If someone displays these 15 behaviors, they’re being self-centered without realizing it

by Yen Tran | August 1, 2024, 1:30 am

Ever wonder if you’re unknowingly acting in a self-centered manner?

Believe me, it’s not uncommon.

We all have those moments where we’re so engrossed in our own world, our own perspective, that we forget to consider others. It’s human nature.

But what if it’s more than just occasional lapses? What if these self-centered behaviors have become a part of who you are without you even realizing it?

Let me assure you, this is not about pointing fingers or making you feel bad. It’s quite the opposite. It’s about self-awareness and growth.

In this article, we’ll uncover 15 behaviors that indicate someone might be more self-centered than they think.

Some may sting a little.

But after all, the first step to change is awareness. So let’s dive in, shall we?

1) They’re always the main character

Ever notice how some people tend to always talk about themselves?

I remember a friend of mine, let’s call him John.

We’d meet for coffee and all he’d talk about was his life, his job, his problems.

I’d nod and listen, but there was never a point where he’d ask about my day or how I was coping with things.

That’s when I realized this. When you’re always the main character in your stories and don’t show genuine interest in others, it’s a clear sign of being self-centered.

2) They lack empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

It requires us to put our own feelings and experiences aside in order to truly connect with someone else’s perspective.

For someone who is self-centered, this can be a significant challenge.

They might struggle to fully grasp your feelings or experiences, especially if they differ significantly from their own.

In conversations, they may seem distracted or uninterested when you’re expressing your emotions or recounting experiences that don’t involve them.

This lack of empathy is not always intentional.

They might simply be so absorbed in their own world that they struggle to step outside of it and connect with yours. If this behavior is consistent, it could be a sign of unconscious self-centeredness.

3) They’re great listeners

Surprisingly, being a good listener can sometimes be a sign of self-centered behavior.

This may appear contradictory to my earlier point, but let me explain.

While people with compassion listen to understand, these individuals listen to reply. That is how you differentiate a self-center.

If someone is always eager to listen to your problems and offer advice, it might not be because they’re genuinely concerned about you.

Instead, it’s because…

4) They’re overly generous with advice

Someone who is self-centered without realizing it, might frequently offer unsolicited advice or insist on their way of doing things because they believe that their methods or opinions are superior.

This kind of behavior can make it feel as though they’re not truly listening to you or respecting your ability to make your own decisions.

Instead, they’re focusing on their own thoughts and experiences, assuming that what works for them will automatically work for you too.

While it’s natural for friends and loved ones to give advice from time to time, if someone consistently imposes their solutions without considering your feelings or circumstances, it might be an indication of unconscious self-centeredness.

5) They’re overly competitive

Competition can be a healthy motivator, but when someone is overly competitive, it can be a sign of self-centeredness.

If they’re always trying to outdo others, or if they can’t handle losing gracefully, it could be because they’re overly focused on their own success and image.

This competitive nature might not just be limited to games or sports – it could also show up in conversations, where they feel the need to always have the last word or the best story.

This constant need to “win” can be a sign that they’re being self-centered without even realizing it.

6) They rarely express genuine gratitude

Gratitude is a simple but powerful expression of acknowledging others and their contributions.

However, if someone seldom expresses sincere thanks, it could be a sign that they’re self-centered.

Whether it’s overlooking the effort someone put into a gift or not appreciating the time you took out for them, this lack of gratitude shows a focus on themselves rather than on the kindness of others.

It’s important to remember that everyone forgets to say “thank you” sometimes, but a consistent lack of gratitude could point towards self-centered behavior.

7) They often interrupt others

Communication is a two-way street. If someone constantly interrupts others during conversations, it’s a clear sign of self-centered behavior.

By doing so, they’re indicating that what they have to say is more important than what the other person is saying.

This lack of respect for others’ thoughts and opinions shows a focus on their own interests and a disregard for others.

It’s natural to occasionally interject in the heat of an engaging conversation, but chronic interruption is definitely a red flag.

8) They struggle to celebrate others’ success

Here’s a personal story I want to share.

