If you feel disconnected from your partner, say goodbye to these 9 behaviors

Ever felt like you’re in the same room with your partner but still feel miles apart?

Yep, nobody likes that. But don’t rush to point fingers just yet.

Believe it or not, some of our daily habits could be the ones creating this distance without us even realizing it.

Let’s talk about 8 behaviors you might need to wave goodbye to, to bridge this gap.

1. Not Listening

You know when you’re talking about your day and your partner just nods along while scrolling through their phone? Yep, that’s not really listening.

Listening means giving your full attention. It’s not just about hearing the words; it’s about understanding the feelings behind them.

If you find yourself half-listening to your partner while doing something else, it’s time for a change.

Next time they speak, put down whatever you’re doing and really listen.

You’ll be surprised at how much closer this simple act can make you feel.

2. Taking Your Partner for Granted

We all have busy lives, and it’s easy to forget to appreciate the little things.

But remember, those little things are often what love is made of.

Do you remember to say thank you when your partner does something nice for you, or do you just expect it?

When was the last time you complimented them or told them how much they mean to you?

If it’s been a while, then it’s time to break this habit. Make an effort to express your gratitude and appreciation regularly.

This can help both of you feel more valued and loved.

3. Always Being on the Defensive

We all have our guard up sometimes. It’s a natural instinct to protect ourselves.

But in a relationship, this can create walls. Let me share a personal example.

I used to get defensive whenever my partner brought up something they felt I could improve on.

Instead of listening and trying to understand their point of view, I would instantly start explaining myself or even counter-criticizing them.

But then, I realized this was doing more harm than good. It was creating unnecessary conflicts and making my partner feel unheard and unimportant.

So, I made a conscious effort to change this. Now, when they bring up something that’s bothering them, I take a deep breath, calm my initial defensive reaction, and really listen to what they’re saying.

It’s not always easy, but it has definitely brought us closer and made our communication healthier.

4. Spending Too Much Time on Screens

We live in a digital age, and while technology has its advantages, it can also be a relationship killer when not used in moderation.

If you’re spending more time scrolling through social media or watching TV than engaging with your partner, it’s time for a change.

Set aside some technology-free time each day to connect with your partner without distractions.

Remember, the aim is to create more connection, not less. And that wraps up behavior number four to ditch.

5. Ignoring Your Partner’s Needs

In a relationship, it’s crucial to remember that it’s not just about you. Your partner has needs and desires too.

Imagine you’ve had a long, tiring day. You’re feeling down and all you want is a comforting hug and someone who asks how your day was.

But instead, your partner barely looks up from their book or doesn’t acknowledge your presence.

That would sting, wouldn’t it?

This is what it feels like when we ignore our partner’s needs. It can cause them to feel neglected and unloved.

So, make it a habit to regularly check in with your partner about their needs.

Ask them how their day was, what they’re feeling or what they need from you.

A little empathy goes a long way in making your partner feel seen and valued.

6. Avoiding Conflict

This one hits close to home for me. For the longest time, I thought avoiding conflict was the key to a happy relationship.

If there’s no fight, there’s no problem, right? Well, not exactly.

Avoiding conflict doesn’t mean there are no issues; it simply means you’re not addressing them.

And believe me, those issues can pile up and explode at the worst possible time.

I’ve learned that it’s better to have those uncomfortable conversations when problems arise.

Yes, it’s tough and can be emotionally draining, but it also leads to understanding, compromise, and growth in our relationship.

So, don’t shy away from conflicts. Instead, learn how to handle them in a healthy and constructive way.

7. Keeping Score

Relationships are not a game. There are no winners or losers. So why do we keep score?

“You didn’t do the dishes last night, so you have to do them tonight.” “I paid for dinner last time, so it’s your turn.” Sound familiar? Well, it’s a slippery slope, my friends.

Keeping score creates resentment and a tit-for-tat mentality that can seriously harm your relationship. It turns love into a transaction and that’s not what love is about.

Instead of keeping tabs on who did what, focus on teamwork. It’s not you against them; it’s both of you against the problem.

8. Not Spending Quality Time Together

It’s no secret that spending quality time together strengthens a relationship.

Couples who spend more time together in shared activities are more satisfied with their relationships.

So, it’s not just about being in the same room together, but actually doing things together.

But let’s be clear, quality time doesn’t have to mean extravagant dates or expensive vacations.

It can be as simple as cooking a meal together, going for a walk, or even just sitting and talking about your day without distractions.

9. Neglecting Self-Care

I used to think that being in a relationship meant constantly putting my partner’s needs before my own. Until I realized, I was running on empty.

Neglecting self-care doesn’t do any favors for your relationship.

If you’re not taking care of yourself – mentally, physically, and emotionally – it’s hard to give your best to your partner.

So, remember to take time for yourself. Do things that you enjoy and that make you feel good about yourself.

A healthier you can contribute to a healthier relationship.

And there we have it – an extra behavior to say goodbye to for a better connection with your partner.

Remember, change begins with you!