If you possess these 12 qualities, you’re a joy to be around

by Brendan Brown | April 12, 2024, 9:47 pm

Have you ever met someone who is just an absolute joy to be around?

They exist.

There are people in this world who can always make you feel better just by being there.

These are the people who are full of jokes, good humor, fun, and great advice. They also tend to be positive people who look for the best in any situation and don’t dwell in negativity.

Plus, science suggests that being a positive person who is a joy to be around can also lead to greater success in life, too.

What is it that makes these people so magnetic? In this article, we’re going to take a look at the qualities that make someone a pleasure to be around.

Maybe you already have some of these qualities yourself. Or maybe you want to develop them. After all, everybody loves a joyful and positive person.

1) You stay positive

Look, we all get down sometimes. From my own experience, I know that life has a way of grinding you down sometimes.

After all, loss is inevitable. And when that happens, it’s okay to feel sad.

On the other hand, positivity means looking for the good even in bad times. And in good times, it means appreciating everything you have.

Positivity can be a valuable asset in the workplace, often leading to high performance since you don’t allow setbacks to drag you down.

But being a positive person has even more powerful effects in your personal life.

People want to be around positive people. A positive person can lift the mood of everybody around them, making them a joy to be around.

If you generally stay positive and focus on the good things in life, chances are you’re a real pleasure to hang out with.

2) You listen when others speak

We all want to be listened to.

When you tell something to somebody, especially something personally important, you want to know that they have heard and understand what you have said.

That means people that truly listen to others are often a real joy to be around.

A 2000 study found that people respond positively to those who listen empathetically.

Empathetic listening means:

  • listening without judgment
  • engaging with what you’re being told
  • paraphrasing what the person is saying to show you understand
  • asking clarifying questions
  • remembering details

Actively listening to others when they speak makes you a really pleasant person to talk to.

Of course, empathetic listening is easier when…

3) You take a genuine interest in people

Listening when others speak is only part of taking an interest in them. It’s also important to show interest in them and their lives over the longer term.

That can mean remembering something they told you and asking them about it later. Did you get that promotion at work you wanted? Did you manage to book that holiday for you and the kids?

Conversations like this show other people that you are interested in their lives and that they are important to you.

That kind of interest in people can easily make you a joy to be around.

4) You encourage others

Everyone like someone who takes an interest in them.

You can take that interest to the next level by actively encouraging other people.

Be a cheerleader for your friends, family, and everyone around you.

Not only does it show that you have listened to them and taken an interest in their lives, but it also makes them feel good to know that their struggles and hardships have been recognized.

If you often find yourself being the person your friends turn to for encouragement when they are feeling down, there’s a good sign that you are already fulfilling this role in their lives.

And that, in turn, is a good sign that you are a joy to be around.

Especially when…

5) You celebrate the achievements of others

Supporting people when they try something is a huge part of being pleasant to spend time with.

And that feeds directly into celebrating their achievements.

It’s easy to celebrate our own achievements, but it takes a truly positive and joyful person to take personal pleasure in the achievements of others.

That’s exactly the kind of person people want to be around.

If you celebrate the achievements of friends and family as if they were your own, you are almost certainly a great person to be around.

And if you don’t? Well, now would be a great time to start.

6) You have empathy

We’ve already talked about empathetic listening. But there’s more to being an empathetic person than just listening to others.

And the good news? Being an empathetic person makes you a real pleasure to be around.

Being empathetic means understanding the viewpoints and emotions of others. You can show empathy by:

  • Listening (like we talked about earlier)
  • Being nonjudgmental
  • Sharing your own experiences if they relate to the issues another person is facing
  • Offering physical comfort like a hug
  • Offering help if you are able to

Empathy is a powerful quality that makes you a truly magnetic person. The more you can relate to others, the more they will want to be around you.

7) You are reliable

Are you always there for your friends and loved ones? If so, you’re probably a person that people love to be around.

Being reliable is a key component in making people enjoy your company.

Sticking to your promises shows others that you stand by your word and mean what you say.

These are valuable qualities to show people the strength of your character.

If you are the person everyone around you can rely on, it’s a great sign that they love spending time with you.

8) You are grateful

Look, I get it. Life can get all of us down sometimes.

On the other hand, nobody likes a complainer.

One of the best ways to maintain a positive outlook is to focus on gratitude. No matter what is going on in our lives at any given moment, we all have reasons to be grateful, even if only for small things.

Being grateful for what you have helps to maintain a positive personality and makes you more attractive to those around you. Focusing on the things in life you are grateful for can make you much more pleasant to spend time with.

9) You respect yourself

Being a pleasant person to spend time with means being considerate and empathetic toward others.

On the other hand, it doesn’t mean being a doormat.

People who respect themselves are a pleasure to be around. And part of having self-respect is setting reasonable boundaries.

Boundaries are behaviors that you expect from others, and sticking to your boundaries makes you someone that other people will respect.

It’s nice to be a fun person who people want to be around. But it’s also important to respect yourself and your boundaries.

And that means…

10) You accept both yourself and others

If you have a healthy level of self-respect, it’s much easier to respect others too. And when people feel respected by someone, they will automatically enjoy spending time around that person.

Accepting yourself means acknowledging your flaws and failings without getting hung up on them. And when you have a realistic idea of your own flaws, it’s much easier to accept the flaws of other people.

None of us are perfect. When you appreciate that and take people as they are, flaws and all, you become a much more pleasant person to be around.

11) You find joy in small things

Promotions. Marriages. Kids. 

A life well lived contains some big events that change the path we’re on. 

And people who are a joy to be around celebrate those big events when they happen to others just as enthusiastically as they do for themselves.

But life isn’t made of big events. Instead, it’s 10,000 small things, one after another.

If you want to be a person who sparks joy in others, focus on finding joy in small things.

Let me give you an example.

Me and my wife have been renovating our house for the past year or so, ever since we bought it. The house has been a construction site the whole time we’ve owned it, full of plaster dust, bags of concrete, boxes of tiles, scattered tools, and other messy items.

Recently, we decided to take a break from the renovation. We cleared everything up, and I built a planter box in our backyard.

Together, we went to the weekly market and picked out some flowers, then planted them in our planter. Now, every time I walk by those flowers, it makes me feel a little bit happier.

Finding pleasure in the small things will not only make you happier. It will also make you a more joyful and inspiring person to be around.

12) You have a sense of humor

Everyone likes to laugh. And being funny is a sure way to get people to enjoy spending time with you.

Having a good sense of humor means you bring joy to other people’s lives. That includes being able to laugh at yourself.

In fact, a study found that even robots are more likable when they display a sense of humor.

If you are always able to see the funny side of things, you’re almost certainly fun to be with.

Being a pleasant person to be around

 We all want to be liked.

And these positive traits can make you much more likable.

Perhaps you have them already. Perhaps there are some you could work on. Either way, developing these traits will make you an absolute joy to spend time with.

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