10 phrases covert manipulators use to make you feel like you’re the crazy one

Have you ever had a conversation that left you questioning your sanity?

Not fun, right?

You’re left on shaky ground, doubting your own perception and maybe even your reality.

Well, if this sounds familiar, you might just be dealing with a covert manipulator.

These skilled puppeteers have a knack for making you feel like you’re the crazy one. They can make you question everything – your thoughts, your feelings, and even your sanity.

But worry not, because today, we’re going to change that.

In this article, we’ll be exploring the most commonly used phrases by these cunning manipulators. Phrases designed to make you feel off balance and question your own mind.

So… ready to dive in?

1) “You’re so sensitive.”

Now, let me take you back to a time when I was fresh out of college and working in my first corporate job. I had a boss who loved to use this phrase, especially after he’d said something particularly cutting or cruel.

“You’re so sensitive,” he’d say, with a dismissive wave of his hand, making it feel like my reaction was the problem and not his harsh words. It took me a while to realize that this was a classic manipulation tactic.

He was essentially shifting the blame onto me, making me feel like my emotional response was an overreaction.

2) “I was just joking.”

Ah, the age-old ‘just joking’ defense.

This one hit close to home for me. I remember an old friend who had a knack for making snide remarks about my appearance or my choices and then quickly adding, “I was just joking” when I showed any signs of being hurt.

The thing is, jokes are supposed to be funny, right?

But these so-called jokes were designed to belittle me and make me feel small.

And when I confronted her about it? Well, I was the one being unreasonable because I couldn’t take a joke.

Remember, it’s never okay for someone to belittle you under the guise of humor. If it hurts, it’s not a joke; it’s manipulation.

3) “You’re overreacting.”

This one’s a classic, isn’t it? A manipulator’s favorite tool to dismiss your feelings and invalidate your reality.

It’s as if they hold the universal measure for reactions, and anything that doesn’t fit their narrative suddenly becomes an overreaction.

But here’s something interesting. people who often accuse others of overreacting are usually trying to deflect attention away from their own inappropriate behavior.

It’s a diversion tactic, designed to shift the focus from them onto you.

So next time someone tells you that you’re overreacting, take a moment to question what they might be trying to hide.

4) “You’re just misunderstanding me.”

Manipulators are masters at playing the misunderstood card. They twist their words in a way that when you confront them, they can simply say, “You’re just misunderstanding me.”

When someone repeatedly uses this phrase, it can make you feel like you’re failing them somehow, like you’re not trying hard enough to understand. It can be heart-wrenching, especially when it’s someone you care about deeply.

But here’s the thing. Communication is a two-way street.

If someone consistently makes you feel like you’re misunderstanding them, maybe the problem isn’t with your comprehension, but with their intentions.

Always remember, it’s not your responsibility to decode disguised insults or veiled threats. True communication is clear and respectful.

5) “No one else has a problem with this.”

Let me tell you about a time when I was part of a small team at work.

Our manager had a habit of assigning extra tasks late in the day, extending our work hours. When I brought up the issue, he brushed it off with, “No one else has a problem with this.”

For a while, I believed him. I thought maybe I was the problem, maybe I was just not as efficient as my teammates.

But later, when I spoke to my colleagues, I found out that they were just as frustrated as I was but were too afraid to bring it up.

This tactic of isolating you and making you feel like you’re the only one with a ‘problem’ is another manipulative move. It’s intended to silence you and make you question your own judgement.

But always remember, just because others are not voicing their concerns, it doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

6) “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

This phrase is often used by manipulators to trivialize your feelings or concerns.

There was a time in my life when I was in a relationship with someone who would constantly downplay my concerns with this phrase. It made me feel unheard and unimportant.

What I’ve come to learn is that if something matters to you, it’s not ‘nothing’. Your feelings are valid and should never be brushed aside.

7) “You’re always so negative.”

This one’s a bit tricky because it can make you introspect about your attitude.

But often, manipulators use this phrase to turn the tables and make you the ‘bad guy’.

The reality might be that you’re simply addressing issues or raising concerns that they don’t want to deal with.

8) “You must remember it wrong.”

Also known as gaslighting, this tactic involves manipulating someone into doubting their own memory or perception. It’s a powerful tool in a manipulator’s arsenal, designed to make you question your own reality.

This is especially dangerous because consistent gaslighting can lead to significant mental health issues, including depression and anxiety.

So if someone regularly makes you question your memory, it might be time to reassess that relationship.

9) “I never said that.”

This is another form of gaslighting where the manipulator outright denies saying something that you clearly remember them saying. It’s a way for them to escape accountability for their words or actions.

10) “Why are you always trying to start an argument?”

This phrase is often used by manipulators when they want to avoid a certain topic or deflect blame. It’s a way of turning the discussion into an argument, shifting the focus from the issue at hand to your supposed tendency to create conflict.

Final thoughts

Navigating relationships with manipulators can be difficult and emotionally draining. Recognizing these phrases is a step towards protecting yourself from their manipulation.

Remember, you have the right to express your feelings, thoughts, and concerns without fear of being made to feel crazy or irrational.