7 types of friends not worth keeping in your life as you get older (even if you’ve known them for years)

by Tina Fey | August 14, 2025, 9:57 pm

There’s a distinct difference between friends we cherish as we age and those we don’t.

This difference boils down to value. Keeping friends who drain you emotionally, mentally, or even physically can be a burden, especially if their true colors only seem to surface over time.

On the contrary, friends who enrich your life, offering support and understanding, are the ones worth keeping around, even as we grow older. They allow us to feel at ease, to be ourselves and to grow.

Sometimes, we need to evaluate our friendships and decide if they’re truly beneficial for us. And believe me, there are certain types of friends we’re better off without as we age.

Here are seven types of friends that may not be worth keeping in your life as you get older, even if you’ve known them for years.

1) The constant competitor

There’s a fine line between friendly competition and constantly trying to one-up each other.

Now, we all have those friends who love a bit of competition – it’s part of their charm. But as we age, this can often become more exhausting than exciting.

Take a moment and think about it. Is there someone in your life who always seems to be competing with you? Someone who can’t let you have your moment without trying to overshadow it with their own achievements?

This type of friend can drain you emotionally and mentally, making every interaction feel like a battlefield instead of a safe space.

Growing older means growing wiser and realizing that life isn’t a competition. It’s about supporting each other and celebrating each other’s successes.

2) The fair-weather friend

We all have those friends who only seem to show up when the going is good.

I’ll share a personal story. I had a friend, let’s call her Jane. Jane was always around when there were parties to attend, fun trips to embark on, or any situation involving good times. However, when things got tough, she was notably absent.

When my father fell ill, I could have used her support, but she was nowhere to be found. And it wasn’t just with me; other friends noticed the same trend. Jane was great for laughs and adventures but fell short when it came to providing emotional support during challenging times.

Friends who show up only when they can get something out of it may not be worth keeping around as we age.

3) The drama magnet

While life can be full of unexpected twists and turns, there are some people who seem to attract chaos like a magnet.

These friends constantly find themselves in the midst of drama, and often, they pull you into it too. One minute you’re enjoying a peaceful coffee, the next you’re embroiled in a heated argument you had no part in starting.

People who are often involved in drama are more likely to experience stress, anxiety, and depression. The same effects can spill over onto their friends.

4) The guilt-tripper

There’s nothing worse than a friend who uses guilt as a tool to get what they want.

This type of friend often makes you feel bad for not meeting their expectations, whether it’s spending time with them, doing them favors, or even agreeing with their viewpoints. They have a knack for turning the tables and making you feel like the bad guy.

This manipulative behavior can be emotionally draining and affect your self-esteem. As we grow older, we need friends who respect our choices and don’t resort to guilt-tripping us to fulfill their needs.

True friendship is about mutual respect and understanding – not emotional manipulation. The guilt-tripper might not be a friend worth keeping as you age, even if you’ve known them for years.

5) The constant critic

I used to have a friend who found something to critique in everything I did. Whether it was my career choices, my style, or even my taste in music, nothing seemed to escape their criticism. It was as if they took pleasure in pointing out my flaws and shortcomings.

At first, I thought they were just brutally honest. But over time, I realized it was more than that. Their constant criticism was affecting my self-confidence and making me second guess my every move.

While constructive criticism from a friend can be very helpful, there’s a world of difference between that and constant, unrelenting negativity.

6) The flaky friend

We all know that one person who can never seem to stick to plans. They’re the ones constantly canceling at the last minute, or worse, not showing up at all without a word.

While everyone has their off days and unforeseen circumstances can arise, a pattern of this behavior shows a lack of respect for your time and consideration.

As we get older, our time becomes more precious. We need friends who value our time as much as we value theirs.

7) The energy vampire

The most crucial type of friend to recognize and reconsider is the energy vampire.

These are the friends who leave you feeling drained after every interaction. They’re often negative, demanding, and seem to suck the joy out of any situation. Their problems become your problems, and their negativity can start to weigh you down.

Life’s too short to spend it with energy vampires, no matter how long you’ve known them.

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