My cousin recently got promoted at her job. Rather than being happy for her, I found myself feeling envious. Why wasn’t I achieving the same success?

This was a wake-up call for me. If you find it difficult to be genuinely happy for others when they succeed, it could indicate that you’re focusing too much on yourself and not enough on the people around you.

Both these behaviors aren’t about intentionally hurting others, rather they reveal an unconscious tendency towards self-centeredness.

But don’t worry, recognizing them is the first step to change!

9) They often play the victim

Life isn’t always fair, and we all face hardships.

However, if someone consistently portrays themselves as the victim, it could point to self-centered behavior.

This isn’t about discounting genuine struggles or misfortune, but rather identifying a pattern where someone always shifts the blame onto others and never takes responsibility for their own actions or mistakes.

This constant deflection is a way to keep the attention on themselves and avoid accountability.

10) They often make decisions without consulting others

Everyone values their independence and the ability to make their own choices.

But when you notice someone frequently makes decisions that affect others without consulting them, it’s a clear sign of self-centeredness.

Whether it’s choosing a restaurant without asking your preference or making plans for the weekend without checking with you first, this disregard for others’ opinions and desires shows a lack of consideration.

It’s important to remember that respect involves consideration and consultation in shared decisions.

11) They tend to overlook the emotions of others

Imagine a friend sharing their troubles with you, pouring their heart out, and all you can think about is what you’re going to have for dinner. Sounds harsh, doesn’t it?

But sometimes, without even realizing it, we might be so caught up in our world that we overlook the emotions of others.

If you find it hard to empathize with others or you often miss the emotional cues of people around you, it could indicate self-centeredness.

After all, empathy is about stepping outside of our own experiences to understand and feel what someone else is going through.

But don’t beat yourself up over it. The fact that you’re reading this shows you care and want to change. And that’s a great place to start.

12) They disregard boundaries

Respecting boundaries is crucial in all relationships.

And it’s clearly another sign of self-centeredness if someone often disregards your boundaries, whether they’re emotional, physical, or time-related.

Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect and an understanding of each other’s boundaries. Disregarding these boundaries is a clear indication of self-centered behavior.

It implies that the person is not attuned to your needs, emotions, or the limitations you’ve set.

Instead, they prioritize their own desires, displaying a lack of consideration for your well-being.

13) They often forget important details about you

In any relationship, remembering the little things can be a big deal.

If someone consistently forgets important details about your life – your birthday, your food preferences, the name of your pet – it might indicate that they are more focused on themselves than they are on you.

This unconscious self-centeredness may not come from a place of malice, but rather from a lack of awareness or consideration.

They might simply be preoccupied with their own thoughts, concerns, or activities, and fail to pay attention to the details that matter to you.

14) They have a hard time admitting when they’re wrong

Admitting fault is not easy. It takes a lot of humility and courage to own up to your mistakes.

But did you know that an inability to admit when you’re wrong is actually linked to narcissism, a trait often associated with self-centeredness?

People high in narcissism tend to avoid admitting their mistakes, as it threatens their self-image.

If you find yourself constantly justifying your actions or blaming others instead of owning your mistakes, it could be a sign that you’re more self-centered than you realize.

15) They have a sense of entitlement

Entitlement is a notable characteristic of self-centered individuals.

This sense of entitlement indicates a belief that their needs and desires take precedence over the needs of others.

They anticipate special treatment and assume that others should prioritize their wishes without question.

This behavior can create challenges in relationships, as it reflects a lack of consideration for the perspectives and needs of those around them.

Recognizing and addressing this sense of entitlement is crucial for fostering healthier interactions and mutual respect.

Final thought

If you’re recognizing these behaviors in yourself, don’t be too hard on yourself.

We all have moments of self-centeredness; what matters is our willingness to acknowledge these moments and make efforts towards change.

Practice mindfulness, empathy, and active listening. Make an effort to remember details about others and show genuine interest in their lives.

Ultimately, dealing with self-centered behavior is about balance – balancing our own needs with those of others, balancing speaking with listening, balancing taking with giving.

It’s a journey and like any journey, it takes time, patience, and a lot of self-reflection.

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