If you want to live more authentically, say goodbye to these 9 behaviors

Living an authentic life is all about being true to yourself.

When you’re not true to yourself, you’re disregarding your own needs, wants, feelings, and desires.

Which doesn’t just hurt you, it hurts everyone around you, too.

But, most importantly, it hurts you.

If you want to live more authentically, there are some behaviors you’ve just got to quit – and the sooner you do, the better!

Starting with these 9…

Up first:

1) Living for the gram

I went on a social media hiatus once. I stopped using it for years because I felt like it was attention-seeking.

Then I started using it again and realized that if you use it right, it’s a beautiful way to strike up authentic conversations with people you know.

Because there’s a difference between using your socials to be social and using them to make your life look better than it is.

The first is a genuine way to connect with the people in your life. The latter is (or at least, it can be) a little damaging to your self-esteem.

If you want to live more authentically, start with what you post online. Unfollow toxic accounts, post things you want to post, comment when you want to comment, forget about the number of likes, and have fun with it all!

2) Doing things you don’t want to do

Within reason, you need to stop doing things you don’t want to do if you want to live more authentically.

Sure, you still have to go to work, college, school, or do anything else we all have to do as humans. But you don’t have to do everything else that comes your way.

If you don’t like going to the club with your friends, don’t go. If you don’t want to wear a fancy dress to the party, don’t wear one. It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing or what they’re wearing!

Years into the future, you’ll be grateful for the time you spent doing (and wearing!) the things you wanted rather than the things you didn’t.

3) Neglecting your true hobbies

When I was younger, I used to be ashamed of my hobbies. I didn’t tell my friends that I loved running. Or that I liked reading Sylvia Plath’s poetry. I thought they’d laugh at me.

Even in my twenties, I’d sometimes hold back on sharing my true hobbies with people I dated for fear of their judgment. Needless to say, this wasn’t an authentic way to live my life.

I missed out on so many experiences, good conversations, and actual enjoyment in life from neglecting the things I truly loved.

If you do something similar, this isn’t going to bring you much joy. As hard as it is to let go of other people’s judgments and do what you want, it’ll be so worth it when you do.

4) Criticizing others behind their backs

I’m not saying you should confront every person who bothers you rather than talk it through with a friend (i.e., behind the person’s back).

But sometimes it’s better to confront the issue head-on with the person directly – or just not say anything at all.

Because once you stop slating your boyfriend’s mum or your classmate to everyone except them, you enter a different sort of peace in your life.

Plus, criticizing people is just unkind. It’s usually something we do when we’re hurt, angry, or feeling jealous. It doesn’t actually make us feel any better about ourselves.

So the next time you’re about to say something bad or unkind about someone behind their back, stop yourself. Consider whether it really needs to be said or if it’s best talked about with your journal (or cat?) later that night instead.

5) Hanging out with toxic people

This is a hard one, I know. I’ve cut off many friends over the years because our paths just don’t align anymore. But it was never easy.

I kept going back to them out of comfort and familiarity; answering their texts and agreeing to more plans. But all I was doing by accepting them back was disturbing my own peace.

Things they said and how they made me feel would play on my mind for weeks after. And I’d lie awake at night wishing I had the strength to be true to myself and cut them out. Once I finally did, everything changed!

Because ultimately, you are a product of who you hang around with. The people in your life influence you more than you can imagine.

So if they aren’t making you feel good, it might be time to let them go if you want to live a more authentic life.

6) Lying about the little things

Everyone lies sometimes. Or bends the truth. When it comes to someone’s hairstyle, outfit, or anything else about their appearance, I’m in full support of telling a little lie!

I’d happily tell my friends their top is great if they think it’s great. Because if they like it that’s all that matters!

But otherwise, let’s not lie about the little things. Let’s not lie about what someone said to make the story sound more in your favor.

Let’s not lie about how much something costs to make it sound like you spent more or less than you did.

And let’s not lie about things you’ve done to make yourself sound more “interesting”. It can only make you feel worse in the long run.

Plus, it won’t be putting you on the path to living a more authentic life…

7) Letting fear rule your life

Fear and anxiety are normal human emotions. We all get scared and anxious sometimes. But sometimes, we can let that anxiety get the better of us.

We can skip going to that mixer when we want to go. We can avoid going to the gym for fear of who will be there. We can say no to that date for fear of being rejected.

Whatever it is, if there are things you don’t do because you’re afraid of getting hurt, being rejected, or making a fool out of yourself, this isn’t a good way to live your life.

I think you already know this. And once you stop letting fear make all your decisions, and start doing what you truly want, you can open yourself up to so many more genuine experiences and people!

8) Breaking your promises

This is a pretty important one. If you want to live a more authentic life, stay true to your word and do what you say you will.

Of course, that doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind about some things. Don’t study to become a doctor just because you said you would when you were 12 if you’ve now changed your mind!

But don’t break the promises you make to other people. And, more importantly, to yourself.

If you tell a friend you’ll give them a ride on Saturday, don’t cancel when better plans crop up.

If you tell a date you’ll text or call them tomorrow, don’t make an excuse or ghost them.

If you tell yourself you’ll go to the gym tomorrow or wake up at 6am, don’t put it off for another day.

When you do this, all you do is lose the trust of others and the trust in yourself. You also aren’t living a life that’s true to what you really want!

9) Hiding how you really feel

“I’m fine” and “I’m not bothered” are phrases often said by people who aren’t fine and who are, in fact, very, very bothered!

I understand why you might want to hide your true feelings. You might not want to get hurt if you put your heart on the line. Or you might not want people to judge you for feeling the way you feel about someone or something.

But to create more meaningful connections with the people in your life, you need to start having more open and honest conversations.

Or at least, you need to start being true to yourself about how you feel. If you don’t want to admit to a friend that you’re not over your ex, admit it to yourself. Journal it out or meditate on it.

Because once you stop lying to yourself about how you feel, you can create a greater acceptance of yourself and who you are.

Which really, is what living an authentic life is all about!

Final thoughts

Being true to yourself isn’t always easy. It’s hard not to get wrapped up in gossip, drama, and living your life the way everyone else wants you to.

But deep down you know this isn’t the right path to be on in life.

If all you do is sacrifice your own needs for the sake of everyone else’s, you’re sacrificing your ability to live a life that’s full, meaningful, and truly authentic.

So take this moment as your sign to quit living life for other people and start doing what you want instead!