If someone displays these 17 behaviors, they’re probably quite lonely

Do you feel lonely?

Maybe you know you’re among the 44 million people who experience significant loneliness. Maybe you’re not sure. Maybe you’re in active denial. Wherever you are, there’s no doubt that loneliness has no upsides.

If you think you or someone you know is lonely, here are the secret behaviors that could indicate loneliness.

1) They are always busy

Some people like to stay busy, but as Oscar Wilde once said, “Everything in moderation, including moderation.”

There’s a time to put your nose to the grindstone, but if you’re constantly filling your day with activities, you’re not getting the time to connect with others.

That’s why lonely people often fill the void by cramming every minute of the day with activities. But some activities are more destructive than others. Here’s what else lonely people do.

2) They are shopaholics

Excessive spending, especially if it’s out of the blue, is a major red flag that someone is going through something.

According to the Journal of Consumer Research, lonely people become emotionally attached to what they buy. It’s often a replacement for the people in their life that they don’t have.

3) They switch to poor diets

Lonely people aren’t going to put in the effort to cook a large meal for themselves. What’s the point?

Instead, switching to fast food and other processed junk becomes easier. It’s why lonely people often gain weight and see a drop in their overall health.

Plus, if a lonely person has already developed full-blown depression, comfort eating often becomes a factor.

4) They are judgmental of others

Men and women brimming with self-confidence don’t judge because they don’t need to. They’re confident in themselves and where they are in life.

Being overly critical or consistently finding the negative is often done by people who feel the only way to feel good is to bring others down to their level.

But that leads to another trait, which you’ll find out below.

5) They are deserts of emotion

Some people suffer from conditions that make it tough to acknowledge and process their emotions. But being an emotionless desert often indicates a deeper problem.

Lonely people rarely let people in. They won’t share their vulnerabilities for fear of looking weak or being unable to comprehend the concept.

Take Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. Throughout the series, he couldn’t process emotions in himself or others. And that arose from his self-imposed isolation from others growing up.

If you’re afraid to open up, there’s a chance that a lack of human connection is to blame. And these types of people also tend to display the following.

6) They are inflexible thinkers 

Judgmental, emotionless people often bring inflexibility to the dinner party as their plus one. Whatever they say goes, and it’s their way or the highway.

Even when others reach out, they’ll often turn away because the stars haven’t aligned perfectly.  In some cases, loneliness might even come with being a control freak.

And who wants to hang around with someone who won’t budge?

7) They surround themselves with lonely people

Loneliness doesn’t mean staying home in a self-imposed lockdown. Plenty of lonely people have lots of friends.

The problem is that they’re all superficial.

And this is one of the tragedies of this segment of lonely people. They’re surrounded by people who all pine for meaningful relationships. Everyone has the same goal, but nobody is willing to change.

Is loneliness contagious? A ten-year study shows that it can be, with 52% of people who spend time with lonely people being more likely to become lonely themselves.

8) They substitute offline with online relationships

Lonely people draw most of their social interaction from the online world. Whether it’s a WhatsApp chat or an afternoon on Instagram, everyone can call upon cyberspace when they need to talk.

Some may even take this one step further and date virtually or have virtual partners. But it’s no substitute for actual human contact.

Lonely people often choose online over offline relationships because they don’t need to open up in this world.

9) They’re often sick

Mental and emotional anguish has long been associated with physical illness. For example, have you ever noticed people who lose a spouse or a parent seem to gain weight and become sicker during the grieving period?

It doesn’t happen to everybody, but the longer the mental toil lasts, the greater the chance of falling sick.

If you feel awful for no physical reason – and your doctor has given the all-clear – it might be time to look inside yourself.

10) They are extremely forgetful

Countless mental health issues can result in memory impairment and a loss of decision-making skills.

If they forget important dates like birthdays or can’t make the car payment on time to save their lives, it could be a mental health problem. 

And mental health issues, such as depression, which often arises from loneliness, can cause other adverse effects. Let’s explore some of them.

11) They turn minor issues into world-ending catastrophes

Stress is a part of life. But evidence shows that lonely people perceive stressful situations differently from others.

According to Psychology Today, perceived stress levels spike among people who consider themselves lonely.

Suddenly, a late bus is enough to make a lonely person snap.

12) They are always tired

Tiredness and fatigue are all part of being alive. But if you wake up each day wanting to crawl back into bed, this isn’t normal.

According to the National Library of Medicine, the lonesome rest to let the world pass them by. After all, you can’t feel lonely while sleeping the day away.

13) They can’t push themselves in social situations

Nobody likes a flaky friend.

Would you agree to rearrange if someone stands you up on a first date? If not, why would you do the same with a friend or other acquaintance?

Lonely people often commit with the best intentions but can’t draw the strength to follow through on the execution.

When you cancel, people stop asking, and when people stop asking, you only get lonelier. So, why are lonely people so incapable of executing their plans? The answer is below.

14) They find themselves anxious in social situations

Hey, everyone feels a little anxious sometimes. Meeting new colleagues, dating, or giving a public presentation can make even the most confident being wet their pants.

But what isn’t normal is when tasks like picking up groceries or speaking to your best friend become chores.

Lonely people often develop anxiety because they aren’t practicing their social skills over long periods. Let it fester, and it can morph into full-blown agoraphobia, characterized by panic attacks in social environments.

Remember, loneliness is a disease. Allow it to grow unchecked, and the hole only becomes deeper.

15) They make bad company for everybody

Let’s take a look back at our previous points. You have a lonely person who displays all of the above behaviors.

Unfortunately, that makes lonely people just plain unfun to be around. They could be rude, disrespectful, or a natural black cloud that never dissipates.

To the lonely person, every roll of the dice in their lives results in a set of snake eyes looking back at them.

Some people might be genuinely unpleasant, but if you notice a sudden change in a person’s countenance, it could be down to loneliness.

16) They drift from group to group

Similar to lonely people cramming their days with activities, this may be accompanied by drifting from friendship group to friendship group.

Is your family member always with a new set of friends? If so, it could be a sign of loneliness-fueled desperation. They’re trying so desperately to belong that they’re surrounded by people without really belonging at all.

Drifting here, there, and everywhere, like Paris Hilton reborn, isn’t a sign of popularity but a cry for help.

But some lonely people take another path.

17) They are clingy and obsessive

Who hasn’t gone through a bad time and wished with all their hearts that someone would reach out a hand and drag them out of the morass?

We all need a helping hand sometimes, but lonely people will often take the whole arm. Whether it’s gratitude or desperation, loneliness can lead people to become incredibly clingy.

They’ll cling to you like a life raft in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle. And that inevitably ends with you being dragged away with them.

The kicker? They’re still just as lonely as before.

Alone doesn’t have to mean lonely

None of these behaviors can be taken in isolation but must be viewed within a larger context of a person and how they live their life.

Remember, just because someone is alone doesn’t make them lonely. Some people are massively self-reliant and don’t require the same level of human connection. It’s not an illness or something to be concerned about.

What matters is whether you’re being honest with yourself. So, do you consider yourself to be a lonely person?