8 phrases manipulators use to undermine your confidence, according to psychology

Here’s something you might think about only sometimes: manipulators.

You know, those people who seem all nice but are just trying to make you unsure of yourself.

Why would they do that? Well, it’s simple: they want to get what they want.

And guess what? They could be your coworker, friends, or even family members.

Not a fun thought, right? But don’t worry!

We’re here to help.

We’ve got a list of eight phrases these manipulators use.

So, let’s get started and learn how to spot them.

1) “You’re too sensitive”

This is a classic one in the manipulator’s playbook.

Have you ever been told you overreact or are too sensitive?

That’s them trying to undermine your feelings.

It’s easy to start doubting yourself when you’re told your reactions or feelings are wrong or exaggerated.

But remember, it’s not about being too sensitive; they are not respecting your feelings.

So next time someone tells you you’re being “too sensitive”, trust yourself. Your feelings are your radar for manipulators.

2) “I was just joking”

Have you ever heard this one after someone said something hurtful?

That’s another tricky tool manipulators use.

They’ll say something mean or belittling; then, when you react, they’ll shrug it off as a ‘joke’.

It’s their sneaky way of making you feel bad and blaming you for not taking a ‘joke’.

But here’s the thing: jokes are supposed to be funny, not hurtful.

If it makes you feel bad, it’s not a joke; it’s manipulation.

When you hear this, know it’s not your sense of humor that’s off – it’s their behavior.

3) “If you cared about me, you’d do this”

This one hits close to home.

I remember a friend who always used to say this.

She would drop this line if I didn’t want to go to a party or had other plans: “If you cared about me, you’d come.”

This is guilt-tripping at its finest.

Manipulators will attempt to make you feel guilty for not bending to their will. They use your feelings for them as a weapon against you.

But here’s what I’ve learned: real friends and loved ones respect your choices.

They understand you can care about them and still have your own life.

Regcozing it if someone uses this line on you because they are trying to control you.

4) “You’re not remembering it correctly”

This phrase is a prime example of gaslighting, a form of psychological manipulation where a person makes you doubt your memory or perception.

Someone constantly corrects your memory or tells you you remember things wrong; watch out!

They might be trying to manipulate the narrative to suit their motives.

Trust your memory and your instincts.

Don’t let anyone try to control the situation.

5) “You don’t understand what I’m going through”

This expression tugs at the heartstrings.

Manipulators use it to make themselves the victim and make you feel like you’re not empathetic enough.

They’re pulling on your heart, wanting you to feel bad for them, even when they’re wrong.

It’s a way of shifting the focus from their actions to their feelings.

On the other hand, genuine empathy is a two-way street.

It’s about understanding each other’s feelings, not just one person demanding sympathy while dismissing the other’s feelings.

Remember that your feelings matter, too.

You deserve empathy as much as they do.

6) “No one else has a problem with this”

I remember a time when I was working on a group project in college.

I expressed concern about our approach but was quickly dismissed with, “No one else has a problem with this.”

This word is a classic tactic manipulators use to isolate you, making you feel like you’re the odd one out.

It’s designed to make you second-guess your judgment and align with their thinking.

I’ve learned that just because no one else voices their concerns doesn’t mean they don’t have any.

Stand firm in your beliefs; don’t be swayed by such tactics.

Your perspective is just as valid as anyone else’s.

7) “You always/you never”

Let’s get real here.

These two terms are nothing short of emotional grenades.

“You always forget to call me.” “You never take my feelings into account.” Sound familiar?

These absolute statements are manipulators’ way of painting you as the constant wrongdoer.

Nobody is programmed with unchanging behavior.

These phrases are just manipulators trying to make you feel guilty and apologetic all the time.

Take a step back when you hear these.

Don’t buy into the guilt trip. Everyone slips up sometimes – but that doesn’t make you a constant disappointment or the villain in their story.

8) “I’m sorry you feel that way”

This expression sounds like an apology, but it’s not.

It’s a manipulator’s way of dodging responsibility for their actions.

Instead of apologizing for what they’ve done, they’re blaming your feelings.

Sincere apologies have four parts – acknowledgment of the mistake, taking responsibility, making amends, and assurance of not repeating the error.

“I’m sorry you feel that way” does nothing.

If you hear someone say pseudo-apology, remember it for what it is – an avoidance tactic.

You deserve a heartfelt apology when someone’s wronged you!