9 social rules boomers learned as kids that completely confuse the young generation today

by Tina Fey | July 29, 2025, 9:20 pm

When I was growing up, there were certain unwritten social rules we all had to follow. Some of these rules, however, leave the younger generation scratching their heads today.

These social norms we boomers learned as kids may seem outdated or plain weird to today’s youth. But, believe it or not, they shaped our interactions and manners back in the day.

In this article, I’ll take you on a nostalgic trip down memory lane, as we explore 9 social rules from my childhood that completely baffle the young folks today. Prepare yourself for an intriguing generational culture shock.

1) Always answer the phone

Back in my day, the telephone was our lifeline to the world. When it rang, you answered it. No caller ID, no voicemail – just a ring and the mystery of who might be on the other end.

For us boomers, answering the phone was almost an instinctive reaction. It was a rule we followed because it was the only way to connect with others.

Nowadays, with smartphones buzzing every few minutes with notifications, many young people consider phone calls intrusive and prefer texting or messaging on social media. The old-world charm and suspense of the ringing telephone is something that completely confuses them. They may even find it bothersome!

Who knew that simply answering the phone would turn into such a puzzling generational difference?

2) Never show up empty-handed

Now, this was a rule close to my heart. Growing up, it was ingrained in us to never visit someone’s house without a little something in hand – be it a cake, flowers, or even a simple card. It was seen as a token of appreciation for their hospitality.

I remember my mother always insisting on us taking along a homemade pie or cookies whenever we were invited over to our friends’ houses. It was like our family’s signature way to say thank you.

Fast forward to today, and this gesture seems to have become less common. My kids and their friends often hang out at each other’s places without the formality of the ‘host-guest’ dynamics we used to follow. It’s more about chilling together than formal visits.

The concept of always bringing a gift can seem odd or even unnecessary to the younger generation, causing some confusion and surprise when I share our old ways.

3) Respect your elders

This rule was non-negotiable when I was growing up. We were taught to always show deference to those older than us, whether they were our parents, teachers, or neighbors.

In the boomers’ era, age directly correlated with wisdom and experience. It was customary to offer our seats to the elderly on public transport, use polite forms of address, and always listen patiently when an elder was speaking.

Today, with the rise of digital technology and the internet, information and knowledge are readily accessible to all ages. The younger generation often feels they are on an equal footing with their elders in terms of knowledge and ideas. This shift can make the old rule of “respect your elders” feel outdated and confusing.

4) Handwritten thank you notes

In the era of boomers, thanking someone wasn’t just about uttering the words; it was an art form. When someone did something nice for us or gave us a gift, we were expected to send a handwritten note expressing our gratitude.

Writing thank you notes was a way of showing that we valued the effort and thought the other person put into their gesture. It added a personal touch that made the recipient feel special.

Fast forward to today, where a quick text or an email suffices for most thank you’s. The younger generation might find the idea of taking the time to write, address, and mail a physical note not just confusing, but downright archaic. Yet, for us boomers, it was a significant part of our social etiquette.

5) Dress to impress

In our boomer childhood, dressing up was not just about looking good, it was a sign of respect for the people around you. Wearing your Sunday best to church, donning a suit for a business meeting, or even dressing up for a dinner at a friend’s house was the norm.

Appropriate attire was a way of showing that you took the occasion and the people around you seriously. It was considered disrespectful to appear at an event or gathering without making an effort with your attire.

Today, with the advent of casual Fridays and the acceptance of more informal clothing in many settings, this rule can seem strange to the younger generation. They value comfort and personal style over formality, making our old dress codes seem confusing and unnecessary.

6) Family dinners are sacred

In my childhood, family dinners were more than just meals; they were sacred gatherings. They were our daily opportunity to reconnect, share our day’s experiences, and strengthen our family bonds. No matter how busy we were, we always made it a point to dine together.

There was a warmth and comfort in those shared meals, the laughter and stories echoing around the table. It was a rule that we all cherished and respected.

In today’s fast-paced world, with everyone juggling their schedules and often opting for quick meals in front of the TV or computer, this tradition can seem confusing to the younger generation. The idea of carving out dedicated time for a sit-down family dinner might seem quaint, or even impractical, but for us boomers, it was a rule that held our families together.

7) Don’t talk back to adults

Growing up, one rule was crystal clear in our household – children didn’t talk back to adults. It was seen as a sign of disrespect and was often met with swift consequences.

I remember being corrected sharply by my father when I once retorted to a teacher’s comment. It was a lesson in humility and respect that I took to heart.

Today, with an emphasis on open communication and encouraging kids to voice their opinions, this rule can seem stifling and confusing to the younger generation. The balance between respect and freedom of speech is something they navigate differently compared to us boomers.

8) Always be on time

Punctuality was a big deal in our boomer generation. Whether it was a casual social gathering or an important business meeting, being on time was a non-negotiable rule. It was seen as a sign of respect for other people’s time.

Being late was often viewed as rude and inconsiderate. It gave the impression that you didn’t value the other person’s time as much as your own.

In today’s culture, with its flexible schedules and last-minute changes, this rule might seem overly strict to the younger generation. They might find the concept of always being on time puzzling, especially in an age where virtual meetings can start with the click of a button.

9) Privacy is paramount

In our boomer generation, privacy was a cherished aspect of life. Personal matters were kept within the family, and sharing too much information was frowned upon. We were taught to respect not just our own privacy, but also that of others.

Now, in the age of social media, where every meal, every outing, and every thought is shared publicly, this concept seems alien to the younger generation. The idea of keeping things private might confuse them, but for us, it was a rule that defined our interactions and relationships.

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