If someone displays these 14 behaviors, they truly appreciate you

Truth be told, we all want to feel valued and appreciated. 

Whether it be family, friends, romantic partners, or professional associations, it’s always heartwarming to know we are a cherished part of the relationship. 

But how do you distinguish between lip service and genuine appreciation? 

I hate to sound cliche, but the answer lies in their actions: yes, the age-old action speaks louder than words come into play.

So if someone displays these 14 behaviors, they truly appreciate you and genuinely value your role in their lives.

1) They include you

Do they carefully pick their words to ensure respect for your personal identity? Do they intentionally make time to understand your cultural background or heritage? 

Do they invite you to relevant life events? Do they ask you to participate in meaningful conversations?

Do they involve you in their decision-making? Do they consider your needs and interests when planning for the future? 

Nothing says “you are valued” more than inclusivity.

So if someone behaves like any of the above towards you, believe me when I say:

That person truly appreciates you.

2) They ask for your opinion

We’ve already established that involving you in significant conversations and decision-making is a sign of someone’s appreciation of you.

But let’s dig a little deeper:

When someone actively seeks your opinion, they’re telling you they respect your intellect, experience, and perspective. 

It’s their subtle way of suggesting that they believe your input is valuable enough to impact their decisions and further actions. 

I see it as an act of respect that not only shows appreciation, but also cements your role as an active player in that relationship.

3) They actively listen

Isn’t it annoying when people just hear you instead of actively listening to what you’re trying to say?

The good news is:

People who genuinely appreciate you will never behave this way. 

You have their full attention when you speak – they make eye contact, they ask questions, and they give appropriate responses – the works. 

Come to think of it, I might have just unlocked a life hack right there:

How to weed out those who truly appreciate you from those who don’t? Just talk and look at who actively listens.

4) They respect your boundaries

Another behavior to look out for in people that genuinely appreciate you is when they respect your boundaries.

Your personal boundaries are set by you, for you. So when someone respects it, that’s a very clear indication that they value you.

It’s like they’re saying, “I appreciate that you are an individual, and I value you enough to know that your comfort, well-being, and personal space are important.”

Sure, not everyone knows and respects your boundaries. But a person who truly appreciates you will take the extra effort to learn and honor them. 

5) They regularly check in on you

Within the bounds of respecting your boundaries, you will notice that a person who truly appreciates you will constantly check on you.

That’s because genuine appreciation and care go hand in hand. So don’t be surprised if they occasionally call or text you to see how you’re doing. 

And here’s the best part:

They will do this even when you’re okay and don’t really need anything. 

Their ulterior motive for checking in on you is nothing more than just their caring and appreciative nature.

6) They’re receptive to your needs

Speaking of needs, here’s something to think about:

Would you invest time and effort to understand and appreciate the needs of others if you don’t intend on keeping them in your life long-term?

That’s the point.

So if someone goes above and beyond to be receptive to your needs, that only means one thing: 

They really value you and intend to keep you in their life for the long haul.

7) They’ve got your back

When you have people in your life that stand up for you, they’re for keeps. 

Why? 

Because to them, you’re the same. 

They step up to protect and support you because they appreciate you in their life and consider you as “for keeps,” too.

8) They don’t keep score

Let’s step back a bit for a reality check: 

Some people cater to your needs and protect and support you because there’s something in it for them.

But again, that’s not the case for people who truly value you.

You’ll know their appreciation of you is real because you’ll never hear them keep score of what they have done for you. 

You also won’t hear them expect or ask for anything in return. 

Everything they do for you is unconditional and are simply gestures of their appreciation, no more, no less.

9) They notice your efforts – all of them

They may not keep track of what they do for you, but they undoubtedly take note of what you do.

Don’t get me wrong:

I don’t mean they’re the stalkerish type – that’s scary and far from being appreciative.

What I’m trying to say is that people who sincerely appreciate you see every effort you make for them and for everyone.

• They notice that you took out the trash without them needing to tell you. 
• They see the thought behind you texting a cheeky friendship quote.
• They’re thankful for the impromptu date night, even if it’s just a movie and popcorn at home.
• They know and acknowledge that you took the time to proofread your team’s presentation just before the client presentation.

I don’t know about you, but for me, noticing the little things gives a more meaningful gesture of gratitude than saying “thank you” for the blatantly obvious and expected stuff.

10) They perform acts of service

On the topic of effort, people who genuinely appreciate you exert some, too.

It can be as grandiose as planning a surprise milestone birthday party for you or as significant as providing financial support when needed. 

But it can also be little acts of service like making your coffee, driving you to the airport, or even simply leaving a sticky note with a positive affirmation on your desk.

No matter how big or small it is, the fact that they exerted the effort is their way of saying they appreciate you.

11) Their hugs and kisses tell you so

Needless to say, this is not applicable in professional relationships. 

But hugs and kisses are one of the most expressive ways for your friends, family, and partners to tell you they appreciate you.

This is especially true when you have teenagers. They may not be vocal about their affection and appreciation because it isn’t “cool” or “trendy,” but their tight hugs surely do.

12) They use their words

Of course, this list won’t be complete without giving credit to the vocal people in your life.

While not many people are good with their words, let’s not forget those who are very vocal in their appreciation.

But there’s a twist:

Just ensure that their words align with their actions.

They can’t say they appreciate you, but they suddenly disappear as soon as you can’t or won’t provide for what they want.

Remember: genuine appreciation is unconditional – no ifs, ands, or buts.

13) They publicize it

Some people don’t just tell you they’re grateful for you. They also sometimes let the whole world know.

This is usually the case in the professional setting. 

And guess what? 

It isn’t always about publicly saying thanks. 

Sometimes, they can show appreciation for you by nominating you for public awards or by writing a piece about you in a newsletter. 

They can also do it by inviting you to share your wisdom (and the great things you do) on a public or social platform like podcasts and vlogs.

Oh, and let’s not forget that Google and Yelp reviews count, too!

14) They speak well of you

While we’re on a roll with being vocal, there’s one more behavior that’s telling of a person who really appreciates you:

Whether you’re in the room or not, someone who values you will have nothing but good words for or about you.

Make no mistake:

We all have flaws, and I’m not saying people who genuinely appreciate you see you as perfect.

What I’m saying is that their appreciation of you pushes them to focus on your positive qualities, and this is what they tend to share and affirm with others. 

Cherish those who cherish you

Genuine appreciation towards someone is about realizing their value and worth.

The behaviors we listed above are proof of that. 

And if you’re one of the lucky ones surrounded by people who behave this way, value them – because they, without a doubt, value you.