7 ways to spot a good person within 5 minutes of meeting them, according to psychology

by Tina Fey | July 24, 2025, 8:10 pm

Meeting new people is like exploring an uncharted territory. You’re never too sure of what you’re going to find.

But what if you could tell if someone is a good person within just five minutes of meeting them?

Psychology might have some answers for you. It provides us with tools and insights to read people better and faster.

With these 7 psychological tips, you can spot a good person quickly without having to spend weeks or months getting to know them.

This article will guide you on how to do just that, and trust me, it’s easier than you might think!

1) Genuine smiles

One of the earliest indicators of a good person, according to psychology, is their smile.

Not just any smile, but a genuine one. This is also known as a Duchenne smile, named after the French physician Guillaume Duchenne, who studied the physiology of facial expressions in the nineteenth century.

A genuine smile involves not just the muscles around the mouth, but also those around the eyes. It’s a spontaneous reaction that’s hard to fake.

When you meet someone for the first time and they greet you with a genuine smile, it can be a good sign they’re a warm and positive individual.

But remember, this isn’t foolproof. Some people are excellent at faking emotions. So, use this as just one tool in your toolbox for spotting a good person.

2) They show genuine interest

Another indicator of a good person is their level of interest in you and what you have to say.

I remember meeting a woman at a conference once. Within the first few minutes of our conversation, she was asking me about my work, my hobbies, and even my family.

She wasn’t just asking these questions to fill the silence, either. She genuinely seemed interested in what I had to say. She made eye contact, nodded along as I spoke, and even asked follow-up questions.

Her genuine interest in me made me feel valued and important. It was one of the first clues to me that she was a good person.

Genuine interest in others is a characteristic often found in people who are empathetic and kind-hearted, so keep an eye out for this when meeting someone new.

3) They’re comfortable with touch

Good people often have a natural way of using touch to establish connections. They might give a warm, firm handshake, a friendly pat on the back, or a gentle touch on the arm during a conversation.

Research from the University of Miami found that regular human touch releases oxytocin, also known as the “feel good hormone”. This can help to build trust and cooperation between individuals.

If you notice someone is comfortable using appropriate touch when interacting, it could be a sign they are good at building connections and maintaining relationships.

Again, remember to take context into consideration – not all cultures or individuals are comfortable with the same levels of physical contact.

4) They’re respectful of your personal space

While a good person is comfortable with touch, they also understand and respect personal boundaries.

Striking the right balance between being warm and respecting someone’s personal space is a delicate art. It shows emotional intelligence and consideration for others’ comfort.

If someone stands at an appropriate distance, doesn’t invade your personal space, and respects your boundaries right from the get-go, it’s a good sign they’re considerate, aware of others, and generally a good person.

It’s all about respecting the invisible bubble around a person. This can vary depending on the relationship, context, and individual comfort levels. But when someone gets it right, it speaks volumes about their character.

5) They’re not afraid to show their flaws

When I was younger, I used to think that good people are those who seem perfect. But, as I grew older, I realized that it’s quite the contrary.

The most genuine and good-hearted people I’ve met were those who were open about their imperfections. They weren’t afraid to admit their mistakes or share their weaknesses.

I met a man once who, within the first few minutes of our conversation, admitted he was terrible at remembering names. He laughed it off and asked for patience if he asked for my name again. His honesty and ability to laugh at himself put me at ease and made me feel comfortable around him.

Admitting flaws isn’t a sign of weakness, but a sign of authenticity. It shows they’re real humans with real struggles, just like the rest of us. So if someone is open about their imperfections within the first few minutes of meeting them, it could be a sign of a good person.

6) They’re good listeners

One of the most powerful qualities a person can possess is the ability to truly listen to others.

Good listeners don’t just hear your words, but they understand your message and emotions. They don’t interrupt, they’re not preoccupied with crafting their response while you’re still talking, and they make sure to respond in a way that shows they were actively engaged in what you were saying.

They use non-verbal cues, like nodding their head or maintaining eye contact, to show they’re focused on you. They also ask insightful questions or provide thoughtful responses that show they’re processing what you’re saying.

Good listening skills indicate respect for others and a genuine interest in understanding people, making it a solid indicator of a good person.

7) They exhibit kindness

At the end of the day, one of the most telling signs of a good person is their kindness. Kindness can manifest in many forms – a compassionate word, a helpful gesture, or even just a warm smile.

From the moment you meet them, notice how they treat you and those around them. Do they speak kindly to the waiter? Are they patient with the elderly lady struggling with her bags? Do they show genuine concern when you share something personal?

Kindness is not just about grand gestures; it’s about small acts that show consideration and empathy for others. A person who exudes kindness within the first few minutes of meeting them is likely a good person at heart.

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