People who can handle criticism without getting defensive usually have these 5 traits

by Lucas Graham | February 5, 2024, 9:26 am

Dealing with criticism isn’t always easy. 

But there’s a group of people who seem to handle criticism with grace, using it as a tool for growth instead of a weapon against self-esteem.

These people have a unique set of traits that allow them to respond positively to criticism, without resorting to defensiveness.

They’re able to see beyond the negative and find the constructive core within any critique.

Take time, we’ll explore these characteristics.

The secret might be simpler than you think.

1) Self-awareness

Self-aware people have a clear perception of their personality, including their strengths and weaknesses.

They understand their values, goals, and motivations.

This deep understanding of oneself allows them to accept criticism without feeling threatened or defensive.

It’s because they already have a good grasp on their imperfections and areas that need improvement.

Therefore, when someone points out a flaw or a mistake, they’re more likely to acknowledge it rather than deny or defend it.

In essence, they see criticism as a chance to learn more about themselves and grow.

That’s why self-aware individuals are often the ones who can take criticism on the chin and use it to become better.

2) Emotional intelligence

This means they can control their emotions in a way that benefits their mental well-being.

Having high emotional intelligence allows them to separate their feelings from the critique.

Rather than taking it personally, they see it as an opportunity for growth.

I remember a time when I was leading a project at work. I was confident about my strategy and believed we were on the right track.

However, during a team meeting, one of my colleagues pointed out several flaws in my plan.

Initially, I felt a wave of defensiveness coming over me.

But then, I reminded myself that my colleague wasn’t attacking me personally.

They were critiquing the plan, not questioning my abilities or worth.

This realization helped me calm down and actually listen to what they were saying.

As a result, I was able to improve the project significantly based on their feedback.

This personal example shows how emotional intelligence can turn criticism into an advantage rather than a source of distress. 

3) Resilience

Resilience is a trait that’s often overlooked, but it plays a crucial role in how we handle criticism. 

Those who are resilient don’t let criticism deter them from their goals.

Instead, they use it as a stepping stone to improve and move forward.

They see every critique as an opportunity to learn and grow, rather than a setback.

A study published in the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology found that resilience can actually mitigate the harmful effects of workplace criticism.

The researchers found that resilient employees are less likely to experience stress or job dissatisfaction after receiving negative feedback.

Resilient could not only help you in dealing with feedback, but also in overcoming other challenges life throws your way.

4) Open-mindedness

Those who are open-minded are willing to consider different perspectives and ideas, even when they challenge their own beliefs or approaches.

They embrace the fact that they don’t know everything and that there’s always room to learn and grow.

Criticism, in this case, becomes a tool for gaining new insights and understanding.

For instance, if a colleague suggests a different way to handle a task, instead of instantly dismissing it because it contradicts their initial approach, an open-minded person would consider the suggestion, weigh its merits, and then decide whether or not to incorporate it.

In short, being open-minded towards criticism can lead to personal growth and better outcomes.

5) Confidence

Confident people believe in their abilities and worth, which allows them to face criticism without feeling threatened.

They understand that a critique is not a reflection of their value as a person but an evaluation of a specific act or behavior.

For instance, if their work project receives harsh feedback, they won’t take this as an indication that they’re incompetent.

Instead, they’ll focus on the areas that need improvement and strive to do better next time.

In essence, confidence lets you separate your self-worth from the critique and use it as a tool for improvement rather than a blow to your self-esteem.

Final thoughts: It’s a journey

Handling criticism effectively is a journey of personal growth and emotional maturity.

According to renowned psychologist Carl Rogers, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

This acceptance involves embracing criticism as an integral part of our personal and professional development.

Remember that it’s not about being perfect or never making mistakes.

It’s about learning, growing, and striving to be better each day.

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