7 subtle habits make you look like you have no self-control, according to psychology

Self-control is a strange beast. Sometimes we think we’ve got a solid grip on it, then there are moments when it slips right through our fingers.

As we navigate through life, we pick up habits along the way—some good, others less so—and then there are those subtle ones that make it seem like you’re a little loose on the self-control front.

Psychology has a thing or two to say about these habits.

In this article, we’ll delve into seven of these subtle habits that might just be giving off the impression you lack self-control.

Though you may not even be aware of them, by the end of this piece, you’ll be well-armed to tackle them head-on. Let’s dive in and start reclaiming your image of self-control, one habit at a time:

1) The constant checker

We’re living in a digital age, where it’s hard not to get drawn into the whirlpool of social media, emails, and constant notifications.

However, there’s a fine line between being connected and being compulsively tethered to our devices.

If you find yourself incessantly checking your phone or email even in the middle of a face-to-face conversation, it subtly tells others that you lack self-control.

The first step towards regaining control? Be conscious of your screen time and make an effort to unplug when interacting with others.

After all, being present in the moment shows much more self-control than constantly refreshing your email inbox.

2) Procrastination’s tight grip

I remember a time when I had a significant report due for work. It was a task that required a good deal of time and focus.

Yet, I found myself repeatedly pushing it off, distracting myself with less urgent tasks. Before I knew it, the deadline was looming and I was scrambling to get it done.

This procrastination habit might seem harmless, but it’s a subtle sign of lacking self-control.

In an article focusing on the psychology of procrastination, the famous psychologist Dr. Joseph Ferrari mentions, “Everyone procrastinates, but not everyone is a procrastinator.”

It’s normal to put things off occasionally, but when it becomes a regular practice, it can reflect poorly on your self-control.

The key is to recognize this habit and tackle it head-on. Prioritize your tasks and break them into manageable chunks.

Not only will this boost your productivity but also paint you in a light of greater self-control.

3) Impulsive spending

Ever found yourself making a purchase you don’t need, simply because it was on sale or caught your eye?

Impulsive buying is a subtle habit that screams lack of self-control; impulsive spending is more than just burning a hole in your pocket because it’s a reflection of our inability to control our wants and prioritize our needs.

Next time you’re tempted to make an impulsive buy, take a moment to ask yourself: Do I really need this?

Practicing this simple habit can help portray better self-control and also save your hard-earned money.

4) Neglecting self-care

You may not realize it, but neglecting self-care—like skipping meals, not getting enough sleep, or not taking breaks—is a subtle habit that indicates a lack of self-control.

A study conducted by the Frontiers in Human Neuroscience also believe that people who prioritize self-care, like ensuring adequate sleep and maintaining a balanced diet, tend to have better self-control.

They are more likely to resist temptations and make better decisions.

The logic is simple: When you’re well-rested and well-nourished, you’re in a better position to exercise self-control.

Conversely, when you’re tired or hungry, it becomes much harder to resist temptations.

So, the next time you find yourself pushing through lunchtime or staying up late to finish work, remember that taking care of your basic needs is crucial for showcasing your self-control.

5) Losing your temper

I’ve always believed that patience is a virtue. Yet, there are moments when our patience wears thin and we lose our cool.

While it’s human to have such moments, frequent outbursts of anger subtly indicate a lack of self-control.

Dr. Albert Ellis, a prominent psychologist and developer of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, once said, “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”

Losing your temper often stems from blaming others for our problems but, the truth is, we control our reactions.

Next time you feel your temper flaring, take a deep breath and remember Dr. Ellis’s words.

It’s up to you to control your destiny—and that includes your emotional reactions as well.

6) Being overly agreeable

You might think that always agreeing with others is a way to be likable and avoid conflict.

But guess what? Being overly agreeable can actually be a subtle sign of lacking self-control.

Always agreeing with others means ignoring your own beliefs and needs, a clear sign of not having control over your own decisions.

It’s okay to disagree and it’s okay to stand by your beliefs.

Balancing the ability to voice your opinions while respecting those of others is a true testament to self-control.

7) Overpromising

Promising more than we can deliver is a habit many of us are guilty of.

We do it with the best of intentions, but it subtly signals a lack of self-control.

As renowned psychologist, Dr. Carl Jung, once said, “You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.”

Let’s keep our promises realistic and deliver on them—that’s a true sign of self-control and reliability.

Wrapping up

Reflecting on our habits, it’s clear that self-control isn’t just about resisting that extra slice of cake or sticking to a workout schedule. It seeps into every aspect of our lives.

From how we interact with technology to how we manage our time, from how we spend our money to how we take care of ourselves—every subtle habit is a mirror reflecting our level of self-control.

Recognizing these habits is the first step towards better self-control.

As we become more mindful of our actions and their implications, we can start to make changes, replacing these habits with ones that reflect the self-controlled individuals we aspire to be.

Let’s take a moment to reflect: Are there any subtle habits you’d like to change? Remember, it’s within your control!