If you stay attached to these 8 things, you’ll never truly move forward in life

If you’ve ever felt like you’re running on a treadmill—moving but not really going anywhere—chances are you’re clinging to something that’s weighing you down. And until you loosen your grip, true progress will always feel out of reach.

Here are 8 common things people stay attached to that stop them from really moving forward in life. I’ve learned some of these lessons the hard way, and maybe you have too.

Let’s dive in.

1. The need for certainty

One of the strongest human desires is the need for certainty. We like to know what’s going to happen next. We like to feel in control. The problem is, life doesn’t work that way. The more you cling to certainty, the more anxious and disappointed you become when things inevitably change.

I used to spend so much energy trying to plan every possible outcome. But the truth is, the future is unpredictable. The more I’ve learned to embrace uncertainty, the freer I’ve felt. Growth happens when you step into the unknown, not when you hide from it.

2. Past mistakes

We all have regrets. Maybe it’s the job you didn’t take, the person you hurt, or the opportunity you missed. The problem is, when you replay your past mistakes over and over, you trap yourself in a cycle of guilt and self-blame.

The past is unchangeable, no matter how much mental energy you throw at it. What matters is what you do today. Every single moment is a chance to begin again. Letting go of your past doesn’t mean ignoring it; it means learning the lesson and then moving forward lighter.

3. Other people’s approval

This one hits hard. So many of us live as though we’re on stage, constantly performing for others. We tweak our choices, our words, even our dreams based on what we think will earn us applause or validation.

I remember when I first started writing online, I was terrified of what people might think. Would they criticize me? Would they think my ideas were silly? But I realized something important: the more I tried to please everyone, the more I lost myself.

When I finally wrote from a place of authenticity—sharing not just polished ideas but also my struggles—I connected with people in a way I never expected. That shift eventually led to writing my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How to Live with Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, where I share how Buddhist wisdom can help us live more freely and purposefully. And you know what? The people who resonated with it were exactly the people I wanted to reach all along.

4. The idea of who you “should” be

We all carry around an invisible script in our heads. By this age, I should have this kind of job. I should have this much money. I should be married, have kids, own a house. Sound familiar?

These “shoulds” are often inherited—from family, society, culture. But when you attach yourself to them too tightly, you live someone else’s life instead of your own. True freedom comes when you question these expectations and start creating a life that feels right for you, not just one that looks right to others.

5. Toxic relationships

Letting go of people can be one of the hardest things to do. Even when a relationship is clearly draining or harmful, we hold on because of history, fear of loneliness, or the hope that things will change. But staying attached to toxic connections will always hold you back.

Think of it like carrying a backpack full of rocks. Every unhealthy relationship is another rock weighing you down. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do—for yourself and for the other person—is to set that backpack down and walk away.

6. Comfort zones

Comfort zones feel safe. They’re warm, predictable, and easy. But they’re also limiting. If you cling too tightly to what’s comfortable, you miss out on growth, adventure, and self-discovery.

I think back to when I first moved to Vietnam. I didn’t know the language, the culture, or even how to cross the street without feeling overwhelmed. But every challenge stretched me in ways I never expected. Comfort never gave me that. Discomfort did.

If you want to move forward in life, you have to risk a little discomfort. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.

7. Old identities

We all tell ourselves stories about who we are. I’m the shy one. I’m not athletic. I’m not good with money. These identities might feel true, but they’re often outdated. The problem is, when you cling to these old labels, you stop yourself from becoming who you’re meant to be now.

I used to tell myself I wasn’t entrepreneurial. I thought I was just a writer, nothing more. But over time, I started experimenting with building digital publications, and suddenly I was running a business that reached millions of people. The identity I once clung to would have kept me small. Letting it go gave me space to grow.

8. The belief that happiness lies in the future

This is maybe the biggest trap of all. So many of us live as though happiness is always just one step ahead: I’ll be happy when I get that job, when I buy that house, when I find the right partner. But the problem with this mindset is that “when” never comes. There’s always another milestone to chase.

Buddhist philosophy teaches that happiness isn’t something you achieve in the future—it’s something you cultivate in the present moment. When you’re attached to the idea that happiness is out there somewhere, you miss the joy that’s available right here, right now.

Letting go is the way forward

Moving forward in life isn’t about adding more—more goals, more possessions, more achievements. It’s often about subtracting. It’s about noticing what you’re holding onto that no longer serves you, and then finding the courage to let it go.

I know it’s not easy. Letting go can feel like losing a part of yourself. But every time I’ve loosened my grip on one of these attachments, I’ve found something better waiting on the other side: freedom, peace, and a deeper sense of alignment with who I really am.

If you’re ready to live with more impact and less ego, I’d love for you to check out my book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How to Live with Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. In it, I explore how ancient wisdom can guide us in shedding what holds us back and stepping into a more conscious, fulfilling life.

So ask yourself: What am I still attached to that’s keeping me stuck? And more importantly, am I ready to let it go?