been said. You’ll find it can greatly enhance your understanding and the quality of the conversation.

8) Responding with thoughtful feedback

The hallmark of a great listener is their ability to respond with thoughtful, considerate feedback. They don’t just nod along or offer generic responses. Instead, they contribute to the conversation in a meaningful way, showing that they’ve truly absorbed what’s been said.

This doesn’t mean they always agree with the speaker. But even when expressing a differing opinion, they do so in a respectful manner, acknowledging the speaker’s point of view.

Your responses can either enhance a conversation or shut it down. So, always aim to respond in a way that encourages further discussion and connection. It’s not just about what you say, but how you say it that can make all the difference.

Final thoughts: The art of truly listening

The power of great listening lies not just in the silence, but in the connections it fosters.

Remember, truly listening involves more than just hearing words. It’s about understanding, empathy, and creating a safe space for others to express themselves.

It’s about checking your assumptions, giving thoughtful feedback, and engaging fully in the conversation.

In essence, it’s a commitment to seeing the world through another person’s eyes, even if just for a moment.

The philosopher Epictetus once said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” Perhaps we can all take a leaf from his book.

So as you go forward, I invite you to embrace these eight ways of thinking and become not just a listener, but a great one. After all, in this noisy world, it’s the listeners who often make the most significant impact.