12 phrases only highly successful people use, according to psychology

“Successful people replace the words ‘wish,’ ‘should,’ and ‘try’ with ‘I will.'” — Brandi L. Bates.

Bates nailed it on the head with this quote. 

Successful people have a habit of speaking with intention and following through with action.

They know that success begins with the they talk to themselves and others

And that’s not just an assumption. There’s a lot of agreement among experts that our language has a big impact on success.  

Here’s a look at 12 phrases that the most highly successful individuals use, according to psychologists.

1) “No”

“Really successful people say no to almost everything” – Warren Buffet.

Psychologists agree with Buffet’s words and say that using his approach may help us succeed in our personal lives.

Just as Buffet says “no” to countless investment proposals until he sees what he is looking for, we should also say “no” to requests for our time and energy if it doesn’t align with our goals.

Think about it:

How much effort are you giving away to things that don’t support your dreams?

We’re afraid to say no because it has a pessimistic tone. 

But here’s what we fail to realize:

“No,” when delivered with kindness, clarity, and respect, is a single word that could keep us away from distractions and lead us closer to our dreams.

2) “Yes”

I know it’s contradictory to our previous point, but here’s how experts make sense of this:

Saying yes can lead you to success as much as saying no does. 

But this will only be effective if you run it through a set criteria before giving out a response.

Communication expert Dr. Heidi Reeder shares hers in the form of three questions that 

dictate her yes’s and no’s: 

• Will I have a good time? 
• Are there valued people involved? 
• Will it develop my skills?

In short, mindful yes’s are as powerful as selective no’s.

3) “Thank you”

Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, psychologists who have studied more than 40,000 couples, note that the number one phrase people in successful relationships use comes in two words:

“Thank you.”

While the Gottmans’ observations are primarily based on couples, there is a lot of anecdotal evidence of people attributing their different types of success to gratitude.

Successful people know the not-so-secret secret to true success:

Being grateful for the support they get and the connections they make along the way.

4) “I was wrong”

Curiosity and psychology expert Scott Shigeoka reports that the one thing common with the highly successful and likable people he has encountered is their willingness to admit they were wrong.

According to him, admitting our faults helps us move past keeping score of our rights and wrongs. 

And when we acknowledge and understand our mistakes, we learn to see them as chances to improve.

Take it from Morihei Ueshiba:

 “Failure is the key to success; each mistake teaches us something.”

5) “Can you tell me more”

Owning up to your mistake is one thing, but hearing others call it out is an entirely different challenge – one that only successful people can overcome.

When someone points out what you’ve done wrong, and you react with this question instead of being defensive, you’re showing openness, one of the telltale signs of a successful individual.

Plus, asking, “Can you tell me more?” shows you listen and care about others’ critiques. It makes you less likely to argue and more open to changing your ways.

This practice of embracing and applying feedback is what separates the truly successful from the rest.

6) “I will work on that”

Speaking of the hallmarks of a successful person, let’s look into flexibility and adaptability.

You embody these two traits when you respond with the phrase “I will work on that” and when someone gives you constructive feedback.

It’s a response that shows a proactive attitude.

You’re not just acknowledging the feedback but also committing to take action on it. 

This shows you’re not just about talk but more about the walk. 

Remember:

Successful people are where they are because of their willingness to take steps to better themselves rather than waiting for things to magically improve. 

7) “What do you think about…”

Being great at persuasive communication is another characteristic skill of highly successful individuals, especially those in leadership roles.

Psychologists believe that the best leaders avoid mandates and instead use words that encourage initiative.

They’re the ones who avoid words like ‘must,’ ‘have,’ and ‘should’ when talking to their team.

They do this with the understanding that such words could come off controlling and robbing the team members’ autonomy.

Highly successful leaders allow others to express their opinions, and they do these by using phrases like:

“What do you think about…” or “You may want to…”

8) Let’s explore other possibilities”

Financial psychology expert Brad Klontz says that shutting off new ideas and not wanting to explore other avenues is a surefire way to limit one’s success.

By that logic, having a welcoming mind when it comes to considering unexplored strategies can significantly increase your chances of success.

As Klontz says, success involves having the strength to remain open-minded and to abandon beliefs and tactics that no longer serve your purpose.

Think of it as opening a new door on a familiar hallway, revealing a room filled with treasures you never knew existed.

9) “I have a choice”

You know the great thing that comes with having multiple possibilities?

Having a choice!

That, in itself, is a success in its own right, based on psychologist Dr Jean Pollack’s expert opinion.

She says that success is not only living and speaking your truth but also living life the way you choose.

So when you say, “I have a choice,” you’re exercising your right to take ownership of your own journey. 

It’s another way of expressing that you’re defining success on your own terms, one choice at a time.

10) “I am responsible for my own success”

Not only do successful people define success on their own terms, but they also believe in their ability to influence their outcomes – or, as psychologists call it, the “internal locus of control.”

And that’s why saying “I am responsible for my own success” has become somewhat of a mantra for highly successful individuals.

Again, they don’t wait for luck to come their way. They also don’t blame others when things don’t go as planned.

Instead, they know they have the power to steer their life in the direction they want it to go.

It’s not discounting the impact of external factors and other people on their achievements. 

It’s more about highlighting their active role in positively responding to these influences.

11) “Don’t compare”

This isn’t a phrase used in their daily interactions, but it’s certainly a phrase that the highly successful use as a regular reminder for themselves.

Let’s be real, who among us hasn’t looked at someone else’s wins, wealth, beauty, or love life and compared them to our own?

Psychologists say it’s human nature to size ourselves up against others. They say it can be helpful in some ways, mainly if we use them as motivation to improve our lives.

However, they also point out the heavy toll comparison has on us:

It can leave us feeling “chronically inferior or depressed.”

But then again, they also understand that since it’s an innate human response, it’s not something that we can shut down completely.

Their advice?

Seek connection instead of comparison. Use our peers as inspirations, not as competition.

Finally, they say that if we were to do it, we compare ourselves only to ourselves.

They quote:

“A happy runner compares himself to his last run, not others who are faster.”

12) “I’m happy to wait”

Willpower – as defined by the American Psychological Association (APA) – is “the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.”

Whether it’s to lose weight, save enough or a first home deposit, kick a nasty habit, or excel in school or work, the APA identifies willpower as a critical component to succeeding in any of these feats.

They’ve even enumerated study after study proving how delaying gratification plays a role in developing self-control and determining one’s positive life outcomes, a.k.a. success.

So when you say you’re “happy to wait,” it isn’t just a reflection of your patience. 

It’s also a testament to your eye on the prize, knowing it’s worth the wait.

Final thoughts

To wrap it up, being successful is about understanding the work you’ve put in, being grateful for the support, picking yourself up after a fall, and deciding what success looks like for you. 

It’s really about all these things working together, instead of just a single aspect.

And don’t forget:

The words we use matter.

What we say to ourselves and others have the power to push us forward or hold us back.