If someone displays these 9 traits, they’re really exhausting to be around

We all know them – those individuals who just seem to drain our energy every time we interact with them. They’re the ones who can make a room feel heavy and leave you feeling emotionally exhausted.

So, how can you spot these energy vampires? It’s all about identifying certain traits they exhibit.

In this article, I’ll break down the nine telltale signs that someone may be more exhausting to be around than they’re worth.

This isn’t about making snap judgments or labeling people, but rather, it’s about recognizing the signs and protecting your own emotional wellbeing.

Let’s get started. 

1) Constant negativity

We all have bad days, and sometimes, a good venting session is just what we need. But there’s a difference between sharing struggles and being consistently negative.

Those who constantly dwell in negativity can be incredibly exhausting to be around. They always see the glass as half empty and rarely express gratitude for the good things in life.

This perpetual pessimism can take a toll on your own mood, leaving you feeling drained and downcast. Being around them feels like being in a rain cloud that never clears.

It’s crucial to remember that while we can lend an empathetic ear, it’s not our job to fix their outlook on life.

It’s perfectly okay to distance yourself from continual negativity in order to protect your own mental and emotional wellbeing.

2) They’re always the victim

Boy, do I have a story about this one. I once had a friend, let’s call her Jane. Jane was always the victim of every scenario. It didn’t matter if it was a minor inconvenience or a major problem, she always found a way to make herself the innocent party wronged by the world.

Every time we talked, it seemed like she had a new tale of woe to share. Jane was always the one who was treated unfairly at work, misunderstood by her friends, or let down by family. It was impossible for her to see that maybe, just maybe, she might have been the common denominator.

Being around Jane became incredibly tiring. Conversations were never balanced and turned into therapy sessions rather than friendly chats. It’s draining to be around someone who is constantly playing the victim and never takes responsibility for their actions or mistakes.

Watch out for the perpetual victims in your life. Their inability to face reality can quickly turn your relationship into a one-way street of emotional support.

3) They’re overly dramatic

Did you know that human brains are wired to pay more attention to dramatic events? It’s a survival mechanism, really.

Our ancestors needed to react quickly to sudden changes in their environment, such as the appearance of a predator or the onset of a storm.

Fast forward to today, and we find people who have a flair for turning everyday occurrences into high-stakes drama. They have a knack for blowing things out of proportion and creating a scene over minor issues.

Being around these drama kings and queens can be exhausting. It’s like being stuck in a soap opera that never ends. You’re always on high alert, bracing yourself for their next emotional performance.

Life is dramatic enough without adding extra theatrics. Surround yourself with people who can handle situations calmly and rationally instead of those who thrive on creating drama.

4) They’re constantly critical

Criticism, when constructive, can be a valuable tool for growth. However, people who are constantly critical can quickly become a drain on your energy.

These individuals seem to find fault in everything – your choices, your opinions, even your successes. Nothing is ever good enough for them, and they’re quick to point out every flaw and mistake.

What’s worse, their incessant critiques are often disguised as ‘just being honest’ or ‘trying to help’. But in reality, it’s a thinly-veiled attempt to undermine your confidence or assert their superiority.

Being around constant criticism can erode your self-esteem and leave you second-guessing your decisions. So, watch out for these relentlessly critical individuals – their negativity isn’t a reflection of you, but of their own dissatisfaction.

5) They’re self-centered

We all love to share about ourselves and our experiences, it’s human nature. But there’s a line between healthy self-expression and outright self-centeredness.

Self-centered individuals often dominate conversations, turning every topic back to themselves. They have little interest in your life or your feelings, unless it somehow relates to them.

Being around these people can feel like being stuck in a one-sided relationship. You’re there to listen and support, but when it’s your turn to share, they’re nowhere to be found.

Relationships should be a balance of give and take. If you notice someone always making themselves the center of attention, it might be time to reassess the energy you’re investing in that relationship.

6) They’re unapologetically manipulative

Manipulation is a serious red flag in any relationship. It’s a toxic trait that leaves you feeling used and emotionally drained.

Manipulative people know how to twist situations to their advantage. They play on your emotions, guilt-trip you, or use your insecurities against you. Their goal? To control you and the situation to serve their own needs.

The sad part is, they often disguise their manipulation as concern or affection, making it even harder to recognize and resist.

Being in the presence of a manipulative person can be incredibly exhausting. It’s like being in a constant battle of wits and emotions.

Everyone deserves respect and honesty in their relationships. Don’t let anyone play games with your feelings or make you question your worth. You’re so much more than a pawn in someone else’s game.

7) They’re incessantly negative

I’ve had my share of struggles with self-esteem and positivity. It’s something I’ve worked hard on and continue to work on daily. Despite the progress I’ve made, I find it gets knocked down a few pegs when I’m around consistently negative people.

Those who constantly focus on the worst-case scenario, who find fault in every situation, who never seem to see the silver lining – their negativity can be infectious. It can seep into your thoughts, your mood, your overall outlook on life.

Being around incessant negativity is not just exhausting; it can be damaging to your own mental health.

Surrounding yourself with positive influences is key to maintaining your own positivity. Don’t let someone else’s cloud obscure your sun.

8) They’re always right

We all know someone who just can’t admit when they’re wrong. They’re the ones who turn every disagreement into a debate, and every debate into a fight.

Their need to be right often trumps the feelings of those around them. They bulldoze through conversations, dismiss others’ perspectives, and rarely, if ever, admit to mistakes or misunderstandings.

Being around these ‘always right’ individuals can be mentally draining. It stifles open communication and creates an environment of tension and conflict.

It’s okay to agree to disagree. Relationships are about understanding and respect, not winning an argument. So, don’t let someone’s stubbornness exhaust you or belittle your views.

9) They lack empathy

At the core of any healthy relationship is empathy. It allows us to understand and share the feelings of others, to comfort in times of sorrow, and to rejoice in times of joy.

However, when someone lacks this fundamental trait, it can feel like you’re dealing with a brick wall. They dismiss your feelings, fail to recognize your needs, and show little regard for your experiences.

Being around someone who lacks empathy can be incredibly draining. Without this emotional connection, interactions often feel shallow and unsatisfying.

Remember, you deserve to be heard, understood, and valued. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.

Final thoughts: It’s about energy exchange

The complexities of human behavior are often deeply intertwined with our mental and emotional states.

One important aspect to remember is that relationships are about energy exchange. We all have days when we’re the ones needing more support, and that’s okay. But if it becomes a consistent pattern, where one person is always taking and never giving back, it can result in an exhausting and unbalanced relationship.

These nine traits we’ve discussed are telltale signs that someone might be depleting your energy. Recognizing them is the first step in protecting your emotional wellbeing.

However, it’s also crucial to remember that people can change and grow. If someone in your life exhibits these traits, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a lost cause. Honest communication about how their behavior affects you could spark a journey of self-improvement for them.

In the end, we all deserve relationships that fuel us, not drain us. So, take a moment to reflect on the energy exchanges in your life – are they balanced? And if not, what steps can you take to protect your peace and happiness?