People who are great at small talk have these 12 traits

Ever been at a party, holding your drink and feeling lost while everyone else is chatting away?

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one. Small talk isn’t easy for everyone.

But some people seem to do it so well, don’t they?

They can talk about anything with anyone, even if they’ve just met.

But how do they do it?

In this article, we’re going to talk about the 12 things that people who are good at small talk have in common.

These are the people who can start a fun chat about the weather or make you feel relaxed at a big event.

So, if you want to get better at small talk or if you’re just wondering what their secret is, keep reading!

You might find out that being good at small talk is not as hard as you thought.

1. They’re Curious by Nature

Ever noticed how some people can turn even a mundane topic into a fascinating conversation?

Well, that’s because they’re genuinely curious.

They have a natural desire to learn and understand things, even if it’s something as simple as how your day went.

They ask open-ended questions that invite you to share more than just a ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

This curiosity makes them great listeners too.

Because they’re not just waiting for their turn to speak, they’re genuinely interested in what you have to say.

So, if you’re looking to master the art of small talk, start by nurturing your curiosity.

Ask questions and take an interest in the answers.

You’d be surprised at how far a little curiosity can go in sparking engaging conversations. 

2. They’re Great at Observing

People who are great at small talk are like detectives in disguise.

They have a sharp eye for details, picking up on things that most of us would overlook.

Maybe it’s the book you’re carrying, or the band on your t-shirt, or even the way you sip your coffee.

They use these little observations as conversation starters, making their small talk feel personalized and interesting.

It’s like they have a sixth sense for finding common ground, even with complete strangers.

So when you’re in a conversation, try to be more observant.

Pay attention to the small details. It could be your ticket to a more engaging and meaningful chat. 

3. They’re Positive and Enthusiastic

Here’s the thing about people who are great at small talk – they’re usually full of positive vibes.

They have this infectious enthusiasm that can turn even a dull conversation into a lively one. And I can tell you this from personal experience.

I remember meeting this woman at a networking event. The room was filled with people, all engrossed in their own conversations.

I felt a bit out of place, unsure of how to break the ice. That’s when she walked up to me with a smile and started talking about the quirky artwork on the walls.

Her enthusiasm was contagious. It didn’t matter that we were talking about something as trivial as wall art; her positivity made the conversation enjoyable.

So, if you want to get better at small talk, try to bring a positive and enthusiastic attitude to your conversations.

4. They’re Good at Active Listening

Listening might seem like a passive activity, but there’s more to it than just hearing words.

In fact, active listening is one of the key traits of people who excel at small talk.

They don’t just listen to respond; they listen to understand.

They show interest in the conversation, maintaining eye contact, nodding when appropriate, and providing feedback when needed.

Good listeners make the conversation about the other person and validate their feelings, which can make them more successful in their personal and professional relationships.

5. They’re Empathetic

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and it’s a trait that people who are great at small talk often possess.

They have a way of making you feel seen and heard, like your words truly matter.

It’s more than just being polite; it’s about connecting on a human level.

Imagine you’re having a rough day and someone asks you how you’re doing.

You decide to be honest and share that you’re not feeling too great.

A person good at small talk wouldn’t just nod and move on.

They’d express their concern, maybe share a similar experience or simply offer words of comfort.

It’s this heartfelt connection that sets them apart.

Show genuine interest in the other person’s feelings.

It could turn your small talk into a heart-to-heart conversation, and who knows, you might just make someone’s day a little brighter. 

6. They’re Adaptable

One thing that I’ve noticed about people who are great at small talk is their ability to adapt.

They can smoothly steer the conversation in different directions based on how it’s going. And believe me, it’s an invaluable skill to have.

I remember once when I was at a family event, feeling a bit awkward as I didn’t know many people there.

That’s when my cousin, a pro at small talk, swooped in like a social superhero.

He quickly picked up on my discomfort and adapted the conversation to include topics that I was comfortable with – like my recent hiking trip and love for photography.

That simple shift made me feel included and eased the awkwardness.

Being adaptable in conversations means being attuned to the other person’s comfort level and responding accordingly.

If you can master this skill, you’ll not only be better at small talk but also become someone people enjoy talking to.

7. They’re Not Afraid to Be Real

Here’s the unvarnished truth: people who are good at small talk aren’t always spouting rainbows and sunshine. They’re real. They’re genuine.

They understand that life isn’t always picture-perfect and they’re not afraid to acknowledge that in their conversations.

They might share personal anecdotes that aren’t all rosy, or they might express an unpopular opinion, albeit respectfully.

And you know what? That’s okay. In fact, it’s more than okay – it’s refreshing.

In a world where surface-level chit-chat is the norm, these raw and honest exchanges can be a breath of fresh air.

They make conversations more meaningful and build deeper connections.

So, if you want to get better at small talk, don’t be afraid to keep it real sometimes.

Because authenticity? That’s one quality people genuinely appreciate.

8. They’re Confident

Confidence is a key trait of people who are great at small talk.

They believe in their ability to hold interesting conversations, and this confidence draws people in.

It’s not about being the loudest in the room or dominating the conversation.

It’s simply about having faith in your own voice and ideas.

Confident people are often seen as more attractive, competent, and persuasive.

This could explain why they’re so good at engaging others in conversation.

So, if you’re looking to improve your small talk skills, start by boosting your confidence.

Believe that you have interesting things to say and people will be interested to hear them. Remember, confidence is contagious. 

9. They’re Open-Minded

One trait that I’ve personally found common in people who are excellent at small talk is their open-mindedness.

They’re accepting of different opinions and perspectives, which makes them easy to talk to.

I have a friend who embodies this trait perfectly.

We have vastly different viewpoints on many things, from politics to pineapple on pizza.

But whenever we talk, there’s never any tension or awkwardness.

She’s always open to hearing my side of the story, and even if she doesn’t agree, she respects my opinion.

This open-mindedness makes our conversations enjoyable, and I always look forward to our quirky debates.

Being open-minded in your conversations can help you connect with a diverse range of people.

10. They Don’t Fear Silence

Not every moment in a conversation has to be filled with words. People who are great at small talk understand this.

They don’t panic when there’s a lull in the conversation or rush to fill every silent moment with chatter.

They’re comfortable with silence and realize that it’s a natural part of any conversation.

11. They’re Genuine

People who excel at small talk aren’t putting up a façade or trying to be someone they’re not. They’re genuine.

They don’t feel the need to impress others with extravagant stories or pretend to be interested in something they’re not.

They stay true to themselves and their interests, and this authenticity makes them more relatable and easy to talk to.

12. They Know When To Exit

Honesty time: not all conversations are going to be riveting.

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you might find yourself stuck in a dead-end chat.

People who are good at small talk know this, and more importantly, they know when and how to exit these conversations gracefully.

They understand that it’s better to end a conversation on a polite note than to drag it on unnecessarily.

So, there you have it – 12 traits that people who are great at small talk share.

Remember, mastering small talk is a skill that takes time and practice.

So, don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t get it right straight away. With patience, practice, and a little bit of courage, you’ll get there!