If you want to be truly confident in life, say goodbye to these 10 habits

by Jeanette Brown | January 31, 2024, 12:23 am

Confidence. It’s that elusive quality we all crave. It’s the feeling of standing tall, owning our space, and speaking our truth. But let’s be honest, most of us grapple with insecurities and negative habits that trip us up.

Before we dive into these notorious confidence-killers, let me share a personal story with you.

I used to be terrified of public speaking and the thought of it would send my heart racing. Every time an opportunity presented itself, I’d conjure up a million reasons to avoid it. “What if I forget my words?”, “What will people think?”, or the classic, “Do I even have anything valuable to say?”

However, I had to get over this fear pretty quickly, as my job depended on me doing public speaking regularly. I was stepping outside of my comfort zone when I accepted the role and I knew it was going to be a challenge!

One day, a good friend noticed my apprehension and gave me a piece of advice that changed everything. She said, “You know, it’s not really the audience or the speech that’s holding you back.  You know your stuff and you’re keen to get your message across. It’s your habit of overthinking and that inner critic who never seems to give you a break, that’s making you like this.”

She was spot on. I decided to tackle this head-on, turning that relentless inner critic into my own personal coach, cheering me on instead of tearing me down. With time, practice, and this shift in mindset, I stood on a stage, faced the crowd, and spoke without hesitation and the more I did it, the more confident I became.

So, if you’re ready to shed the weight of habits that deplete your confidence, here is the list.

You will be amazed how quickly you gain confidence when you let these habits go!

1. Overthinking everything

Confidence isn’t about always being right, but about being okay even if you’re wrong. Over-analyzing every word and action can be paralyzing. Plus, overthinking often steals the joy of the present moment, making you more anxious than you need to be.

 

2. Seeking validation

While it’s great to get feedback, constantly seeking approval hampers your self-worth. Believe in your decisions and values. And remember, you can’t control others’ perceptions, but you can control your reaction to them.

3. Negative self-talk

The voice inside your head is powerful. Instead of being your worst critic, become your most enthusiastic and supportive friend. Changing the inner narrative from criticism to encouragement can truly transform your mindset.

 

4. Comparing yourself to others

Everyone is on their unique journey. Embrace yours, with its highs and lows, without measuring it against someone else’s. Each individual’s path is filled with unique experiences and lessons; cherish yours.

 

5. Avoiding challenges

Facing challenges head-on helps you grow. If you always stay in your comfort zone, you deny yourself opportunities to build confidence. Challenges, though intimidating, often lead to the most significant growth.

 

6. Procrastination

Putting things off can stem from a fear of failure. But remember, every step, even a misstep, is progress. Overcoming the urge to delay tasks can provide a confidence boost in your abilities and work ethic.

 

7. Fear of rejection

Not everyone will agree with or like you, and that’s okay. Value yourself regardless of external opinions. Embrace rejection as an opportunity to refine, adapt, and grow stronger.

 

8. Dwelling on past mistakes

Living in the past is a confidence-drainer. Accept your mistakes, learn from them, and move on. Remember, your past doesn’t define you; it’s a stepping stone to your future. As they say, failure is the best teacher.

 

9. Fearing judgement

People will always have opinions. But their thoughts about you shouldn’t dictate how you feel about yourself. Your worth isn’t determined by external opinions, but by how you view and treat yourself.

 

10. Setting unrealistic expectations

Aiming high is great, but setting yourself up for constant disappointment undermines confidence. Celebrate small victories along the way. Realistic goals combined with determination set the foundation for sustainable confidence.

Final words

As you journey towards a more confident self, remember that transformation often stems from small, consistent changes rather than drastic leaps.

Each step you take, each habit you confront and relinquish, brings you closer to the person you aspire to be.

To recap, here are the 10 confidence-draining habits we’ve discussed:

Overthinking everything: Avoid paralysis by analysis.

Seeking validation: Trust in your own worth and decisions.

Negative self-talk: Flip the script and become your biggest fan.

Comparing yourself to others: Celebrate your unique journey.

Avoiding challenges: Step out of your comfort zone to grow.

Procrastination: Action trumps perfection.

Fear of rejection: Embrace yourself, irrespective of external opinions.

Dwelling on past mistakes: Look forward, leaving regrets behind.

Fearing judgement: Don’t let external perceptions shape your self-worth.

Setting unrealistic expectations: Aim high, but also rejoice in small milestones.

With these in mind, remember that letting go of these habits is just the beginning. Remember that small, consistent changes have a profound impact.

By actively working on them, not only will you shed weights that have been holding you back, but you’ll also build positive habits that propel you forward.

Embrace the growth, learn from every experience, and become the confident, self-assured  person you are meant to be.

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