If you want to be genuinely happy, say goodbye to these 12 habits

by Isabel Cabrera | August 14, 2024, 9:57 pm

Happiness, that elusive state of mind we all crave, often feels just out of reach. Why? 

Because our habits, those automatic things we do without even realizing, can either pull us toward joy or push us away from it. 

The key to true happiness lies in recognizing and unlearning the habits that don’t serve us. 

And guess what? It’s something you can start doing right now! So start watching out for these 12 habits you should remove from your system:

1) Constant complaining

We all have those days when nothing seems to go right, and it’s easy to fall into the complaining trap. I’ve been there, trust me! 

But what I’ve learned is that chronic complaining doesn’t fix anything. It only makes you feel more miserable. 

Start recognizing when you’re doing it and consciously choose to find something positive. 

It might feel odd at first, but with time, it becomes a delightful habit that boosts your happiness.

2) Saying “yes” to everything

You know that friend who always agrees to everything? That was me—and probably you, too, at some point! (We’ve all been there; there’s no shame in it!) 

Saying “yes” to all requests, all invitations, all commitments. The result? A burnt-out, unhappy version of myself. 

Learning to say “no” is not a rejection of others but an acceptance of yourself. 

It means you understand your limits, your desires, and you’re choosing happiness. It’s an empowering habit to cultivate, and it leads to a more balanced and joyful life.

3) Obsessing over the past and fearing the future

It’s easy to get caught up in the “what ifs” and “if onlys” of life. I’ve spent countless nights agonizing over past mistakes or worrying about what the future holds

But here’s the thing: neither dwelling in the past nor fearing the future brings happiness. Living in the present moment, however, does. 

It’s a habit that requires practice, but once you start to master it, you’ll find a richness in life that you never knew was there.

4) Getting caught in the comparison trap

Let’s face it, comparing ourselves to others is something we all do. 

I used to look at people around me and wonder why I wasn’t as successful, as good-looking, or as happy as they were. But those comparisons were stealing my joy. 

What’s truly important is embracing your uniqueness and celebrating who YOU are. 

When you do that, you’ll realize that there’s no one else quite like you, and that’s something beautiful to be happy about.

5) Being addicted to your phone

I remember a time when I couldn’t even have dinner with my family without checking my phone every few minutes. It was an addiction, and it was costing me real connections and happiness. 

By consciously setting aside screen time and engaging more with the people around me, I rediscovered the joy in human connection. 

It’s something that no app or social media can replicate. Disconnecting might feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s a habit that brings genuine fulfillment.

6) Always waiting for the perfect moment

There’s a saying I love: “Done is better than perfect.” 

I used to wait for the perfect moment to do things, whether it was starting a new project, going on a trip, or even telling someone how I felt. 

I would wait and wait, and often, that perfect moment never came. 

What I’ve learned is that life is beautifully imperfect, and sometimes, the most amazing things happen when we act, not when we wait. 

Embracing imperfection has become a liberating habit that’s brought more spontaneity, excitement, and yes, happiness into my life.

7) Negative thinking

Negativity can be a hard habit to break, especially if you’re surrounded by it. But I’ve found a solution that’s not only simple but incredibly powerful: gratitude. 

Taking a moment each day to acknowledge what I’m grateful for has shifted my focus from what’s wrong to what’s right. 

It’s transformed my perspective and brought a wave of happiness into my life. Try it! It might just become your favorite new habit.

8) Overthinking

Sometimes, our minds can be our worst enemies. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve overanalyzed a situation, going back and forth without end. 

It was exhausting and certainly not conducive to happiness. Learning to trust my instincts and make decisions without overthinking them has been liberating. 

It’s allowed me to move forward with confidence, knowing that I’m capable of making wise choices. 

It’s not always easy, but it’s a habit worth cultivating for a more relaxed and contented life.

9) Feeling like a victim

I’ll be honest with you: there was a time when I felt like everything was against me, and I was stuck in a victim mentality. It was as if life was happening to me, not for me. 

