If someone displays these 12 behaviors, they have a toxic personality

Red flags.

That’s what we need to always be on the lookout for.

Life is short, and spending it with people who are happy to use and abuse you without a second thought shouldn’t even be in question.

I’m talking about people who will drag you down, make you suffer, bring you deep unhappiness… and for what?

In the end, they’ll move on and do the same to someone else.

If someone displays these 12 behaviors, they have a toxic personality, and they’re a person to stay away from at all costs.

Protect your happiness by giving these people the cold shoulder and keeping your distance like you would with a deadly viper.

They’re just as poisonous.

1) They lie

If someone is constantly lying and masking the truth, they either have a personality disorder or they’re just toxic.

I was in a relationship like this once where it became apparent after a while that pretty much nothing she said was true. Not fully, anyway.

It became almost like a game once I started to realize what was happening. She’d tell stories one day, and then a few days later, the plots, characters, and locations would be so changed around that it was just about beyond belief.

What was unbelievable, though, was that she still wanted me to buy it all.

I couldn’t stand being lied to constantly. All it said to me was that she didn’t respect my intelligence and placed no value on my trust because she had no problem throwing it away at every opportunity.

2) They act like you’re inferior

People with toxic personalities will often talk down to you and patronize you.

Look, I know that when you gain age and experience, it’s sometimes hard not to treat other people like they’re naïve or inexperienced. 

But talking down to them like they’re idiots is a whole other thing entirely.

When I was a young guy just coming up, I met people who talked to me with patience and wisdom. But there were others who just treated me with disrespect by talking down to me.

When people do this, they are being disrespectful and don’t seem to care at all. But it shows you that they’re toxic and don’t know how to treat people with basic decency.

3) They gaslight you

Gaslighting is an attempt to really control you by attacking your sense of reality. 

People who use this technique will deny that they did or said things that you clearly remember. If they do it successfully, they’ll be able to confuse you and make you doubt yourself.

Eventually, this will seriously chip away at your self-esteem, making you even easier to control.

This is one of the number one tools of manipulators, and if someone displays this behavior, they definitely have a toxic personality.

4) They’re overwhelmingly negative

There’s not just one toxic personality out there. 

Instead, there are lots of different types who can be toxic and infectious. One of the most common is a Negative Nancy.

This kind of person is almost completely negative all the time.

Think of Eeyeore from Winnie the Pooh, who always had a negative comment to make for every situation. People like this have the ability to make it feel like it’s raining only on them until their negativity starts to infect you, too.

Then you’d better get an umbrella, too, or just get far away from them!

5) They drain your energy

The people I’m thinking about here are the sort that need more attention than you can possibly give.

No matter how much attention and positivity you give them, they can’t quite seem to get enough.

We can also call people like this energy vampires because of how they suck not blood but the joy right out of your life.

In the end, you’re left feeling wiped out and unhappy while they seem a lot more perked up as they leave your drained corpse and search for their next victim.

6) They always impose

Toxic people have something in common in the way they treat others.

It’s as though we’re all chess pieces in their games of life, and you’d better realize that they don’t see you as anything more than a lowly pawn.

Are you a kind, caring soul?

Great!

They’ll take advantage of that fact as soon as they realize it.

Everyone knows that people have boundaries, but people who don’t care about crossing them show that they care nothing for others.

If you meet one of these toxic people, you’d better call in reinforcements!

7) They always put themselves first

The California band Me First and the Gimme Gimmes nailed one of the funniest names around.

It’s hilarious, at least, until you realize that there really are people who could easily have exactly the same name.

These are people who always put their own needs, wants, desires, and, let’s face it, even their entertainment before the wellbeing of others.

They’re so self-centered that they fail to recognize just how selfish they are. They can’t see past their own spectacles!

Selfish people are toxic because they’ll always choose themselves first and you last.

8) They take but don’t give

A lot of people fall into the category of being givers. These are people who seem to do more in their friendships and romantic relationships than the other halves.

They’re generally really happy, friendly, and generous.

Then there are the takers, people who are happy to be given support, love, and attention without feeling like they should reciprocate.

They don’t care about equality or balance in their relationships, so if you do, stay away.

9) They’re controlling

If you’re in a relationship with a person with a toxic personality, you can definitely expect them to try to control all aspects of your life.

They’ll start by pulling you in close to show that they care about you. But then they won’t let you go, and you’ll start to feel suffocated.

They’ll demand to know where you are and who you’re with all the time. They’ll try to convince you to always do the things they want to do and make you feel bad when you don’t.

You’ll realize at some point that you’re not even yourself anymore after they pressure you to look and act the way they want.

But just because you’re not in a romantic relationship with someone doesn’t mean they can’t try to control you.

If someone gets jealous and angry when you spend time with others instead of them, that’s a form of emotional manipulation and control.

Even insisting that you always come to their place and they never come to yours could be them trying to assert control over your friendship by claiming the home court advantage.

10) They always win

Whether they play at home or away doesn’t seem to really matter to toxic people, though.

Because they love to compete, but of course, only when they know they can win.

I went to college with a guy like this who would always challenge people to little bets and competitions that he always won.

Clever?

Sly, maybe.

If you watched carefully, he’d always plan out his competitions first, like when he bet his Spanish study group he could translate lines in a book the fastest.

They were impressed, but I’d seen him thumbing carefully through the book before they all met up!

11) They show off

Why would you want to spend time with people who make you feel like you’re worth less than them?

It seems incredible, but there are actually lots of people who go around showing off their wealth and success for no apparent reason other than to show how much more they have than others.

Yet, if these people really have enough, they end up with people still hovering around them. They’re able to behave any way they want, and their hangers-on stick around and put up with pretty much anything.

I guess they’re hoping that somehow they might catch some of the crumbs, and that’s enough.

But for the most part, someone who’s an incorrigible showoff is just going to make other people feel bad.

12) They never apologize

They’ll put you through the wringer, and at the end of it all, they’ll never apologize.

Toxic people seem not to realize how toxic they are. It’s as though they’re the source of some terrible disease, and everyone keeps dropping dead around them, but they just don’t get that it’s them who’s spreading it.

People who lack all accountability are basically toxic by definition.

No matter what they do wrong, they’ll always try to wiggle out of it so that nothing sticks to them.

But they’ll let you take the blame, of course.

They’re generous that way.

Final thoughts

If someone displays some of these 12 behaviors, they have a toxic personality.

And the more they display, the more toxic they probably are.

So grab a checklist and your sneakers and start ticking boxes – but be prepared to run!