If someone uses these 10 phrases, they’re a really inauthentic person

by Brendan Brown | February 26, 2024, 12:15 am

We’ve all met some people whom we dislike, but we can’t quite put a finger on why. 

Is it the way they speak? The way they act? The way they talk about themselves?

Often, it’s all of the above.

That’s because they fake every one of those. 

They’re always putting on a show in front of other people, often hiding who they truly are because they want to be admired. 

If you’ve ever dealt with someone like this, they’re a really inauthentic person—that’s why you disliked them.

Want to know the 10 phrases used by really inauthentic people? Read more below to learn more.

1) “Trust me, I’m being completely honest.”

When someone constantly tells you this, they’re overcompensating. They’re trying to cover up their lies by telling everyone they’re always being “completely honest.” 

It’s a glaring sign that they’re a really inauthentic person.

People who are truly honest don’t need to constantly say that they are. Even if the truth is difficult, they will always tell it. 

That’s because authenticity is shown through actions, not just words. 

Those who are genuinely honest don’t need to repeatedly say that they are; their consistent behavior speaks for itself. 

Likewise, they don’t have to say they’re the best, because their work simply shows that they are.

2) “I’m always the best at everything I do.”

Someone who consistently boasts about being the best is likely seeking validation

I used to have a friend like this, and they would constantly talk about how they’re the best achievers in class, how they’re the smartest in their family, and sometimes, how they’re definitely smarter than me. 

But when it comes to actually showing their supposed “smarts,” they back down.

They back down from real debates, from real competitions, because they know people will see them as they are—someone who is not as smart as they say.

When someone truly is the best at everything they do, they don’t have to say it. You will just see it from the things they do. 

That’s because authentic people are secure enough about their skills to need constant validation.

But for really inauthentic people, this constant need for validation often translates into spreading gossip just to feel superior.

3) “I never gossip, but have you heard this?”

The classic “I don’t gossip” followed by gossiping makes the alarms sound off for a person who is really inauthentic.

It’s so simple: if they truly never gossip, why follow it up with one? 

An authentic person would never bother gossiping. For them, gossiping is like peddling fake news, because most of the time, the gossip is not even true.

They respect others’ privacy and avoid spreading rumors, because they know how much it could hurt other people’s feelings, which is why they avoid it at all costs.

And because they truly care about the feelings of other people, they don’t use “brutal honesty” as an excuse to talk sh*t about others.

4) “I can’t help that I’m brutally honest.”

When someone says they’re “brutally honest,” they’re usually more interested in being brutal more than in being honest.

Because let’s face it: brutal honesty never helped anyone. 

While honesty is important, being brutal about it is unnecessary. And people who choose to be brutally honest is telling on themselves as inauthentic people. 

Authenticity means telling the truth with sensitivity, without using being “brutally honest” as an excuse to be mean or to hurt other people’s feelings. 

5) “I’m not trying to brag, but…”

People who have achieved real milestones are entitled to brag, that’s for sure.

Bragging doesn’t have to be a bad thing, because it means owning up to your successes. But people who constantly brag tend to make everything a competition.

But if someone’s constantly showing off—and maybe even lying about their achievements just for the sake of bragging—they’re a really inauthentic person.

They only use it to downplay other people’s achievements, and that goes to show that they’re really inauthentic.

6) “I never judge others, but that’s so embarrassing.”

When someone says this, they’re a really inauthentic person—it’s clear as day.

If you’re really genuine as a person, you won’t even have to say you never judge others; much more that what someone did is “embarrassing.”

Not judging others means being patient with their mistakes, knowing that that’s it—simple mistakes.

It also means knowing that everyone has room for improvement and is capable of change. 

If someone’s a bad person now, a truly authentic person won’t judge, because they know it’s completely possible for them to change.

7) “I don’t care what people think about me.”

Let’s face it: everyone of us, to some degree, cares about what other people think of us, especially those we look up to. 

And if you disagree because you think you don’t, I have some bad news for you. 

While self-confidence is important, constantly claiming not to care about others’ opinions can signal insecurity and, sometimes, inauthenticity.

Because sometimes, when a person says they don’t care what others think, it means they don’t care if they hurt or step on other people because they don’t care about their feelings.

And because they don’t care enough about other’s feelings, their attempts to “help” are often fake. They’re just using it so they wouldn’t look bad in your eyes.

8) “I’m just trying to help, even if you didn’t ask.”

People who are really inauthentic tend to say this to others when they’re giving unsolicited advice. 

Pushing unsolicited advice might be because of a need to appear helpful or emotionally intelligent.

This one can be particularly annoying, because you’re basically being pushed to feel a sense of indebtedness over something you didn’t even ask for.

But truly authentic people respect boundaries, and only offer help when it’s asked for and when it’s genuinely needed.

So when someone uses this phrase on you, they’re a really inauthentic person.

Because people who are genuine will help you without asking for anything in return. They won’t keep score. Most of all, they won’t say to your face that you owe them. 

For them, you will always owe them, but they will never owe you. That’s why they always refuse hanging out with you, because they thing they don’t owe you their time. 

9) “I’m so busy, I don’t have time to hang out with you.”

If you ask someone to hang out with you and they always tell you this, that might be a sign that they’re really inauthentic (especially if they say it meanly). 

Often, they’re only using being “busy” as an excuse. If they really don’t want to hang out, why not just say it? 

If you’re with an authentic person who genuinely cares about you, they will make time for you. If they have to turn you down, they will say it and the real reason why.

Even when they’re not available to hang out often, they will make it up to you because they care about you.

10) “I’m a self-made success, no one helped me.”

When someone says they’re self-made without acknowledging the privilege they have that helped them succeed, they a really inauthentic person.

Being self-made is admirable, for sure. But we also have to take into consideration the privilege we have and the help we got from other people that helped us succeed.

Outrightly saying that no one helped you—in front of the people that helped you—is a blatant sign of inauthenticity. 

It doesn’t only make you unlikeable or insufferable; it makes you fake. 

Final thoughts

Knowing the signs of a really inauthentic person is important. 

They’re hard to deal with, certainly, but it’s important because we all have to find real people who will always be honest with us.

Those who will not step all over you just to feel good about themselves, or who will blatantly lie about their lives—and sometimes, downplay your achievements—just to be admired by other people. 

Remember that life is better shared with people who are genuine. That way, you can find happiness and enjoyment in each other’s company.

Related: 13 questions you should never ask someone (because it’s not really your business)

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