If someone shows you these 9 signs, they truly respect your boundaries

Respecting boundaries is key to any healthy relationship.

And, it’s not always easy to tell if someone truly respects your boundaries or not.

If you’ve been wondering whether someone in your life respects your boundaries, you’ll soon have a clearer picture.

Stay with me as we delve into the tell-tale signs that someone truly respects your boundaries.

1) They ask for permission

Whether it’s borrowing something from you, making plans that include you, or sharing your personal information with others, they always check in with you first.

This simple act of asking for permission shows that they acknowledge your personal space and your right to control what happens within it. 

But, it’s important to note that this respect needs to be consistent.

A one-off occurrence might be situational, but if they consistently ask for your permission, then you can feel confident that they truly respect your boundaries.

2) They respect your “No”

One of the most critical aspects of boundary-setting is the ability to say “No”.

And equally important is how the other person responds to it.

I remember a time when I was planning a weekend outing with a friend.

I had a certain place in mind that I wanted to visit, but my friend suggested an alternative.

Though their suggestion sounded interesting, I was really keen on my initial idea. So, I said “No” to their suggestion.

Now, here’s the part that showed me they respected my boundaries: instead of trying to persuade me or getting upset, they simply said “Okay, your choice sounds good too”.

3) They don’t overstep your physical boundaries

Even the smallest of physical boundaries can be a telltale sign.

Physical touch is a powerful form of communication, but not everyone is comfortable with the same level of physical contact.

Did you know that in Finland, it’s common to stand about 3 to 4 feet apart while having a conversation, while Italians prefer a much closer distance of about 1 to 2 feet?

Similarly, some people might be comfortable with hugs and touch, while others might prefer to keep a certain physical distance.

4) They respect your time

Time is one of the most valuable resources we have, and how someone treats your time can be a significant indicator of their respect for your boundaries.

On the one hand, if they make a point to be punctual, inform you in advance when they can’t make it, or ask before taking up additional time than initially planned, these are positive signs.

Respecting someone’s time means acknowledging that their schedule is just as important as yours.

It shows an understanding that they also have their own life, commitments, and priorities.

5) They listen to you

Listening is a fundamental aspect of respect. 

Do they pay attention when you speak? Do they show interest in your thoughts and feelings? Do they consider your opinions and ideas? 

You see, respecting boundaries isn’t just about physical space or time. It’s also about mental and emotional space.

When someone listens to you, it shows that they value and respect your viewpoint.

6) They acknowledge your feelings

Feelings are deeply personal, and the way someone responds to your emotions can tell a lot about how much they respect your boundaries.

Imagine you’re having a rough day and you’re sharing your feelings with a friend.

If they dismiss your feelings or make light of your situation, it can feel like they’ve disregarded your emotional boundaries.

On the contrary, if they acknowledge how you’re feeling, even if they can’t fully understand or relate to it, that shows respect.

They’re acknowledging that your emotions are valid and important.

7) They respect your privacy

There was a time when I shared a personal story with a friend, something I hadn’t told many people.

I trusted them with this information, expecting them to keep it to themselves.

A few weeks later, I found out that they had shared my story with others without my consent.

It felt like a betrayal. My boundary of privacy had been crossed.

Privacy is one of those boundaries that’s often taken for granted.

Whether it’s about personal stories, private messages, or information about your past, if someone shares your private information without your consent, they’re not respecting your boundaries.

On the other hand, if they keep your secrets safe, ask before sharing something you told them in confidence, and respect your desire for privacy, they’re showing strong signs of respecting your boundaries.

8) They respect your personal choices

Personal choices, from the trivial to the significant, are a major part of who we are.

And how someone reacts to these choices can be a clear sign of whether they respect your boundaries.

If someone constantly questions your decisions or tries to change your mind, they may not respect your boundaries.

However, if they respect and support your choices, even when they don’t agree with them, they’re showing a deep level of respect for your boundaries.

This respect for your personal choices includes everything from lifestyle decisions, career paths, to the people you choose to associate with.

9) They don’t make you feel guilty for setting boundaries

The most crucial aspect of someone respecting your boundaries is that they won’t make you feel guilty for setting them.

Boundaries aren’t about restricting relationships; they’re about creating a safe and respectful environment. 

On the other hand, if they understand and accept your boundaries without making you feel bad about them, it suggests they truly respect your boundaries.

Final thoughts: It’s about mutual respect

Respecting boundaries isn’t merely about abiding by rules.

It’s about acknowledging the other person’s individuality, their feelings, and their autonomy.

It’s about understanding that each person has their unique comfort zones, and these need to be acknowledged and respected.

In the words of William Ury, a renowned expert in negotiation and author of “Getting to Yes,” he once said, “Respect is not something that you can ask for or demand. Respect is what you give to others.”

So as you move forward, remember this: respect for boundaries is a reflection of respect for the individual.

And that’s a cornerstone in building healthy relationships.