8 habits emotionally intelligent people have in common

Some people are born with a higher level of empathy than others – which leads them to develop emotional intelligence pretty early in life.

Others learn emotional intelligence purposely by dedicating time to work on themselves.

Whichever applies to you, there are some things people with emotional intelligence just do differently!

How you spend your time, communicate with others, and think about things is unlike those who lack EQ (emotional intelligence).

Want to know if you’re someone with high EQ?

Check out these 8 habits you (and others with high EQ) will almost certainly have!

1) They forgive quickly

People with high EQ have a deeper understanding than most about why people do the things they do.

That’s not to say you make excuses for people’s poor behavior (and continue to tolerate them because you understand where it comes from).

I learned the hard way that there’s a big difference between being understanding and making excuses!

But it does mean you understand why people do things and that their intention may not have always been to hurt you.

And it’s this quality that makes it easy (and habitual) for you to forgive others quickly and move on with your life.

2) They ask a lot of questions

“Curiosity killed the cat” makes it sound like it’s a bad thing to ask a lot of questions. But it’s never a bad thing to have a curious mind.

In fact, it’s a sign that you’re highly intelligent!

If you have high EQ, you don’t always accept what people say at face value. Sure, you don’t question people just for the sake of questioning them.

But you always think deeply about what’s said to see if there’s a hidden meaning or more “obvious” resolution.

Like if a friend told you about a drama in their life, you wouldn’t immediately jump to a conclusion. You’d have a ton of questions before you could offer any advice.

Or if a colleague pitched a new idea and asked your thoughts, you wouldn’t immediately say, “Yes, it sounds great!”. Instead, a million questions would crop into your mind before you could pick a side.

And it’s this habit that’s a clear sign of your high emotional intelligence!

3) They try to keep the peace

The main thing emotionally intelligent people do is stay away from drama.

Stirring the pot, winding people up, and causing unnecessary drama just isn’t something that appeals to you.

When you have high EQ, you understand people on a deeper level.

You have high empathy and – even though you know exactly how to push some people’s buttons – you don’t tend to rile people up unnecessarily.

In fact, you tend to do the opposite – and try to keep the peace instead!

Your high understanding for others, combined with your ability to spot hidden social cues, makes it easy for you to diffuse situations (or prevent them from getting bad in the first place).

And in a sticky situation, people will often turn to you for advice on how to stop a situation from escalating or what to say next to calm someone down.

4) They try new things

Another trait of someone with high EQ is openness and flexibility.

Experts say that people with emotional intelligence are less defensive, more open to feedback, and have a broader mind about the “big stuff”.

So it makes sense that if you have high emotional intelligence, you love trying something new!

And more often than not, trying new things isn’t just something you enjoy doing. It’s a habit and something you actively commit to as part of your daily life.

From walking a different route to work to starting a new hobby, there’s always something on the cards for you to try your hand at when you have high EQ.

5) They have strong routines

Having strong routines isn’t the same as having strict routines.

When you’re emotionally intelligent, you have things you like to do often that you know are good for your overall wellbeing.

Like going to the gym, visiting family, spending time alone, reading your books, or going for walks out in the fresh air.

But you aren’t rigid about what days you do these things – or how much time you spend doing them each month.

Like if you go to the gym or see friends a couple of times a week. You don’t only do these things on a Wednesday and Saturday – with no room at all for movement.

Instead, you make sure you see your friends often and keep up with your exercise regimes. But you aren’t overly strict about which days you go and which days you don’t.

You wouldn’t skip your routines, of course. But when you have high EQ, you know that the best way to live life is with a little bit of flexibility!

6) They set boundaries with people they know

Emotionally intelligent people are particularly good at setting boundaries with people they know.

Which, in other words, means it’s a habit for you to say no when you’re uncomfortable.

Having boundaries means you have clear lines about behavior you tolerate from others in your life and behavior you don’t.

It also means you have limits on what you’ll do for other people and what you won’t.

Like if a friend asks to borrow $100 and you don’t feel comfortable with it – and you tell them you can’t lend them such high amounts – that’s you setting a boundary with them.

Or if – in your dating life – you’d never accept a first date around someone’s house, rather than out in public, this is a boundary you have.

7) They spend time alone

Time alone is good for all of us. But it doesn’t always feel that way.

When you’re a social person, an extrovert, or someone with anxiety, the idea of doing things alone doesn’t seem all that enticing.

But people who spend more time alone have, according to experts, improved personal exploration, higher levels of creativity, and more social energy.

Why? Because time alone offers you the space to focus solely on yourself. Which is a fundamental part of self-growth and self-development.

And people with these traits also have high EQ.

So if you love a little bit of me-time – kicking back on the sofa, settling down with a good book, or exploring a new area by yourself – you probably have high emotional intelligence, too.

8) They talk about their feelings

Finally, one of the most common habits of people with emotional intelligence is an innate ability to talk about their feelings.

Being able to identify your emotions is one thing (which takes a ton of self-awareness to do right).

But being able to talk about how you feel is a whole different ballgame! It takes inner strength and a willingness to be vulnerable.

People with high EQ know the importance of opening up (i.e., it helps them process their emotions, resolve conflict, and move on from trauma).

Even though it isn’t always easy for you to trust people when you have high EQ, you know how to talk about your feelings properly.

And it’s something you just do in your everyday life!

Final thoughts

Being emotionally intelligent may just come naturally to you. But it isn’t a skill that everyone has or acquires throughout their lives.

It is, however, a great skill to have.

You might be a bit of an overthinker, and your understanding nature can sometimes lead you to forgive (and forget) when you really shouldn’t.

But overall, it’s a good thing to have high emotional intelligence!

So if you recognize some or all of these habits in yourself, there’s a good chance you’re an emotionally intelligent person – and you’re probably doing way better in life than you think!