9 little-known ways being single is a strength, according to psychology

Times are definitely changing. More of us are staying single these days and for longer.

But it can still be seen in a negative light, and society often places a strong emphasis on finding a partner.

So perhaps it’s time to shine the spotlight on all the benefits being single can bring.

Because psychology suggests that there are lots of ways it can be a strength, and I know some are going to surprise you.

So let’s take a look.

1) You have greater freedom

Can I tell you a secret?

After many years of my life spent single, I am currently in a relationship. And the number one thing I miss the most is the freedom.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I feel tied down. But there is no denying that when you are flying solo, it’s easier because you only have to consider yourself and your needs and wants.

That is a true gift that in itself offers up countless little benefits.

For example, did you know that research shows that single guys and gals do significantly less housework than their married counterparts?

Rather than running around after others, you get to be out there living your best life. 

Financially speaking you have a lot more freedom too, as studies have shown that single people are in way less debt.

The freedom to make choices for ourselves is one we can all too often overlook, but being single can help us to truly embrace this.

One survey noted that single people cared more than married people about values such as freedom, creativity, and trying new things.

That’s significant as these values are associated with greater happiness levels.

When you are single the world is your oyster, adventures await, and there is nothing to tie you down. That’s liberating.

2) It builds independence

It’s only natural that when you’re on your own you have to become more self-reliant.

That goes for practical skills like fixing things around the house. But it also applies emotionally too, as you hopefully learn how to tend to your own emotional needs.

Research backs up this notion that, as a psychological resource, self-sufficiency serves single people better than married people.

It builds this sense of learning to take care of yourself.

Perhaps this is why one study noted that for single women, their top three priorities in life had nothing to do with romance, marriage, or family.

As explained by CNBC:

“Forty-four percent of single women respondents ranked “living on your own” as their No. 1 priority, 34 percent ranked establishing a career as their top priority and 27 percent ranked financial security as most important.”

The results left the authors of the study to conclude that:

“On the whole, today’s single women have a strong sense of self and reject the outdated notion that they’re missing out on all that life has to offer.

3) It boosts your true inner confidence

Lots of people would say that they feel at their most confident when they are happily in love.

But it’s not always so straightforward as that.

Because all too often, we mistake what is external validation for our own inner confidence.

You are getting a boost from feeling accepted, wanted, and admired by someone else, and that’s not the same thing.

If the relationship doesn’t work out and suddenly that boost to your self-esteem is taken away from you, your confidence falters.

As explained by psychologist Carolin Müller:

“You will feel like you’re in withdrawal and this is a bad feeling. But this is not because being alone is so bad, it’s because you are dependent on the validation of the person in the first place.”

It’s natural to a certain extent to seek the approval of those we care about. But real emotional resilience and strength come from finding it first and foremost from ourselves.

That’s why, in the long run, a single life can be good for your self-esteem if you learn how to give yourself this.

4) You get to focus on your own growth

Without the distractions of a relationship, you have more time to focus on you. And research shows this is one of the highlights of being single. 

Time alone can be powerful. People who learn to embrace solitude are less likely to feel lonely and are more likely to use their solitude constructively.

One of the practical benefits comes from giving you the space to reflect on your values, goals, and interests.

They say that you have to learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else. I’m not sure that’s true.

But what is true is that self-awareness is not only good for us but good for our relationships too.

When you go on a journey of self-discovery you find growth and development.

If you want to be a lifelong learner perhaps being single is the way to go.

One study found that single people were more likely to agree with statements such as, “For me, life has been a continuous process of learning, change, and growth.”

Meanwhile, the married folks were more likely to agree with statements such as, “I gave up trying to make big improvements in my life a long time ago.”

5) It can advance your career

One of the reasons often given for staying single is that “I’m focusing on my career right now”.

But does your relationship status really give you a leg up the ladder?

Maybe.

After all, your priorities often shift.

For example, one study found that guys who were married dedicated far less time to work-related pursuits.

The reality is that single people may find it easier to devote more focus to their learning, career goals, and ambitions.

Maybe that’s why research noted that singletons usually enjoy their work more because they value doing meaningful work.

6) You’re protected from a lot of stress

Think back to some of your most harrowing times in life.

There’s a good chance that failed romance or boyfriend/girlfriend drama ranks high up there.

Sure, relationships can be great, but there’s no denying they can also be stressful.   

Single times in our life can offer up our most carefree experiences, without the pressures and expectations sometimes related to being in a couple. 

It’s easy to wear rose-tinted glasses when it comes to relationships. But it’s important to remember that they can come with their own set of stresses and anxieties.

As dating expert Susan Winters reminds us:

“Believe it or not, relationships are ‘mentally’ expensive. Intimacy and partnership takes up a lot of space in our heads. Even though much of this is happening unconsciously, there’s simply a lesser capacity for individually focused thought. Emotional discord can be all-consuming as it removes us from the present moment and present situation.”

So single life may well be better for your mental health too.

7) It might make you fitter

Anecdotally I’ve noticed how single me eats better, exercises more, and generally takes better care of herself.

Maybe you’ve found this too?

It’s something that research backs up.

The results are in and single people:

• Exercise more than married people
• Have lower BMIs and other health risks associated with smoking and alcohol
• Weigh on average 5 lbs less than married people

This is another one that may all come down to having more time and different priorities than when you are in a relationship.

But it seems your body may thank you for your relationship status.

8) You put the work into closer social connections

We’ve clearly established that romantic relationships take work and time. That’s energy that is often taken away from nurturing other connections.

It’s perhaps unsurprising then that single folk tend to have stronger social connections, with more time to invest in friendships, family, and other relationships.

Far from being sat around with nothing to do, studies have shown that single people often lead busier lives, having more friends and doing more activities.

We’ve probably all experienced first hand this phenomenon:

When you’re coupled up, it’s easy to retreat into your own little bubble.

Research has backed that up, showing that when people get married they tend to become less connected to their friends and their parents.

Strong social connections have been proven to be crucial for overall happiness and well-being, so this might bring with it some long-term benefits.

9) You give more back to the world

I’m not suggesting that people who are coupled up are more intrinsically selfish. Yet the research is clear:

Single folk volunteer far more and arguably give more to society in a variety of ways.

It could be that they have more time to do so. It may also stem from a desire to feel a greater connection to others.

But for whatever reasons, the fact is that single people have been shown to give more of their time, money, and care to others.

For example, it’s been estimated single women could contribute over a million dollars more in taxes compared to married women throughout their working lives.

Meanwhile, another study noted that it was lifelong single women without children who did the most volunteering. 

This even left one sociologist’s study to conclude that “…marriage reduces kinship, community, and even the vibrancy of public life”.

So maybe being single isn’t just a strength within you, it’s one that you can also share with the rest of the world!