If someone uses these 6 trick phrases, they’re trying to control the narrative

Master manipulators trying to control the narrative appear under many guises. They can be your partner, a friend, a family member, a coworker, or just about anyone you encounter.  

In many circumstances, these Sneaky Petes turn out to be narcissists. Once a narcissist gets their hooks in you, they can’t help but show their true selves. 

Once a narc has love-bombed you into submission, the put-downs will begin. Almost overnight, they criticize the things about their partner that they once found endearing … or so they said at the time, anyway. Their mission now is to obliterate their partner’s self-confidence.

Narcissists project their shortcomings on others while victimizing themselves, or scapegoat someone else to distract from focusing on a deficiency of their own. 

If you’ve ever had to deal with a narc, you know just how harrowing it is. If you ever encounter another, here are some tell-tale phrases that you’re dealing with a narc who’s trying to exploit and manipulate you. 

1)”I trust you, it’s other people I worry about”

A manipulative person, especially a romantic partner, wants to control everything you do. They’ll reassure you that it’s not you that they don’t trust, it’s everyone else on the planet that’s the problem. So they “protect” you by:

• Checking your phone
• Creeping your social media 
• Investigating your friends
• Discouraging you from hanging out with anyone but them

This “protectiveness” makes you appear unreasonable when you question their actions. They’re just trying to keep you safe! Why are you so ungrateful? 

But question a narc you should, because their reasoning is nonsensical. After all, if some shady interloper can talk you into betraying your partner, you were never that trustworthy in the first place.

Look, if they genuinely trust you, No one else’s actions should matter. Treating you like a child is not only unnecessary but disrespectful.   

My ex used to time how long I was at the grocery store. No one deserves to live like that, and no one knows what’s best for you better than you do, no matter what they tell you.

2) “Just trust me – I know what’s best!”

A manipulator wants to pull your strings and will do so under the guise of looking out for you. Narcs will pull out all the stops to convince you that they want the best for you when in reality they really don’t care as long as they get what they want.

Everyone can benefit from outside input on occasion, but you are still the one who knows yourself best. 

A narc doesn’t give the tiniest hoot about what’s best for you – it’s about what’s best for them, always. They are selfish to the core so you are nothing but a means to an end to them.

You deserve to be heard and your feelings matter just as much as your partner’s. It’s the reddest of red flags if they are unwilling to talk it out and reach a mutually acceptable compromise but resort to cheap tricks like this instead. 

Put up and state your boundaries clearly. It’s ridiculously insulting for someone to presume they know what’s best for another adult. It’s manipulative and controlling. 

Refuse to be infantilized by a narcissist, or you can wallow in regret later. There are no other choices. 

And don’t be surprised when, after asserting yourself, you’re accused of being too sensitive or downright crazy. 

3) “You’re too sensitive!”

Welcome to the wonderful world of gaslighting, where second-guessing yourself and your sanity is just par for the course.  

When your favorite narc is on a roll and you call it out to address it like an adult, a manipulator will belittle you for reaction, saying things like:

• Calm down, can’t you take a joke?
• You’re acting totally crazy right now.
• Stop being so sensitive!
• You’re misunderstanding what I said!
• Nothing you’re saying makes sense.
• You really need to lighten up a bit.
• Why are you being so unreasonable?

Maddening!

It’s no surprise that narcissists and other manipulative types prey on empathic, emotionally intelligent people. Being sensitive isn’t a crime to begin with, and it shouldn’t be a point of contention when you’re raising a valid concern.

Gaslighting can make you feel like you’re overreacting or even going crazy.  It’s an oft-used manipulation tactic from the narc handbook to make you give in to them. 

Don’t fall for their nonsense. If something is important to you, it should be important to your partner. They should want to hear you out, not dismiss you as too sensitive or even crazy. 

4) “Look what you made me do!”

One of the biggest tells that you’re dealing with a master manipulator is that nothing is never, ever their fault. Narcs will never accept the blame for any wrongdoing and will always find a way to twist the situation so anyone but them is at fault. 

Manipulators are unable (unwilling?) to own their mistakes, so they try to pass the buck to someone else. If it’s your partner, you are invariably the “someone else.”

Narcissists use various tactics to try to pass themselves off as the innocent party and place the blame on you. It’s hurtful and unfair to be blamed for something that isn’t your fault. 

And even if you get an apology, it will be given grudgingly without an ounce of sincerity.

5) “I said I was sorry let it go!”

Manipulators don’t apologize when they are genuinely sorry and seeking forgiveness. For narcs, apologies are a quick way to escape from a sticky situation and stop you from angrily calling them out on their treachery.

But apologies don’t work that way for non-narcs, especially when serious transgressions are involved. It’s perfectly normal to need some time to deal with what the other person did to you apology or not. 

You can’t just flip the forgiveness switch and get over it right away, but this is exactly what a manipulative person expects. 

They believe that once they’ve apologized the issue should be dropped immediately. After all, they said they were sorry, just get over it already.

And if you’d rather get out than get over it, they will threaten to harm themselves to keep you in line. 

6) “I will hurt myself if you leave me!”

This, right here, is probably the most malevolent form of emotional manipulation. 

Someone who threatens self-harm to stop you from leaving them, or doing anything else they don’t want you to do is pathologically toxic and downright dangerous.

This is no-holds-barred, in-your-face manipulation. They don’t want you to do something, so they tell you in no uncertain terms that you will both suffer immediate, severe consequences if you follow through.

In their minds, they can paint themselves as innocent victims that way and put you in a bad light. Many people, especially empaths, feel immense pressure to stay in abusive relationships thanks to deranged scare tactics like this. 

Don’t give in to it. Stand your ground and assert that you will not be swayed by these threats. Suggest they seek an emergency mental health intervention. 

You can even offer to get them a list of numbers, but your resolve to leave the relationship has not and will not change.  

Being played is exhausting 

Dealing with narcissistic manipulation on the reg is exhausting. It wears on your heart, soul, and sanity. 

Protect yourself from narcissistic abuse by setting ironclad boundaries and sticking to them, no matter what your relationship with the manipulator is. You owe it to yourself.