If you notice these 10 behaviors, you’re dealing with a deeply insecure person

Ever been at a party and noticed someone who can’t seem to stay still, constantly seeking reassurances or validation from others?

Chances are, you’ve just encountered a deeply insecure person.

Their actions may seem puzzling or even annoying to those who are more self-assured, but the truth is that these individuals just have their own unique way of dealing with their fears and anxieties.

So, let’s dive into these perplexing behaviors and shed some light on 10 tell-tale signs that you’re dealing with a deeply insecure person.

These are tendencies that may seem strange to some but are in fact quite common among those grappling with self-doubt.

1) Constant need for validation

To some, constantly seeking approval might seem needy or attention-seeking. But for deeply insecure people, it’s often their way of reassuring themselves.

Insecurity thrives on doubt and self-criticism. While confident people gain affirmation from their own accomplishments and self-worth, insecure individuals often look for validation from others.

This doesn’t mean they’re selfish or demanding; they’re just struggling with their own self-image and value.

Whether they’re fishing for compliments, seeking reassurance in their decisions, or constantly comparing themselves to others, insecure people often find solace in external validation.

2) They’re overly defensive

Remember that time when you casually mentioned to your colleague that they might want to double-check their report and they blew up at you?

Yeah, that’s what happened to me with my coworker, Lisa.

I was just trying to help, but Lisa took it as a personal attack. She was immediately on the defensive, raising her voice and accusing me of trying to undermine her.

Overly defensive behavior like this often masks deep insecurities.

They’re so afraid of making a mistake or appearing less than perfect that any hint of criticism feels like an attack.

3) Frequent self-deprecation

While it’s common for everyone to engage in a bit of self-deprecating humor now and then, a deeply insecure person often takes this to another level.

They seem to constantly put themselves down or make jokes at their own expense.

By doing this, they are trying to beat others to the punch, as it were. It’s a defense mechanism – if they criticize themselves first, it might lessen the sting of criticism from others.

They believe that by signalling their own flaws, they are protecting themselves from external judgment or rejection.

However, this behavior often has the opposite effect, eroding their self-esteem even further.

If someone consistently makes a habit of self-deprecation, they might be wrestling with significant insecurities.

4) Overcompensation in their achievements

Did you know that many high-performing individuals, including celebrities and successful entrepreneurs, have admitted to feeling like impostors in their own lives? This is known as the Impostor Syndrome.

Deeply insecure people often feel the need to overcompensate for their perceived shortcomings by excelling in other areas. They push themselves to achieve more, believing that success will silence their internal critic.

This doesn’t mean they’re over-ambitious or ungrateful for their achievements; they’re just trying to drown out their insecurities with accomplishments.

5) Excessive copying of others

Did you know that humans are inherently social creatures, and it’s quite common for us to mimic or adopt behaviors, styles, or tastes from people we admire or respect?

However, a deeply insecure person often takes this natural tendency to an extreme.

They may constantly change their fashion style to match the latest trends or the preferences of those around them.

They may adopt others’ opinions or hobbies, even if they don’t genuinely enjoy them.

Their identity seems to be a patchwork of others’, rather than a unique reflection of their own personality.

This copying behavior stems from their fear of rejection and their belief that they are not ‘good enough’ as they are.

If you notice someone excessively mimicking others, they may be dealing with deep-rooted insecurities.

6) Obsession with perfection

While striving for excellence is a commendable trait, obsessing over perfection is another common sign of deep-seated insecurity.

This may manifest as an unyielding attention to detail, an inability to delegate tasks, or an extreme fear of making mistakes.

They set impossibly high standards for themselves, believing that anything less than perfect is a failure.

This mindset isn’t about achieving greatness but rather a desperate attempt to avoid criticism or rejection.

However, this obsession often leads to unnecessary stress and can hamper their overall productivity.

7) Difficulty accepting compliments

Have you ever given a compliment to someone, only to see them brush it off or downplay it? This might be a sign of deep-seated insecurity.

Insecure individuals often struggle to accept compliments. They might not believe they’re deserving of praise or may fear that accepting it will expose them to higher expectations and potential criticism.

This action might make them seem like they’re ungrateful or dismissive; but the truth is they’re just dealing with their own self-doubt.

They might be grappling with their insecurities, finding it hard to believe in their own worth and achievements.

8) They’re constantly comparing themselves to others

It’s heartbreaking to see someone you care about always measuring their worth against others.

That’s what my younger brother does.

He’s incredibly talented, but he doesn’t see it because he’s too busy looking at what others have achieved.

He doesn’t realize that his journey is unique, and he doesn’t need to match anyone else’s pace or path.

This constant comparison is a symptom of his deep-seated insecurities, and it keeps him from recognizing and celebrating his own accomplishments.

9) Fear of confrontation

I used to have a roommate who would go to great lengths to avoid any form of confrontation. She would agree to things she didn’t want, just to avoid a potentially uncomfortable conversation.

Insecure individuals often fear confrontation. The thought of conflict or disagreement can be overwhelming, leading them to suppress their own needs and feelings.

For example, they might agree with opinions they don’t share or refrain from expressing their own desires, just to keep the peace.

So, if you notice someone avoiding confrontation at all costs, they’re likely dealing with insecurities and fear of disapproval or conflict.

10) Unusually quiet in group settings

While it’s easy to assume that the loudest person in the room is the most self-assured, sometimes it’s the quietest person who’s hiding the deepest insecurities.

In group settings, they may retreat into the background, contributing little to the conversation.

This isn’t because they don’t have anything to say.

Rather, they’re often overly concerned about saying the wrong thing or being judged by others. This is mainly because their silence is a protective wall, a way to avoid catching negative attention or criticism.

Understanding the roots of insecurity

Insecurity is a complex emotion, often rooted in past experiences. It’s not something that springs up overnight, but a gradual build-up of negative emotions and beliefs about oneself.

Understanding the underlying causes of insecurity can help us empathize with insecure individuals and, if we recognize these signs in ourselves, it can guide us towards self-improvement.

Childhood experiences play a crucial role in shaping our self-perception.

If a child grows up in an environment where they are constantly criticized, neglected, or made to feel inferior, these experiences can plant the seeds of insecurity that bear fruit in adulthood.

However, it’s not just early life experiences that contribute to this emotional state.

Insecurity can also stem from traumatic events later in life such as job loss, a failed relationship, or other significant life changes. These events can shake our self-confidence and trigger feelings of insecurity.

It’s important to remember that everyone has insecurities. It’s a part of being human. However, when these feelings start to interfere with our daily lives and happiness, it’s time to address them.

Addressing deep-seated insecurities isn’t easy and often requires professional help such as therapy or counselling.

However, recognizing the signs is the first step towards understanding and helping someone dealing with intense insecurities – be it a loved one or ourselves.

Insecurity is not a life sentence. With patience, empathy, and the right support, anyone can overcome their insecurities and live a more confident and fulfilling life.