The art of kindness: 10 habits that make you a really lovely person

We often hear about the traits that successful people possess, but what about the qualities that make someone genuinely lovely?

Believe it or not, simple habits can transform you into a person that everyone adores.

How do you know if what you’re doing is genuinely spreading joy, or if it’s simply lost in the sea of everyday hurriedness?

After reflecting on my journey and the actions of those I consider truly lovely people, I’ve compiled a list of 10 habits that seem to be common among them.

If you’re looking to enhance your kindness quotient and brighten someone’s day, these habits might be just what you need to embrace.

1) Practice active listening

It’s easy to hear. But listening? That’s an art.

In the flurry of our daily lives, we often find ourselves in conversations where we’re simply waiting for our turn to speak. But being a lovely person requires more than just hearing words.

Active listening involves fully focusing on the speaker, understanding their message, responding thoughtfully and withholding judgement.

This form of listening is a gift you give to another person – the gift of your undivided attention, empathy and respect.

People who practice active listening are not just perceived as kind; they are also trusted and deeply appreciated.

So the next time you’re engaged in a conversation, try really listening.

You might be surprised at what you learn, and how much closer it brings you to others.

2) Show empathy with others

Empathy isn’t something we’re born with; it’s something we cultivate over time through our own experiences and understanding others’.

Once, I had a colleague who was going through a tough time personally. She wasn’t her usual bubbly self and seemed downcast for days on end.

Instead of brushing it off or ignoring it, I approached her and simply said, “I’m here if you need to talk.”

That small act of empathy made a world of difference to her. She later told me how much she appreciated my support during her rough patch.

3) Perform random acts of kindness

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “It’s the little things that count.” Well, when it comes to spreading kindness, this couldn’t be truer.

Lovely people have a knack for performing small, random acts of kindness that can have a big impact on others. This might be as simple as holding the door open for someone, leaving a positive note for a coworker, or helping an elderly neighbor with their groceries.

These acts may seem insignificant to you, but to the receiver, they can completely turn around a bad day and serve as a powerful reminder that there is goodness in the world.

So don’t underestimate the power of a kind gesture, no matter how small. You never know how much it could mean to someone else.

4) Practice gratitude

Did you know that the simple act of expressing gratitude can actually make you happier?

Yes, it’s true. Gratitude has been linked to increased levels of happiness and well-being. But lovely people don’t practice gratitude for its mental health benefits alone.

They do it because it helps them appreciate the beauty in everything around them.

By taking a moment each day to reflect on what you’re thankful for, you not only brighten your own outlook, but also bring positivity into the lives of those around you.

A simple “thank you” can make someone’s day and remind them that their efforts are appreciated.

5) Allow others to be themselves

We live in a world that often pressures us to conform, to fit into pre-set molds and expectations. It can be exhausting trying to be what everyone else wants you to be.

Lovely people understand this. They don’t try to change others to fit their own image or preferences. Instead, they allow others the freedom to be themselves, quirks and all.

This doesn’t mean they condone negative behavior or harmful actions. It simply means they recognize and respect individuality.

They understand that everyone has their own path and struggles and that it’s not their place to impose their own beliefs or expectations on others.

Be someone who appreciates people for who they are, not who you want them to be.

Give them the space to express themselves without judgment.

You’ll find it not only makes you a kinder person, but also brings a rich variety of perspectives and experiences into your life.

6) Give compliments freely

Besides allowing others to be themselves, another act that makes you a really lovely person is giving compliments to others. 

I remember a time when I was feeling particularly low. I’d had a tough day and was questioning my worth.

Out of the blue, a friend complimented me on a project I’d completed recently.

It was unexpected and it completely turned my day around. I realized the power a simple compliment could hold.

Now, I make a point to compliment others whenever I see something praiseworthy.

It’s such a simple act, but it can make a world of difference to someone’s day. 

7) Learn to say no

You might think that saying yes to everything and everyone is the key to being a lovely person. But the truth is, knowing when and how to say no is equally important.

Saying yes when you want to say no can lead to resentment and burnout. It’s not kind or respectful to yourself, and it can also be damaging to your relationships.

Lovely people understand the value of their own time and energy. They know that they can’t be there for others if they’re not taking care of themselves first.

Don’t be afraid to say no when you need to. It doesn’t make you selfish or unkind.

On the contrary, it shows that you value your own well-being, which is a crucial step towards being able to genuinely care for others.

8) Practice forgiveness

Holding onto grudges is like carrying a heavy backpack wherever you go. It’s tiring, it’s burdensome, and it prevents us from moving forward freely.

Lovely people have mastered the art of forgiveness. They understand that holding onto anger and resentment only harms them in the long run. That’s why they choose to let go.

Practicing forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning the hurtful act. It simply means making a conscious decision to release the feelings of resentment or vengeance toward the person or group who has harmed you.

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It frees you from the past and enables you to embrace the future with an open heart.

9) Respect boundaries

Understanding and respecting other people’s boundaries is an essential aspect of being a lovely person.

Whether it’s physical space, personal time, or emotional boundaries, acknowledging these limits shows that you respect the individuality and autonomy of others.

It may seem simple, but being mindful of boundaries can greatly improve your relationships, making you a considerate and caring person that others truly appreciate.

10) Practice self-love

Last but certainly not least, being kind to yourself is a habit that makes you a lovely person.

It might seem surprising, but the way you treat yourself sets the tone for how others perceive and treat you.

By practicing self-love and compassion, you show that you value your own well-being and are able to extend the same kindness to others.

It’s not about being selfish or narcissistic; it’s about acknowledging your worth and respecting your own needs.

So, take care of yourself, be patient with your growth, and remember to celebrate your accomplishments.

When you love yourself, that love radiates outwards, making you a truly delightful presence in any room.

The ripple effect of kindness

Kindness is more than just a personal attribute – it’s a powerful force that can create ripples of positivity, impacting not just the recipient, but also the observer and even the giver.

When you perform an act of kindness, it doesn’t just stop with the person receiving it.

Onlookers who witness the act are also likely to be touched and inspired to do something kind themselves. This is known as the ripple effect of kindness and it’s a beautiful thing to behold.

Moreover, being kind doesn’t just benefit others. It’s also incredibly rewarding for the person being kind. Kindness can boost your mood, reduce stress, and even improve your physical health.

It brings a sense of satisfaction and well-being that’s hard to match with any other action.

If you want to be a lovely person, start by cultivating these habits in your daily life. Remember, every act of kindness matters, no matter how small. You never know how far your ripples of kindness might reach.