People who are easy to talk to usually do these 7 simple things without realizing it

I’ve often been told I’m easy to talk to; strangers spill their life stories, friends open up about their deepest secrets, and even my dentist likes to chat during cleanings (as awkward as that might be).

So, what’s my secret? Honestly, I didn’t know but, after some reflection, I realized that those of us who are dubbed ‘easy to talk to’ tend to do a few simple things without even realizing it.

It’s more about subtle habits that make others feel comfortable and understood, and the good news is that anyone can adopt these habits.

In this article, we’re going to delve into the seven simple things that people who are easy to chat with tend to do. Adopting these habits could not only enhance your personal relationships but could also be beneficial professionally:

1) They genuinely listen

Ever notice how some people have a knack for making you feel like the only person in the room—how they make your worries seem important, your stories intriguing, and your jokes downright hilarious?

Well, chances are they’re really good at listening.

Not just the ‘I’m-nodding-and-smiling-but-actually-thinking-about-what-I’m-having-for-dinner’ kind of listening. I mean genuine, whole-hearted listening.

People who are easy to talk to often focus entirely on the person they’re speaking with.

They’re not distracted by their phones, not glancing at their watches, and certainly not interrupting with their own tales. They understand that listening is about showing interest, asking thoughtful questions, and responding in a way that shows they’ve truly understood.

In a world where everyone is vying for a chance to speak, being a good listener can make you a magnet for meaningful conversations.

Who knows, you might even pick up some interesting stories along the way!

2) They find common ground

A few years back, I found myself at a networking event, surrounded by people from all walks of life.

I remember feeling slightly overwhelmed—until I met Sarah.

Sarah was a book editor, while I was just starting my career in academia. On the surface, we had little in common but, rather than sticking to polite small talk, Sarah started asking about my research area.

Turns out, she had a personal interest in the same field! We spent the rest of the evening engrossed in conversation, discussing everything from our favourite authors to recent breakthroughs in the field.

That’s when I realized: People who are easy to talk to, like Sarah, have a knack for finding common ground.

They weave threads of similarity into conversations, making them relatable and engaging, and they’re not afraid to share their experiences or interests and are always curious to learn about others’.

Finding common ground is about creating a shared understanding that fosters connection and communication—something that can turn even the most daunting networking event into an enjoyable experience!

3) They aren’t afraid to show vulnerability

I’ll be honest, there was a time when I thought being easy to talk to meant always having the right words, always being strong and confident.

However, I’ve come to learn that this isn’t the case.

People who are easy to talk to are often those who aren’t afraid to be vulnerable.

They understand that nobody’s perfect, and life isn’t always rosy so they don’t try to put up a façade of perfection.

I remember a conversation with a friend who was going through a tough time. I didn’t have any sage advice or solutions for her problems, but I shared my own struggles, my doubts, my failures.

To my surprise, she thanked me for being so ‘real’. She said it made her feel less alone in what she was going through.

Being vulnerable doesn’t mean playing the victim or constantly talking about your problems.

It’s about showing your human side—our joys, your sorrows, your fears, and hopes—and about letting people see you as you are, not as you think you should be.

In doing so, you create a safe space for others to do the same.

You invite honesty, foster empathy, and build deeper connections because, at the end of the day, we all crave authenticity in our interactions.

4) They use positive body language

Have you ever noticed how some people can make you feel at ease without saying a word?

Their secret might lie in the silent language we all speak—body language.

People who are easy to talk to often use positive body language that makes others feel comfortable and accepted.

For instance, they maintain good eye contact, which shows they’re paying attention.

They nod in agreement, smile genuinely, and lean in slightly when you’re speaking, signalling their interest.

It’s not just about what they do, but also what they don’t do. They avoid crossing their arms or looking at their watches, which could come off as defensive or disinterested.

Communication is not just about words—our gestures, facial expressions, and posture can speak volumes about our attitude and emotions.

5) They mirror the other person’s speech and behavior

Once during a language course, I learned about a fascinating phenomenon called ‘linguistic mirroring’.

This is when we subconsciously start mimicking the speech patterns, gestures, and demeanor of the person we’re talking to.

It turns out, this isn’t just limited to language learning. In fact, it’s something people who are easy to talk to do quite often.

Mirroring can range from adopting similar body language to using the same vocabulary or speech tempo—it’s a subtle way of saying, “I’m like you. I understand you.”

This can build rapport and a sense of camaraderie. However, it’s essential to keep it natural and genuine because it overdoing it can come off as mimicry or mockery, which can have the opposite effect.

6) They show empathy

I remember once sharing a deep-seated fear with a friend, expecting her to laugh or dismiss it.

Instead, she looked me in the eye and said, “That sounds really tough. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you.”

Her empathetic response made me feel seen and understood. And that’s precisely what people who are easy to talk to do.

Empathy is about stepping into someone else’s shoes and understanding their feelings without judgment, and about validating their emotions and letting them know they’re not alone.

Showing empathy means simply acknowledging their perspective and feelings as valid, even if they’re different from yours.

By doing so, you create a safe and trusting environment for others to express themselves freely.

7) They are authentic

At the heart of it all, people who are easy to talk to are simply themselves.

They aren’t trying to impress, manipulate, or win you over because they’re just being authentic.

Authenticity breeds trust and respect. It shows you’re comfortable in your own skin, and that encourages others to be the same.

Don’t try to fit a mold or emulate someone else’s style of communication.

Be true to yourself, your values, and your personality because, in a world full of pretense, being real is the most refreshing conversation starter there is.

Wrapping it up

Being easy to talk to isn’t about following a manual or ticking off a checklist. It’s about being human—connection, understanding, empathy and authenticity.

Think of these pointers not as a roadmap, but as signposts along your journey of personal growth and effective communication.

You might find you’re already doing some of these things without even realizing it, or you might find areas you’d like to work on.

Either way, the goal is not to become someone else. The goal is to become the best communicator you can be, in your own unique way.

After all, being easy to talk to is about making us feel good too by fostering understanding, building bridges, and creating meaningful connections.

Go ahead, apply these insights and see how they enrich your conversations and relationships but, most importantly, don’t forget to enjoy the journey!