If your partner does these 9 things, they truly value your relationship

Just about nothing in our lives has the same capacity to be both wonderful and terrible as our romantic relationships.

That’s because no one can hurt us like the people we love.

But with that vulnerability comes the joy of building a relationship with another person that is one of the key parts of living a fulfilling life.

But how do you know that your partner values your relationship the same way you do?

Sure, they can tell you. But words aren’t always as powerful as we might want them to be.

Besides, some people have difficulty communicating how they feel in words.

Luckily, there are some signs that your partner values their relationship with you that go beyond anything they might say.

Keep an eye out for these signs that demonstrate your partner loves the relationship you have.

1) They want to spend time with you

Maybe this seems a little obvious. Of course a person wants to be with you wants to spend time with you.

On the other hand, you might be surprised how many people seem to want to avoid spending time with their partners as much as possible.

I used to work at a job in a very male-dominated field, and when the workday was over, most of the guys would go hang out together in a nearby park to smoke, chat, and be together.

There’s nothing wrong with that, but it happened almost every night.

When I asked several of the guys why they did it so much, they replied that it was better than going home to their wives.

Someone who values your relationship won’t try to avoid spending time with you. Instead, they will be happy to be around you.

That doesn’t mean they have to spend every waking minute with you. Alone time is important too, as we’ll discuss later in this article.

But valuing your relationship with someone means valuing the time the two of you spend together.

2) They trust you

If you can’t trust each other, you don’t really have a relationship. At least, not a healthy one.

Psychologist Jeremy Nicholson argues that people’s ability to trust a partner is often based on past experiences in life. At the same time, these past experiences are added to the treatment they are receiving from their current partner to create their level of trust.

So if you want to be trusted, you need to be worthy of that trust.

If your partner trusts you, it’s a good sign that they value the relationship you have. 

Whether it’s trusting you with money, trusting you to be faithful to them, or trusting you to make good decisions for your life together, a relationship built on trust is one that is likely to be happy for both partners.

3) They support you

Support can show itself in lots of different ways.

Sometimes it’s financial, like when my wife worked a job she hated to make enough money to support me while I started a new business.

Other times, it’s emotional, like when her father passed away while we were in the middle of selling our house, and I handled everything so she could be with her mom.

It really doesn’t matter what form the support takes. What matters is that your partner is there for you when you need them, whenever you need it.

If they do that, it’s almost certainly because they value the relationship you have.

4) They are comfortable being alone

This one’s a little counterintuitive.

After all, like I said earlier, a partner who values your relationship should want to spend time with you.

On the other hand, it’s also very important that they are comfortable spending time without you.

Here’s why:

Not being able to spend time apart can be a sign that partners in a relationship don’t trust each other. Or it can be a sign of emotional dependency.

Some people are in relationships purely because they are not comfortable being alone and can’t stand their own company.

On the other hand, with someone who is comfortable being alone, you don’t need to worry that they are only in a relationship with you because they don’t want to be lonely.

Instead, these people are with you because they value the relationship you have.

They don’t need you. They just want to be with you.

5) You can disagree

This is another less obvious sign of a healthy relationship.

No matter how close the two of you are, you’re not the same person. And no two individuals on earth agree on absolutely everything.

Therapist and psychology professor Emily Jensen points out that conflict is not a sign of a bad relationship.

In fact, never having any disagreements may be a sign that one or both of you is ignoring problems that may lead to resentment and cause bigger issues down the line.

If your relationship is going to last, it’s important that you can reach agreement on major issues like where to live, whether to have kids, and how you want your life together to look.

You don’t have to have the same taste in TV shows or the same political views to love someone.

And if someone is willing to disagree respectfully with your opinions butt still support and love you, it’s because they highly value your relationship.

6) They are thoughtful

Sometimes in a relationship, it’s the little gestures that show you your partner cares.

It’s easy to be materialistic and make a big show of handing over expensive gifts.

But it can be much more meaningful to meet someone’s needs without them even having to say anything.

It’s like when my wife buys foods she knows I like when she goes to the grocery store. It’s not so much about the food itself, and more about the fact that it shows she is thinking of me and what will make me happy even when I’m not around.

7) They respect your boundaries

Healthy relationships are built on personal boundaries.

We all have behaviors we can’t accept from others, and it’s vital that your partner respect those boundaries.

They might be financial, social, sexual, or emotional, but whatever form they take, boundaries are fundamental to our ideas of ourselves.

Ultimately, they tell the world how we will accept being treated and how we won’t.

This does not at all mean that your partner has to always do what you say. But it does mean they need to respect your decision when you draw a firm boundary about the kind of behavior you will and won’t tolerate.

It’s not about being controlling. Instead, as psychology professor Shawn Meghan Burn points out, boundaries are what prevent our relationships from turning toxic, manipulative, damaging, or even abusive.

8) They talk positively about their relationship to other people

Obviously, it’s not always possible to know what people say when we’re not around.

But often, you can get a sense of how your partner talks about your relationship from mutual friends or acquaintances.

People are unlikely to come right out and tell you what your partner says about their relationship, but you can get a vibe from the things they say or the things they know about you.

While it can be weird to attend a work Christmas party, for example, and find that your partner’s coworkers know a lot about your life together, it’s a good sign that your partner talks about you and your relationship positively when you’re not around to hear.

9) They see you as part of their future

This is one of the best signs of a partner who is fully invested in the relationship you have together.

Do they make future plans that involve you? Do their hopes and dreams assume that you will be part of their life going forward?

If so, it means that they can’t imagine the future unless it has you in it.

And that’s a sure sign that they value the relationship you have and don’t want to lose it, or you.

Valuing your relationship

It’s nice to hear that your partner is happy with the relationship you have together. But sometimes, actions speak louder than words.

If you notice your partner doing these things, you should feel good about your relationship, because your partner clearly values what they have with you.