But one day, I decided to take control and become the hero of my story. It changed everything. 

No longer was I passively waiting for things to improve; I was actively making choices that brought me joy. 

It’s empowering to realize that we are the authors of our own lives, and we can write a story that’s filled with happiness.

10) Seeking external validation

So many times, we look for approval, love, and validation from those around us. I used to be guilty of this, too, always seeking a thumbs-up from friends or family for every decision I made. 

But true happiness doesn’t come from external sources; it comes from within. 

Learning to validate myself, to love and approve of my own actions and choices, has been a transformative experience. 

It’s a habit that reinforces self-worth and brings a deep sense of contentment.

11) Fear of failure

I’ll never forget the time I took a risk on a business idea and it completely flopped. It was humiliating and disheartening, but it also became one of my most valuable lessons. 

Instead of seeing failure as an end, I began to see it as a stepping stone. Each failure was a lesson, guiding me toward success. 

Embracing failure as a part of the growth process not only takes the sting out of it but also fuels happiness by turning obstacles into opportunities.

12) Ignoring your health

Your body is your temple, and it’s amazing how much our physical health influences our mental state. 

When I started paying attention to what I was eating, how much I was exercising, and how I was taking care of myself, I noticed a significant boost in my overall happiness. 

Treating your body with care and respect is not just about looking good; it’s about feeling good from the inside out. It’s a habit that enhances every aspect of your life.

How to unlearn bad habits effectively

Unlearning bad habits is like tending a garden. You have to uproot the weeds and plant new seeds. It requires patience, care, and daily attention. 

But the blooming results are absolutely worth it. Here’s how you can embark on this rewarding journey:

Identify the habit you want to change

Start by pinpointing the specific habit that’s holding you back. Recognize it, understand why it doesn’t serve you, and commit to changing it.

Replace it with a positive one

Don’t just quit a bad habit; replace it with a positive one. Want to stop complaining? Focus on gratitude. It’s about redirecting energy in a way that serves you.

Take small, consistent steps

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and habits aren’t changed overnight. Break the process down into manageable steps, and celebrate your progress along the way.

Use reminders and visual cues

Sometimes, we need little nudges to keep us on track. Whether it’s a sticky note on your mirror or a daily reminder on your phone, find what works for you.

Seek support when needed

You don’t have to do it alone. Friends, family, or even professional help can provide encouragement and guidance. Lean on them when you need to.

Be patient with yourself

Changing a habit is a process, not an event. There will be setbacks, and that’s okay. Show yourself compassion and keep moving forward.

Reflect and adjust

Regularly evaluate your progress.

What’s working? What’s not? Adjust your approach as needed. It’s your journey, and it’s okay to make course corrections.

Believe in yourself

This might be the most crucial step of all. Believe that you can do it, that you’re worth the effort, and that you have the power to create a happier life

That belief is the fuel that will drive you forward.

Celebrate your successes

Even the small victories are worth celebrating. They build momentum and reinforce your commitment to change. Treat yourself kindly and revel in your progress.

Make it a lifestyle, not a task

Ultimately, unlearning a bad habit isn’t about ticking a box. It’s about creating a lifestyle that reflects who you want to be.

Embrace the journey, not just the destination.

Unlearning is necessary for habit-forming

Letting go can be a profound and transformative experience. 

Unlearning old, unhealthy habits wasn’t just about erasing parts of myself; it was about making room for growth, for new practices that aligned with who I wanted to be.

Think of it like cleaning out a cluttered closet. You have to part with the things that no longer fit or serve you to make space for what truly brings you joy and comfort. 

In my own journey, saying goodbye to certain habits felt like shedding a heavy coat I’d been wearing for far too long. 

It allowed me to breathe, to move with greater ease, and to embrace habits that nourished my soul.

Unlearning is an essential step in habit-forming, a beautiful act of self-love and empowerment. 

It’s an invitation to create a life filled with purpose, joy, and genuine happiness. Trust me; the journey is worth it. 

Here’s to you and the amazing path you’re walking!

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