If you say goodbye to these 11 habits, you’ll be happier in no time  

We all want to be happier. But often, the secret to happiness is in what you do.

One of the trickiest things about happiness is that when you chase it directly, you never seem to achieve it. But when you focus on other things, such as pursuing your goals or forming strong relationships, you become happy almost by accident.

Simply put, happiness is as much a matter of what you do as how you feel.

But it’s also a question of what you don’t do.

We all have our own bad habits. But some of your habits may be preventing you from becoming truly happy.

Here are some bad habits to ditch if you want to be truly happy.

1) Putting others first

This is a tricky one. We’re all taught from an early age that putting other people first is a good thing to do. And it is.

As if that’s not enough, it’s also true that being good to other people can make us happier.

But here’s the thing: there’s a difference between being altruistic and prioritizing everybody else’s needs ahead of your own.

We all need different things to be happy, whether it’s an artistic passion, attainment in our career, or the love of people around us.

Seeking the things you know will make you happy is not selfish. And putting yourself last is a habit you’ll need to lose if you want to be happy.

2) Working too hard

There’s nothing wrong with hard work. At its best, work can give us a real sense of fulfillment and achievement. Not to mention the material rewards that come along with it.

Plus, studies have shown that having more money can make you happier – seems obvious, doesn’t it?

Except that only applies up to about $100,000 a year. After that, adding more money and more career attainment doesn’t contribute to your baseline level of happiness.

We all need money to live, and if your career gives you a sense of fulfillment, then working hard can be a great thing. 

But believing that happiness lies after the next promotion, the next project, or the next change of job can be a trap.

None of us are machines, and we all need down time to relax and interests outside of our jobs.

So if you want to be happy, you may need to spend a little less time at the office.

3) Comparing yourself with others

This is a big one.

Comparison is often called the thief of joy. And there’s good scientific research to back that up. This 2016 study found that people who compare their income to others are less happy than those who don’t. 

And a 2018 study found that comparison with others on social media negatively affected the relative happiness of participants.

Here’s the thing: there’ll always be someone with more money, a nicer car, a more exotic holiday, or a better body than you. If you’re constantly comparing yourself to others, you’re not appreciating what you have and being grateful.

The ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus said, “Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”  And Oprah Winfrey echoed him when she said, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”

Stop comparing yourself with others if you want to be happy.

4) Letting others bring you down

Negative people can be a major obstacle to finding your own happiness.

Look, lots of people have reasons to be negative. And they can’t always help the way that they feel and act. 

That doesn’t mean you need to be around them.

We all take our emotional cues from others to one extent or another. Negative people have a way of drawing you into their negativity, even if they don’t mean to.

So if you want to be happy, you’ll have to find a way of either not soaking up the negativity of others or cutting them out of your life completely.

5) Responding to notifications right away

We all do it. Our smartphones have programmed us to respond immediately to every comment, like, email, or text message.

However, responding to cellphone notifications can mimic symptoms of ADHD, even in people who don’t have it.

And this 2019 study found that by batching cell phone notifications and responding to them at set times during the day instead of being constantly interrupted by them resulted in participants being happier.

We weren’t made to be constantly on call for anybody who might decide they want to reach us. So use your phone settings wisely to limit the daily interruptions you get from your phone.

You’ll be happier for it.

6) Judging yourself by your accomplishments

Doing something you set out to do can give your self-esteem a huge boost. And in turn, having higher self-esteem can help you to accomplish more.

But it’s also important to remember that you are more than just the things you do.

Often, even people who have achieved very highly, such as multiple Oscar-winning actor Meryl Streep, are plagued by insecurity and self-doubt.

You see, people who are gifted often learn to get all of their self-worth from accomplishment. And when they fail, it can make them feel worthless.

It’s good to achieve your goals, but don’t hang your happiness on them completely. There’s more to life than just accomplishing things.

7) Being unhealthy

 Yeah, I know. You’ve heard this one before.

We all know we should exercise and eat better food. But it can be startling how much of an effect it has on our happiness.

Dozens of peer-reviewed studies have demonstrated that people who engage in physical activity are happier than those who don’t.

Even as little as one day of exercise per week can have a big effect on your mood.

8) Striving for perfection

Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world. And trying to be perfect is a guaranteed way to make yourself unhappy.

It’s important to try your best at anything that matters to you. But it’s just as important to accept that perfection is almost never attainable.

When you know you’ve made your best efforts, be content with that. Because being a perfectionist is a good way to make sure you never take joy in what you have achieved.

9) Trying to control the future

None of us can see the future. And we certainly can’t control it.

While it’s natural to think about the future, it’s unhelpful to worry about it.

As Sophocles said, “future cares have future cures, and we must mind today.”

In other words, worrying about the future can rob the present of its joy.

By all means, make plans and do your best to build the life you want. But don’t get caught up worrying about a future that may never come.

10) Ignoring your feelings

Being in touch with your feelings is one of the best ways to achieve happiness.

Reflecting on yourself from time to time can do a lot to improve your mood and help you understand why you feel the things you do.

At the same time, dwelling on your feelings, especially negative ones, can also bring you down.

Still, it’s important not to ignore your feelings if you want to be happy. As famous psychiatrist Carl Jung used to say, what we resist not only persists, but will grow in size.

Pushing aside your negative feelings can make them more powerful and torpedo your future happiness.

11) Not accepting responsibility

Taking responsibility for our actions isn’t always easy. But it is key to being a mature and functional adult. Not to mention a happy one.

Here’s the thing: avoiding responsibility can sometimes seem like it will make a situation easier for you in the short term.

But in the long run, consistently avoiding responsibility for the life you have will make you far less happy and less able to change it.

People with a deeper sense of responsibility tend to be happier. And taking responsibility for your own actions allows you to learn the lessons life has to teach you and pursue happiness with a greater chance of success.

Your habits can make you happy

But only if you practice the right ones.

After all, it’s our habits that make us who we are. 

Abandon these unproductive habits, and you’ll find yourself traveling much further on the road to happiness.