If your partner often uses these 8 phrases, they probably don’t see a future with you

by Joyce Ann Isidro | December 3, 2023, 10:13 pm

We all crave a sense of security in our relationships. But sometimes, it’s hard to shake off that nagging doubt.

Are they really in this for the long haul, or is your relationship just a ticking time bomb?

It can sometimes feel like you’re running circles, like your future aspirations are not aligned, and you’re simply not valued in the relationship.

If this sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone. Many of us have been there, feeling like our efforts are not appreciated or even recognized.

So, if you’re looking for some comfort, perhaps this article is for you.

Today, we dive into some key phrases your partner might be using that suggest they probably don’t see a future with you.

This might seem a bit harsh, but remember, my intention is not to incite fear or push you to end things prematurely. It’s merely to make you aware of some tell-tale signs that we often overlook.

Who knows? You might already be aware of these.

1) They avoid making long-term plans

This one really hit home for me in one of my past relationships.

We were together for a good while, but every time I tried to plan something for the distant future—be it a vacation, a concert, or even just a family gathering—they would always dodge it.

“Let’s see,” they’d say, or “We’ll figure it out later.”

At first, I brushed it off as them just being spontaneous. But as time went on, I realized that this was their way of avoiding any commitment to a shared future.

It was subtle, but the message was clear: they didn’t see us together in the long run.

2) They’re vague about their personal goals

We all have our own dreams and ambitions, right?

But in a relationship, you’d expect to at least know what your partner’s are. Yet, in this particular relationship, every time I asked about their goals or plans for the future, the answers were always vague.

Of course, I respected their need for personal space and time to figure things out. But then I realized that not once had they mentioned us or our relationship in their future.

It showed me that their personal goals were vague because they didn’t include me in them.

It took me a while, but in the end, I finally realized that I deserve so much more than a person who doesn’t see a future with me.

3) They use “I” instead of “We”

Language is a powerful tool. It can subtly reveal the inner thoughts and feelings of a person. 

If your partner often talks about their future using “I” instead of “we”, it might be an indication that they don’t envision a future with you in it.

For instance, if they say, “I plan to move to another city next year,” instead of “We should consider moving to another city,” it’s a clear sign that they’re thinking about their future as an individual, not as a couple. 

4) They don’t involve you in major decisions

When you’re in a relationship, it’s not just about two individuals anymore; it’s about two lives intertwining.

And when you see a future with someone, you naturally want to involve them in your major decisions because their opinion matters to you. It’s not about seeking permission; it’s about respect and consideration for the other person.

So if your partner often makes significant decisions without consulting or even informing you, it may be a sign that they don’t see a future with you.

Whether it’s a career move, financial choices, or even something as simple as adopting a pet, if they’re making these decisions solo, it might suggest they are planning their future without you in the picture.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not about control, but about inclusion.

When we love someone and see them in our future, we want them to be a part of our decision-making process because their happiness is tied to ours.

5) They don’t talk about you to their friends or family

I remember dating someone who was very private about his personal life.

At first, I respected his need for privacy. But as months passed, I realized I had never met any of his friends or family. Whenever I asked about them, he would quickly change the topic.

One day, I bumped into one of his friends at a coffee shop. As we chatted, it became clear that he had no idea about me.

It felt like a punch to the gut.

Here I was, thinking we were building a future together, and he hadn’t even mentioned me to his closest friends.

If your partner doesn’t talk about you to their friends or family, it might be a sign that they don’t see a future with you. If they did, they’d want you to be a part of their social circles and have a relationship with the people they care about. It’s these small things that often reveal the bigger picture.

6) They avoid discussing serious topics

Communication is the backbone of any successful relationship. It’s through conversations that we get to understand our partner’s thoughts, feelings, and expectations.

If your partner often avoids discussing serious matters like marriage, kids, or financial planning, it could be a sign that they don’t see a future with you.

I know because I’ve experienced this firsthand.

My ex would always change the subject or say something like “let’s not ruin the moment with serious talk” whenever I tried to steer the conversation towards our future. This evasiveness is a clear signal that they aren’t seeing a long-term future with you.

7) They don’t include you in their future self

When your partner talks about their future self, do they include you in it?

If they often discuss their dreams and ambitions without mentioning you or your role in it, they probably don’t see a future with you.

For instance, if they say, “I see myself living in a beach house in the next five years,” but don’t mention anything about you being there with them, it’s a sign that they’re envisioning their future without you.

8) They keep their options open

This one is a bit tough to swallow. If your partner often uses phrases like “you never know what might happen” or “I like to keep my options open”, it could indicate that they aren’t fully committed to the relationship.

It’s like they’re leaving the door slightly ajar for someone else to walk in. And that’s not fair to you.

Because when someone sees a future with you, they close other doors and focus on the ones you can walk through together.

Final thoughts

In conclusion, these phrases and signs might seem subtle but can reveal significant insights into your partner’s thoughts about your future together.

Remember, actions speak louder than words. It’s not just about what they say but what they do that truly shows their commitment to you and the relationship.

If these signs resonate with your situation, it might be time for a serious talk with your partner or even to reconsider the relationship. Your happiness and peace of mind should always come first.

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