If you want to attract a high-quality partner, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

Are you tired of attracting the wrong partners—those who drain your energy, create chaos, or simply don’t measure up to what you truly deserve?

It can be incredibly frustrating to find yourself in the same unhealthy patterns, time and again.

The good news is, you have the power to change this narrative.

By identifying and eliminating certain self-sabotaging behaviors, you can start attracting the high-quality partner you’ve been yearning for.

In this article, we’ll delve into the seven behaviors you need to leave behind to pave the way for a more fulfilling and rewarding love life.

So get ready to say goodbye to the wrong matches and hello to someone who truly uplifts you!

1) Being overly self-centered

It’s natural to want to present your best self when searching for a high-quality partner. But there’s a thin line between confidence and self-absorption.

A common stumbling block I’ve seen in many of my clients is the tendency to focus too much on themselves.

They talk about their achievements, their goals, their interests, without leaving much room for the other person.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s important to share about yourself. But it’s equally crucial to show genuine interest in your prospective partner.

A good relationship involves a balanced exchange. It’s not just about you; it’s about the other person, too. If you’re constantly dominating the conversation, it can be off-putting.

Psychology shows that self-centered people are less likely to address their partner’s needs and offer support, which is a crucial aspect of a healthy relationship.

So, learn to listen more than you speak and show genuine interest in what your partner has to say.

2) Trying too hard to impress

It seems counterintuitive, right? Shouldn’t you put your best foot forward to attract a high-quality partner?

Absolutely! But there’s a difference between being your best self and trying too hard to impress.

The latter often comes off as inauthentic and can actually repel the very people you’re trying to attract.

Someone of high quality appreciates authenticity above all else. They want to see the real you, not a polished, rehearsed version.

So, be confident in who you are. Let your true personality shine through. Yes, by all means, be on your best behavior, but don’t put on a show.

After all, if you’re not being genuine from the start, it’s only a matter of time before the real you comes out.

And trust me, it’s better for your potential partner to fall for who you really are than for someone you’re pretending to be.

3) Clinging too tight

One behavior that can unintentionally drive a high-quality partner away is being overly dependent or clingy.

Believe me, I’ve seen it happen countless times. A person finds someone they’re really into and then they hold on too tight, fearing to lose them.

This can often push the other person away.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into this behavior more deeply. It’s important to understand that everyone needs their space, even in a committed relationship.

So, if you find yourself constantly texting, calling, or just needing to be around your partner all the time, it might be time to reassess.

• Develop your own interests
• Spend time with friends
• Learn to enjoy your own company

4) Neglecting your own needs

The journey to finding a high-quality partner isn’t just about them – it’s about you too.

We often get so wrapped up in what we think our partner wants or needs that we end up sidelining our own needs.

But remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

I learned this the hard way early in my career when I prioritized others’ needs over my own. It’s not sustainable and it’s not healthy.

As the famous philosopher, Socrates once said, “To find yourself, think for yourself”. It means:

• Knowing your own worth
• Setting boundaries
• Taking care of your own needs

Don’t lose sight of what you need from a relationship while trying to be everything to your partner. A high-quality partner will respect your needs and boundaries just as much as you respect theirs.

5) Overlooking red flags

When you’re smitten with someone, it’s easy to turn a blind eye to the red flags.

But from personal experience, I can tell you, these warning signs are there for a reason.

I’ve been there, charmed by someone’s charisma and overlooking the small inconsistencies in their behavior.

But over time, these small issues can evolve into larger problems.

Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.

A high-quality partner doesn’t leave you guessing or uneasy. They’re transparent and consistent in their actions.

6) Rushing into commitment

We’ve all heard the saying, “Love is not a sprint; It’s a marathon.” This holds particularly true when you’re looking for a high-quality partner.

In my own journey, I’ve learned that rushing into commitment can often lead to missed opportunities for growth.

Psychologists also point out that rushing into a relationship can cause lack of trust, communication, and emotional intimacy, which can all lead to the breakdown of the relationship.

It’s important to take your time, get to know each other, and ensure that you’re truly compatible.

Take your time to fully understand each other’s values, beliefs, and life goals. This will ultimately create a stronger and more fulfilling bond in the long run.

7) Pretending to be someone you’re not

Let’s get real here. If you’re pretending to be someone you’re not, you’re setting up your relationship for failure.

I’ve seen it happen. People putting on a facade, trying to fit into a mold they think their partner wants.

But the truth is, you can’t keep up the charade forever. And when the real you inevitably comes out, it can lead to disappointment and resentment.

A high-quality partner wants you for who you are, not who you’re pretending to be. They value authenticity and honesty.

So be open, be genuine, be yourself. It might feel vulnerable, but it’s the only way to attract a partner who loves and appreciates the real you.

Final thoughts

Saying goodbye to these seven behaviors is the first step towards breaking free from the cycle of attracting the wrong partners.

By making these positive changes, you open yourself up to the possibility of finding a high-quality partner who truly complements and supports you.

The key to attracting the right person starts with becoming the best version of yourself. 

In my experience, and the experiences of those I’ve had the privilege to guide, it’s often when we’re willing to change, evolve, and become better versions of ourselves that we attract partners who mirror these same qualities.

And for a deeper dive into this topic, I recommend watching this insightful video by Justin Brown. It beautifully encapsulates many of the points we’ve discussed in our article: