If your partner uses these 8 phrases, they’re having doubts about the relationship

Almost nothing on earth has more power to make life worth living than a great relationship.

Unfortunately, the flipside of that is that few things have the power to hurt us like intimate relationships do.

So it’s only natural to want to know where you stand in your relationship with your partner.

Until we learn to read each other’s minds, the only thing we have to go on is what we say to one another. But there are some phrases that can be a worrying sign that something is going wrong in your relationship.

Listen out for phrases like the ones in this list. Because if someone you care about says them to you, it’s a sure sign your relationship with them is in serious danger.

1) I need some space.

It’s hard not to worry when you hear your partner say a phrase like this.

At the same time, you need to respect it.

Sometimes, people really do need their own space to figure out how they feel and where they stand in their relationship with you.

And if someone you love asks you to give them space to figure things out, the last thing you should do is try and stop them – no matter how hard it may be to resist.

“Normally, it’s a good thing to be connected, and the more connected the better, but there’s a certain extreme point where you feel like you’ve lost who you are,” says professor in social and health psychology Arthur Aron.

And when that happens, a little bit of space may provide time for both partners to adjust and reconfigure their relationship. Having doubts isn’t the same thing as wanting to end it all.

So respect it if your partner tells you they need space, even if it’s painful for you to hear. It’s possible your relationship will end up stronger because of it.

2) I’m not sure what I want right now.

This is another phrase you need to watch out for.

The thing is, relationships work best when both partners know what they want. Not only from the relationship but from life in general. That way, they can clearly communicate their needs and requirements with one another and build something healthy and positive together.

On the other hand, when your partner doesn’t know what they want, it’s going to be very difficult if not impossible for you to give it to them.

Also, people sometimes say this as a cover. Maybe they do know what they want, but you aren’t part of it.

Either way, this phrase signifies something has gone wrong in your relationship. Both you and your partner need to figure out what it is they do want if you want your partnership to last.

3) I don’t know if I’m ready for a commitment

This one depends entirely on where you are in your relationship.

Not everyone wants a commitment, and that’s fine – so long as both of you are on the same page.

But if you are ready to commit and your partner isn’t, you’re heading for trouble.

Psychologist Jeremy Nicholson points out that there are several factors you need to consider before making a commitment to one another.

•       Is this a good time for you to have a serious relationship?
•       Are both you and your partner ready for commitment?
•       Does your relationship have the right dynamics for a lasting commitment?

Ultimately, you can’t force someone to love you. And you can’t force someone to commit to a relationship they are having doubts about.

So if your partner expresses doubts about commitment, it’s important to listen to them and get to the bottom of why they feel the way they do before you commit to a relationship that isn’t going to last.

4) I feel like something is missing

The trouble with a phrase like this is that it is nonspecific. But that doesn’t mean you can ignore it.

We don’t always have a good handle on the way we feel, or the language to express it properly. So if your partner tells you they feel something is missing, you need to pay attention.

Try if you can to find out what exactly they feel is missing in the relationship, and see if it’s something you can provide.

It’s important to do this in a constructive and respectful way. Try not to feel attacked, but instead focus on what they feel is missing and what the two of you can do together to change that feeling.

Remember, in a relationship, it’s not you versus each other. It’s the two of you versus the problem.

5) I feel like we’re drifting apart

Obviously, this is a very dangerous thing to hear from someone you’re in a relationship with.

And if you hear a phrase like this, you need to take it very seriously.

First, ask yourself if you feel the same way. Often, relationship problems don’t come out of the blue, and you may have had a similar feeling yourself.

Then, talk to your partner. Try to figure out why they feel that the closeness you once had is fading away. Maybe it’s something you did, or failed to do. Maybe it’s something they have or haven’t done.

Relationships go through a kind of ebb and flow, and you won’t always feel as close to your partner as you may want to. But a feeling of the two of you drifting apart is something that needs to be addressed if you want your relationship to last.

6) I don’t feel like we want the same things

People often underestimate how important shared goals are in a relationship.

One of the biggest and most obvious ones is whether or not to have kids. But there are other life goals and ambitions that you both need to be on the same page with.

Do you both want to live in the same town? Do you support one another in your career ambitions? When you think of your perfect life, are your visions at least similar?

If not, your relationship is in serious trouble.

Sometimes, a little compromise can go a long way to dealing with the feeling that the two of you are on different paths. However, there is such a thing as too much compromise. You can’t sacrifice everything you are to a relationship, and you can’t ask that of your partner either.

7) I don’t feel valued by you

Feeling valued, respected, and loved is vital to any relationship. In fact, you could argue it’s the whole point of the relationship in the first place.

So if your partner no longer feels valued by you, it’s a sure sign of trouble.

Luckily, because this phrase focuses on you, there may be something you can do about it. Ask your partner why they don’t feel valued, and what you can do to make things better.

“To truly make your partner feel valued, focus on understanding their individual preferences and showing appreciation for their unique qualities,” says clinical psychologist Ryan Warner. Showing that you appreciate your partner as an individual can help restore that feeling of being valued, respected, and loved by you.

If someone you care about is brave enough to be honest with you like this, don’t ignore or dismiss their concerns. It may not be too late to save your relationship, but it’s going to require effort from both of you to get things back on track.

8) I’m not sure we’re right for each other

This is definitely a bad thing to hear from someone you care about. In fact, this is often something people say on their way out of the door.

Ultimately, you can’t make someone love you. And if they are not getting what they need from the relationship, even after you’ve tried your best, you have to accept that maybe they are right.

Not everyone is right for everyone else, and just because you want something to be true doesn’t make it so.

Sometimes, you have to let it go.

Fixing a failing relationship

Healthy communication with your partner is the key to keeping your relationship alive, starting with what you say to one another.

So if your partner uses any of these phrases, take their concerns seriously. Try to talk to them about their doubts and concerns in an open and nonjudgmental way. Pointing fingers and assigning blame will only make things worse.

You can still save a relationship that your significant other has doubts about. But you won’t be able to do a thing to save it until you can talk openly and honestly with one another.