If your partner does these 6 things, they’re not worthy of your love

by Isabel Cabrera | October 27, 2023, 5:58 pm

Have you ever put your heart and soul into a relationship only to realize you’re not getting the happiness you deserve in return? 

I know what that’s like. My ex wasn’t a terrible person, but our relationship was far from healthy. 

I tried my best to keep the love alive, only to find myself unhappy and drained. 

The truth is, his actions and behaviors were red flags I should have paid attention to. 

And I’d like to save others from the heartache I went through myself.

In this article, I’m going to share 6 specific things your partner might do that are signs they’re not worthy of your unconditional love.

1) They’re dishonest

We’ve all heard that honesty is the best policy, but what happens when the person you’re supposed to trust the most starts bending the truth? 

In my relationship, small lies started creeping in like unwelcome guests. They were minor — lies about why they were late, or little omissions about who they were with. 

Let’s be clear, nobody is perfect. We’ve all stretched the truth or kept secrets to avoid conflict, including me. 

But I’ve come to realize that love only thrives in an environment of openness and vulnerability. So if your partner really invests themselves in loving you, they have to learn to be honest.

If you need to keep secrets from each other, it’s a sign someone is probably doing something they shouldn’t be — or the other one is too controlling or conflictive. Neither of these scenarios sounds like they’ll lead to a happily ever after. 

So if you don’t already, you really should have a zero lies policy. It might sound harsh, but it’s for the good of both your genuine happiness in the relationship. 

2) They emotionally manipulate you

The term “emotional manipulation” might sound extreme, but it can be far more subtle than you’d expect, making it hard to recognize, especially when you’re deeply in love and want things to work. 

It can show up in various small ways, like guilt-tripping you into doing things or twisting your words to make it seem like you’re the one at fault for issues.

For example, if you express that you need more quality time together, your partner might turn it around and tell you that you’re being too needy or clingy. 

Or, if you’re upset about something they did, they might play the victim, making you feel guilty for even bringing it up.

It’s a confusing, emotional maze. When it gets particularly extreme, you may even start to feel like you’re losing your grip on reality — which is a manipulative tactic called gaslighting. 

It’s hard to spot emotional manipulation when you’re in the thick of it because love, or what you believe to be love, blinds you. 

But take a step back and look at patterns in their behavior. We all have our moments of being emotionally complex, but ongoing manipulation is sure to snuff out the love. 

3) They disrespect you

You know that gut-wrenching feeling when you realize you’re not the star in your own love story? Actually, I hope you don’t know it — but that was me, watching my ex ogle other women and openly discuss how attractive his female friends were, right in front of my face. 

Each comment chipped away at my self-esteem, leaving me to question why I wasn’t enough for him.

It’s like he held my heart in one hand while casually browsing for other options with the other. If he wasn’t one hundred percent into me, he should have set me free to find someone who was. 

Feeling replaceable in a relationship is a soul-crushing experience, one that no amount of “I love you’s” can repair. 

Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re just a placeholder in their life. True love should make you feel valued, not disposable. 

If your partner can’t give you that basic level of respect — as well as all its other forms, which are equally vital — then maybe they’re not as worthy of your love as you once thought.

4) They physically or verbally abuse you

I feel grateful to say that I personally never experienced this in my relationship. But I’ve seen friends go through it, and it breaks my heart every time. 

There is simply no room for physical or verbal abuse in any relationship that wants to call itself “loving.”

Physical abuse is easy to recognize as a red flag, but verbal abuse can be more insidious. Insults, name-calling, constant criticism, and belittling can wear down your sense of self over time, often without you even realizing it. 

You might start to feel like you’re not worthy of love or happiness. You might even start to believe that their toxic words are true.

Whether it’s a slap, a cruel comment, or a disparaging look, abuse is abuse. None of these actions come from a place of love or respect; they come from a need to control and dominate. 

Love should never make you feel scared or small; it should uplift you, making you feel secure and cherished.

If you ever find yourself justifying your partner’s abusive behavior, pause for a moment and consider this: You deserve a love that adds joy to your life, not fear. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Always. There is no “but” or “maybe” about it.

So, if you’re in an abusive relationship, please seek help immediately. You’re worth so much more than the pain you’re enduring. And never forget, the fault lies entirely with the abuser, not you.

5) They don’t make an effort to solve issues

Talking about your feelings and concerns is crucial in any relationship. I remember sitting down with my ex and calmly discussing things that were bothering me. 

We’d have these heart-to-heart conversations where we’d seemingly agree on solutions. But guess what? He never actually followed through. 

The issues that caused tension between us remained unsolved, like an ever-recurring bad dream.

It’s so frustrating when you open up about your needs and grievances only to see zero change. It’s not just the disappointment; it’s the realization that you’re stuck in a cycle that’s going nowhere. 

I came to understand that if we continued down that road, we’d be revisiting the same problems for the rest of our lives.

If your partner isn’t willing to put in the effort to resolve issues, it’s a glaring red flag. Relationships require compromise, effort, and yes, sometimes sacrifice. 

If you’re the only one making the effort, you’re basically in a relationship with yourself, just with extra steps and a lot more heartache. 

6) They don’t communicate

I truly believe that communication is a skill anyone can learn. But what if the person you love simply refuses to? Or maybe they claim they want to communicate but their actions speak otherwise. Either way, it’s a massive red flag for any relationship.

In a healthy partnership, both people should be able to openly express their feelings, share their thoughts, and discuss their needs and wants. It’s the lifeline of any relationship. 

If one of you is holding back or shutting down, it creates a disconnect that can slowly but surely erode the bond between you.

There’s a saying that goes, “A problem well-stated is a problem half-solved.” In a relationship, stating the problem is the first step toward resolving it. 

But if your partner isn’t willing to even get that far, then the odds of having a happy, lasting relationship are against you.

A love built on silence and assumptions is a house of cards, just waiting for a gentle breeze to topple it over. 

So, if you find yourself in a relationship where open dialogue is a rarity rather than the norm, it may be time to reevaluate just how compatible you truly are.

Love yourself enough to know when it’s time to walk away

We all crave love and connection; it’s what makes us human. But it’s crucial to remember that not all love is created equal. 

Sometimes, the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do is to admit that the love you have isn’t the love you deserve. 

I’ve been there, and it was a tough pill to swallow. But in the end, it opened the door for me to find a love that genuinely nourished my soul.

Don’t compromise your worth for the sake of being in a relationship. From dishonesty and emotional manipulation to a lack of effort in resolving issues, these are signs that you should never overlook.

 If your partner engages in these behaviors, it’s not your duty to endure it. Your duty is to yourself, to seek happiness and fulfillment in a loving, respectful partnership.

You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued, heard, and loved just the way you are. 

If your current relationship isn’t serving you in this manner, then perhaps it’s time to take that brave step. Love yourself enough to know when it’s time to walk away.

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